Trash Pirate

me playing any video game: *does not touch the block button at all throughout the game*

#no block button we lose like men

#dodge or die #there is no block

what the fuck is this dodge nonsense? You hit them harder and faster than they hit you and That Is How You Play Video Game

Don’t talk to me about buffing or debuffing stats either. The only stat that matters is the enemy’s HP, and I am going to debuff it all the way to zero.

Next some loser is gonna tell me to use the brake button in a racing game. No I hold accelerate the whole time and either drift or die

calling tumblr 'tumblr dot com' is the equivalent of a parent calling their child by their full name when theyre angry

tumblr dorothy commercial you come down here right now

opening my locket with a picture of the left tit in one side and a picture of the right tit in the other and sighing wistfully

Hope all of you who wanted it to be cold again are proud of yourselves

Pbelt Witchsona

everyone mentions the tumblr calendar of Out of Touch Thursday and Tuesday again? No problem, but we can go bigger. A larger scale. Is it not now Over the Garden Wall Fall?

nothing gay sex wouldn’t solve

It’s like when making Hocus Pocus they told Bette Midler “this is camp just do whatever the fuck you want,” they told Sarah Jessica Parker that she could either drop acid or do a line of coke before every take but she had to do one, they told Kathy Najimy that her character is just an evil golden retriever, and then they told all the actors playing the kids that this was a very serious horror movie and if they didnt take all of this seriously they’d be in trouble

I think that's why it resonates so much with both kids and adults. To the kids, this seems like a Super Scary Movie -- I know I thought so the first time I saw it at like age 8. It had real stakes! It had villains who really did bad things! A little girl really died in the beginning! They were going make the parents dance until they DIED! This is way more serious than most movies I am allowed to watch! The campy elements actually read as kind of sinister when you're a child -- these evil witches being wildly over-the-top and unpredictable. And that's why it works, I think: because the scariness comes from the strangeness, not from something we might call genuine horror, the movie is okay for little kids to watch. And some of the camp genuinely does serve as comedic moments for the kids, to make sure the witches are TOO scary. Meanwhile, when you grow up, you're like "OMG this is hilarious look at this shit" -- all the stuff that seemed weird and strange and sinister when you were little now is vibrant and fun. Basically, as a child, you identify with the super serious children trying to survive a horror movie, and as an adult you identify with Kathy Najimy trying to ride a vaccuum cleaner because there are no brooms. Like, "My life is a mess, too, Kathy. We're all just making due. You and your sisters stay extra, okay?"