welcome to the horrors

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

you can tell a little in the flat images but in real life his paintings are delightfully 3D, he absolutely globbed the paint on, those paintings have texture.

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter

every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart

that photo is one of the sexiest things i have ever seen.

This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....

catholic guilt vs protestant belief in your own inherent superiority, fight

wait no I just remembered a few hundred years of history I take this post back

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

poking at Ur hand with my nose to get you to pet me

you're going to try and bite it aren't you?

im not gonna lie i will straight up be biting it yes

david trying to simultaneously calm his sobbing child trying to tell him spaghetti left his house and also be moral support for his deer in headlights wife who is now processing that spaghetti has left his house MEANING! SPAGHETTI IS LIKELY NOW IN *HER* HOUSE!! WHERE SHE LIVES!!!