[done waiting]

I sit with my grief. I mother it. I hold its small, hot hand. I don’t say, shhh. I don’t say, it's okay. I wait until it is done having feelings. Then we stand and we go wash the dishes.

THANK YOU

so there’s like a billion and one things going on in this painting (because it’s the middle of the renaissance and they got a li’l excited) so let’s break this down.

first off, it was painted smack dab in the middle of the renaissance (1533) which means people-with-money are interested in two primary things:

Self-Knowledge

Knowledge of God

this is important and will explain 90% of everything going on (the remaining 10% is just the painter showing off).

okay, so first off it’s called ambassadors because on either side we have a)a stately, educated man of the world, and b)a religious figure head. who precisely they were was up for debate for like 300 hundred years and isn’t really the point. what is the point is that one of them represents the best of man, and the other the best from God; they therefore are ambassadors of these two facets, and to prove their excellence, we have all the items on the shelves.

on the top shelf we’ve got a celestial globe, a sundial, a quadrant, a torquetum, etc. these are all things focused on learning the up there, the things beyond this world but yet are still scientific that humans are categorizing.

meanwhile on the bottom shelf, we’ve got the awesome things of human learning on earth: a terrestrial globe, a book of mathematics for merchants, a lute, hymnal, etc.

the point of having all these things is to show off the glory of human excellence when it comes to learning and also the artist’s ability to paint details. you’ve got the full trivium of learning going on: grammar, logic, rhetoric; and then also the quadrivium: geometry, arithmetic, music, and astronomy. everything is balanced.

H O W E V E R.

holbein is also problematizing human learning even as he’s extolling its virtues. for example, we have a broken string on the lute:

the instrument settings on the polyhedral sundial are actually wrong:

and, most importantly, that mother effing skull.

so the skull represents a couple things.

first, perspective was all 👏 the 👏  rage 👏  during the renaissance, and the better you were at it, the higher respect you got. so if you could draw something like this (which a previous commenter is correct, it was hung by a staircase so you would see it as you passed by), you automatically got that sweet sweet street cred. also if you don’t think it’s impressive that he could paint this by hand, you try it because dear lord it’s not fun pls pls professor let us go back to normal still lifes we’ll never complain about onion skins and tomatoes ever again aaaaaugh—

um so second, this is a form of memento mori, or vanitas, meaning “remember you must die” and “vanity” (a reference to ecclesiastes), respectively. the point of painting these was to remind the owner that they are mortal, and that time is short — and that no matter how much human knowledge they accumulated (the shelves), nothing could stop death.

side note: the placement of the skull is also important. the skull is a reference to death, the end of life, so it’s placed on the floor. compare this to michelangelo’s creation of adam, which is a reference to the beginning of life, and is placed on the sistine chapel’s ceiling. 

for life you look up, for death you look down.

AND BECAUSE OF THAT, we get to the last thing this painting is hiding:

a crucifix, tucked away in the top left corner so that you can barely see it, but once you do, you can’t unsee it. because, once again, this is the middle of the renaissance: holbein wants to stress both the importance of human knowledge (plato’s know thyself), and its limits (calvin’s ‘man never has clear knowledge of self until he has seen God’s face’). remember knowledge, remember death, remember christ.

and remember how good of a painter he is he needs more patrons.

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

mysterious

angelic

enigmatic

ethereal

boisterous

list of things I am:

introverted

tired

sleepy

confused

So, our Lung is on fire.

It is already threatened by huge deforestation, to the point it lost 20% of its wildth in less than 30 years.

It’s been burning for around two weeks and almost no word has been uttered about it. I, sincerely, have come to find out about it just now. I’m shooketh ™️ because we’re really burning away this planet.

So, as a brazillian, I'm desperate and so angry on what's happening with the world's biggest forest and, since I know there's not a lot of media coverage on this, I thought I could share some information.

THE AMAZONIA RAINFOREST HAS BEEN BURNING FOR 3 WEEKS

The Amazonia Rainforest is the biggest rainforest in the world and it's the home of millions of species of animals and plants, as well as to hundreds of indigenous tribes (also, they're the ones actually protecting the forest, the ones who warned everyone that this was going to happen, and now the ones who are going to suffer the most).

The Amazonia is responsible for about 20% of all oxygen on Earth and 20% of the fresh water on the planet flows on its rivers.

Brazil's current president is a racist, homophobic and stupid dude, who approves and promotes anti environment behaviour. He pardoned environmental criminals and suspended environmental laws.

In Brazil, large companies and landowners (and some politicians) are the ones benefiting from the deforestation and that's because the wood extracted illegally is sold to European Countries and the land devastated is used for livestock.

If the Amazonia is destroyed the rest of the world is likely to be destroyed as well. 

PLEASE HELP. I know it may seem impossible to do anything from far away, but by spreading information, donating to NGOs and protesting, we may be able to pressure the government to do something. 

By CeruleanRaven

I CLICKED ON THE LINK EXPECTING IT TO GO UP TO A LARGE AND BE DISAPPOINTED BUT THEYRE

SIZE

INCLUSIVE

JESUS

Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.”

The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone:

“Study”

YOU THINK JUST THE NOISE IS FUNNY AND FITS WITH THE GIF REALLY WELL

BUT THEN

THEN

THE LYRICS START