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We’re running out of memes to make

It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are

I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man

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WikiHow said fuck blue lives

They always gotta violate a chicken.

The music from Hereditary and the 7 shots of a chicken being penetrated with a block of cheese are what make it.

My absolute favorite part of the notes is the person who said this chicken recipe had no seasoning. You witnessed someone douse a chicken in a bath of butter, garlic, parsley, salt, stuff it with more garlic and shove an entire block of cheese up its chussy. Do you...not know what seasoning is?

The fuck of it is that if I didn’t see the process of cooking this thing I would wanna eat it

CHUSSY

That cheese comming out of that chussy tho 😩

When they flap the chussy lips shut 😩🥴

i see it’s a Big Day Online for everyone who is using the same blog they made in 2011

Literally any other colour would’ve been a better choice guys.

I think y’all are missing the point here.

You can theorize to Nebraska and back but that doesn’t change my immediate reaction which is that someone is literally dragging a corpse around

To please both sides yellow would have been much happier and uplifting, it also wouldn’t look like a corpus was dragged all over

i am begging you to please consider why yellow would actually be just as bad

certified iconic post

the holy trinity

the more i learn about william shakespeare the more i lose my mind

his tragedy coriolanus contains the first recorded use of the word lonely meaning bill shakespeare might have invented the word lonely

the phrase the word lonely first appeared in is “like to a lonely dragon”

also on an unrelated note two of his distant relatives were executed in 1583 for a plot to kill the queen. they were beheaded and their heads were placed on pikes on london bridge meaning as young aspiring thespian william shakespeare arrived in london for the very first time, he might have been greeted by his relatives’ rotting heads. i woulda turned around and gone the fuck back to stratford

in his time period life expectancy was 35. monks were expected to drink gallon of beer a day. the names “agnes” and “anne” were interchangeable because the g was silent so it’s entirely possible shakespeare was married to a woman named agnes instead. the words “trash” “fart” and “slut” existed, but not the word “science.” speaking of language by 1600 “thou” had fallen out of fashion meaning shakespeare might’ve only included it to be more fucking dramatic

he never once spelled his surname “shakespeare” (he preferred “shakspere” apparently) and he once signed a legal document as “willm shaksp”

your life is a fucking sidequest

ppl don’t understand adhd/autistic cleaning processes. we think so far ahead it’s like,,, impossible to do shit. you want me to vaccuum my bedroom floor? okay. we need to pick up all the stuff thats on it first, though. and where are we going to put the stuff? well, theres a couple categories of Stuff- Clothes, Random Items, and Trash. Trash is easy, we just throw it away. Clothes have to be sorted into Clean, Not Clean- and then the not clean ones have to go in the laundry bag, but theres so many so i might have to start a load now- ugh, distracted. lets go back to the clean clothes. well, these go in my drawer but- my drawer is really disorganized, so i’ll have to organize the clothes first so that theyll fit and look neat. by the time i’m done with that, i’ve spent an hour and a half trying to do stuff in my room. i finally turn to random items, most of which can find a home on my desk, but others i dont really know what to do with. plus, my desk is dirty. so i have to organize my desk, figure out where everything goes, and the stuff that doesn’t have a place can go in… a box, i guess. (not like i don’t have three other boxes full of random stuff in my closet)  so i put all the items back up but now i have this box full of stuff i dont know if i need so i have to go through it, sorting it into donate and dont donate piles. i might as well throw in some clothes to, so i dig through my clothes drawer and get the clothes i dont want, throw them in there too. okay, back to the random items- the ones i dont want to donate are still here, so i have to put them somewhere. i dont have anywhere to put them- maybe i should get a shelf? i start googling shelves, figuring out which ones would be best for my room, debating prices, learning about installation, and eventually im like ‘well, already on my computer’ and i decide im going to ‘check’ social media and end up lost in it for an hour or so. you walk back in, and theres stuff all over the floor, albeit in bags and boxes, and it still hasnt been vacuumed. its been five hours since i started. how does it take five hours to clean your room? it just does. 

she went off