PLATYPUSEGGNOG

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

what should I listen to

women

who want me? lol we’re running out of time

the word 'swim' is doing a lot of heavy work here

Not half as much as the audio is

why r callouts always like "please dont harass this person and dont go after them. anyway heres every single detail of their life gathered by stalking and their private profiles for all to see"

"please don't go after this person! now let me post this document for every single one of my followers and list every single one of their usernames"

I think if I heard I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas in the correct circumstances it could move me to tears. It's like the promise of a brighter future that never came to pass

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

Found the source of the infographic that explains how the results were obtained!

we did it, we created furry gerrymandering

every fucking time I see this I miss the "7 month old" part, then when I see the image I fucking lose it. god fucking dammit

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast