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Between the waves, Ivan Aivazovsky, 1898

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introducing my four year old niece to the concept of "moral dilemmas" by telling her that i'm a monster that eats children and that i know it's wrong but i'm so so so hungry and everything else tastes yucky. i've tried all the human food in the world and it all tastes so yucky i can't even eat it. i can only eat children and i'm so hungry
her resolution was that if i meet a kid that has the same name as their sibling, then i can eat one of them. their parents won't be sad, because they have another kid with the same name right there. speaks to an uninformed but fascinating worldview
our history teacher tried a similar tack but the theoretical scenario was "the man who invented the medicine necessary to save your wife is charging more money than you can pay and won't accept credit. you're against stealing but you also don't want your wife to die. what do you do?"
our answer was not only to steal the medicine but to murder the inventor because if he's paywalling life-saving medicine, the solution that involves the lowest body count is killing him. we're ethically and morally obligated to eliminate this threat to human survival
did not go the way he thought it would
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so many amazing words in the english language. you have clandestine and precarious and serendipity and iconoclast and then you also have staunch and sludge and slurp and smudge
Daryl Cagle, November 23, 2003
Going to add something here as a few people in the notes don't know the significance of the date here, or think this might be a dig at Sesame Street somehow - on November 18th, 2003, there was an absolutely landmark legal case in the state of Massachusetts that ruled that civil unions in that state needed to be given the same rights as marriage. This was HUGE - gay marriage was not legally recognized in any state at the time, and civil unions were the closest you could get. This is a WONDERFULLY hopeful, sweet comic drawn five whole days after an enormous, major step forward for gay marriage POSSIBLY being legal. Massachusetts wouldn't even properly legalize gay marriage until May 2004, and it was the first state to do so.
You can Google Goodridge v Department of Public Health for more details.
Official Post of Massachusetts
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And it's sickening because so much of the development of HIV medicine has been publicly funded. We fucking paid for this research dozens of times over; without that public funding there would be almost nothing new for pharmaceutical companies to ransom I mean sell in the first place.
āwe need more weird art!ā but not anything that makes me feel uncomfortable or alienated or challenged. āweird artā but i donāt want to consider the perspective of anyone i might have real irrevocable differences from. āweird artā but everything must be carefully couched in the language of white middle-class american sensibilities at all times. āweird artā but it has to be picked from a list of pre-established āweirdā tropes that i recognize from carefully curated lists on letterboxd.

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Every now and then some discourse pops up around a queer ship consisting of a pair of fictional characters who are not blood related, but refer to themselves as "brothers" or "sisters," or are in some way, according to the fandom, "sibling-coded."
Every time I see that discourse, all I can think about are the very real queer men I once knew, who, before their deaths, lived their lives posing as "stepbrothers." The only way to avoid suspicion for being two older unmarried men living together in a rural conservative area was to pretend they were from the same family, even though the truth was that they were lovers.
They were never out in life. Their relationship was a strict secret to nearly everyone. They never knew that I knew, and sometimes it fucks me up inside that they never got to come out to me. It fucks me up that they had to hide behind a fake "brotherly" relationship for their own safety. It fucks me up to look at a gravestone that reads "beloved brother" and know what it really means, and what it could have said if they'd lived under different circumstances.
In another world, they could have been husbands, but they never had the opportunity. The world will remember them as brothers, because, even in death, that is what was safest.
The freedom to declare queer love openly is something that not everyone has. And I think more people could stand to remember that.
I recently aided a library patron who was doing research on queer couples and inheritance law, and ended up reading a few of the articles they selected, including this one about a wealthy gay man who legally adopted his longtime partner before he died:
In 1960, at the age of eighty-six, Robert Allerton adopted his longtime partner, John Gregg. Allerton was twenty-five years Gregg's senior,
āIn 1960, at the age of eighty-six, Robert Allerton adopted his longtime partner, John Gregg. Allerton was twenty-five years Gregg's senior, and they had been referring to themselves as adopted father and son since the 1920s. Although not a well-known practice, over the course of the twentieth century, some gay couples used adult adoption to secure family rights. This strategy accelerated significantly in the 1980s when AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) made questions of the legal recognition of queer partnerships desperately pressing.ā
Iām no expert on the subject, but it seems that some people today may not appreciate how creative queer couples have historically needed to be in order to explain away their partnerships.
playstation ad, 1999
They really don't fucking do it like this anymore do they
nobody warns you this but addiction happens without you noticing and one of the first things that it attacks is your ability to care. if you find yourself using recreational drugs every day, stop and take one day a week sober. if you struggle with this or if you don't see the point of the exercise, you are likely already addicted and you need help.
nobody ever taught me the warning signs for drug addiction, only that "it costs lots of money and destroys your life!!!1" which is not helpful if you can't recognize a developing addiction in yourself.
so here's some things to watch out for with recreational drug use:
planning your day around drugs e.g "i'll give myself an extra half hour before heading out so i can get high first"
rapidly switching emotions around drugs. you love them but you hate that you love them so much. you hate the way you feel on them but you hate being sober. feeling guilty after using even when you didn't give a crap beforehand.
caring less about spending money. if you are budgeting for drugs like they are food, you are likely prioritizing them more than is healthy.
getting high to do household chores and other unpleasant things because it would suck less and be more bearable on drugs
feeling anxious or restless while sober, not knowing what to do with oneself, feeling lost or ungrounded.
thinking about doing drugs constantly even while sober. maybe it's the first thing you think of when you wake up. maybe when you're bored or otherwise have free time, drugs are one of the first things you can think of to occupy yourself with.
going to work or school while under the influence, especially if it happens regularly and if you're seeing your performance suffer as a result.
the idea of taking a 'tolerance break' sounds good to you until it's actually break time, at which point you can come up with 20 very reasonable sounding points to explain why it wouldn't benefit you actually and you should just keep doing drugs regardless.
even if you succeed at quitting the drug, you keep your dealer's number on your phone "just in case"
you pretend to be sober when you aren't. you worry about other people noticing how much time you spend high. you make efforts to hide your drug use or minimize how much other people think you're using. you're scared of other people's judgement if they were to find out.
you have mood swings laced with self-hatred, regret, financial worries, and guilt. these mood swings are then very quickly wiped away by feelings of "but it doesn't matter, i can do what i want, and clearly i'm doing just fine while using drugs frequently". news flash, if you are rapidly switching between feeling numb-ok and hating yourself more than anything because of your drug use, you are mentally ill.
yes this applies to weed. weed is a drug and you can get addicted to it like any other substance. addiction is not the same as physical dependence; it is psychological and it can happen to anyone. you are not immune to addiction.
Many of these also apply to process addictions such as Gambling Addiction.
and drinking!!
But by 2023, just two years of letting "nature take the lead" one can find 4,000 bees, with the number of different bee species doubling.
"A Scottish field once home to mono-crop barley has become a pollinatorās paradise after intervention from a local trust saw bumblebee numbers increase 100-fold.
Entitled Rewilding Denmarkfield, and run by the Bumblebee Conservation Trust, the project has also seen a sharp increase in the number of species passing through the rolling meadows after they were reclaimed by dozens of wildflower species.
The area north of Perth is about 90 acres in size, and surveys of bumblebees before the project began rarely recorded more than 50. But by 2023, just two years of letting ānature take the leadā that number has topped 4,000, with the number of different bee species doubling.
āThis superb variety of plants attracts thousands of pollinators. Many of these plants, such as spear thistle and smooth hawkās beard, are sometimes branded as āweedsā. But they are all native species that are benefiting native wildlife in different ways,ā Ecologist Ellie Corsie, who has been managing the project since it began in 2021, said.
āDue to intensive arable farming, with decades of plowing, herbicide, and pesticide use, biodiversity was incredibly low when we started. Wildlife had largely been sanitized from the fields. Rewilding the site has had a remarkable benefit.ā
Similar increases have been recorded in the populations of butterflies, with a tripling in the number of these insects seen on average during a ramble through the field.
The numbers of both insects are now so high that Rewilding Denmarkfield offers bee and butterfly safaris to visitors.
Local residents told the Scotsman that on spring and summer days, the field is awash with color, and hums with the sounds of bees and birds. Even as multiple housing developments expand around the Denmarkfield area, the field is a haven for wildlife."
-via Good News Network, December 2, 2024

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Teresa Margolles,Ā Carousel Lavatio Corporis, 1994.
āgirl dinnerā āgirl mathā āiām just a girlā okay but I am an adult I am six feet tall I am loud as fuck I take up space I am smart and capable. So are you. Why would we want to laugh at jokes where the punchline is that women arenāt? Why would we want to make jokes about being small and childish and incapable? Who do you think laughs at those jokes the loudest?
imo itās not that deep, or it wasnāt that deep when these jokes were only between women, particularly friends. if i go to goodwill and spend $50 and say āhaha girl math!ā to my friend who also spent too much money at goodwill, itās because iām filled with the joy of acquired trinkets & excited to take them home with me. it doesnāt mean i donāt understand the value of $50, it doesnāt mean i didnāt have $50 to spend. it has nothing to do with girls = dumb because girls already know theyāre not dumb. then men got ahold of it and now i canāt say āhaha girl dinnerā on a pic of diet coke and weed without some idiot accusing me of bimbofying drug addiction or whatever the fuck because they saw a meme post, assuming i have diet coke and weed for dinner every day, but have no idea i actually had a popeyeās 3-piece w/mac & cheese. and a diet coke.
If you spend too much money shopping and decide to blame that on you being a girl as an adult, own it. Thatās what youāre doing. You are the one putting that idea out into the world and normalizing it in your social circle. You know youāre not dumb, but āāgirl mathā is when you spend too much money shoppingā is not a statement that anyone can make without misogynistic social consequences. If you wanna die on this hill for your right to make sexist jokes go for it, but you are responsible for those consequences as much as anyone else.
It IS that deep, and you know itās that deep because when you hear men make those jokes you get the appropriate level of angry. Why do YOU want to make jokes where the punchline is that the only math women can do is be bad at budgeting? What do you get out of that?