isaac newton's laws of pregnancy. the ass baby is stored in the balls.

spread dad cheeks. not love.

cats will be like “mreep” and every human in the vicinity will be like yes maam youre so right you know everything we love you

b words are always the greatest bestie babe bisexual so on and so forth

boobs

after this procedure, im going to be the first Twink Milf 

the surgery was a failure! I’m a creature now

a surgery failure but a diversity win!

some of you have never been hunted for sport and it shows

but soon that will change

Girls…are like strawberries

Sometimes they are in the grocery store

everyone reblog and tag ur top three fruits i want to know

*gets flung horizontally onto another tab*

backwards trope you fake breakup and realise maybe this is better

arranged divorce

you have increasingly terrible visits to a coffee shop centered on interactions with one barista until eventually one of you snaps and kills the other and one of the other baristas throws their hands in the air and says FINALLY i thought you guys would never figure it out

you are snowed out. you die of hypothermia

Enemies to angrier enemies.

Controversial crossword puzzle in this week's school newspaper defines chihuahuas as a species of rodent