don’t mind me

Using the free space to discuss what I think they’re doing in domestic life

- Ilya has a Shane babying voice and an Anya babying voice. Nobody outside of the household can tell the difference but Shane gets very genuinely offended when Ilya uses his Anya voice on him

- Shane is the fixer upper and every time he fixes something Ilya goes ‘you know we are millionaires right? Who can pay handyman?’ But also he’s sitting next to Shane handing him screws & smiling at his hot husband’s handywork

- Shane has an extensive bedtime routine. It involves 20 minutes of stretching, splashing cold water on his face, & a five-step dental routine. The final step is Ilya waiting until Shane is in bed curled up next to him to ask ‘could you go refill my waaaater’

- Speaking of sleeping: Anya sleeps in between them and Ilya sleeps with his face smashed into Shane’s shoulder because it’s the only part of him he can reach (& Shane’s cat, because #myShane will always have a cat, sleeps on his chest & swats at Ilya’s hair in the morning)

- Ilya’s #1 tell that Shane is annoyed at him is when Shane says “I’m going to take a shower” instead of “can WE go shower”

— Shane, does this book make me look smart enough?

the first thing they’ll tell you is that you look like your father.

You’re allowed to hate your brother. The world will understand if you hate him because he is a generational talent and pretty and well-fucked and well-liked—but not if it’s because he is your brother. There are only so many hours in a family’s day. You are five. Someone puts two dogs in a cage and hopes they don’t kill each other. You are thirty; you realize there is no key and no dogs and you call your brother and say, I need money. What you meant to say is: I have been thinking about dying and all the ways it comes to us, and then I thought of you dead, and it scared me, if only for a moment, to realize that even you could die, and that if you were to die then I would truly be alone in this world, even with my daughter, and my wife, I would feel a deep aching hole in my stomach between the liver and the heart, where you punched me for the first time, and it rattled all through my body until I shook so hard I broke your nose.