America's Favorite Fighting Frenchman

yooooooooo can i have a quick honk on that bobo??

I put on the maid outfit and I make your house messier

Homesick for the elderly lesbian couple at my hometown's antique store who found out I was transitioning and said, "You should buy a lantern! All the men who come in here go bonkers for our lanterns."

shoveling handfuls of baby carrots into my mouth after jerking off to create a pavlovian response that allows me to see fine details at 2 miles whenever I get an erection

I feel like everyone worships avocado and I’m struggling because it just tastes like compressed wet grass lump but nobody will listen and I’m all alone in this world

Don’t mock my squishy hulk nuts

this is the worst thing that could’ve happened to this post