scientific nature of the whammy

Suddenly breaking his silence to extol the virtues of the decades-old HBO series, local dad Henry Breckner reportedly ended a 17-minute lapse in conversation Thursday by saying “Deadwood—now that’s a great show.” “What made Bullock such a great character was that he had a fierce temper, but also a strong sense of justice, which could get you into all sorts of trouble in a town like Deadwood,” said Breckner, with witnesses stressing that the 53-year-old cut into the lengthy lull around the dinner table to express his enthusiasm for the Western, which ran from 2004 to 2006, despite it lacking any apparent connection to a recent topic of discussion. 

Forwards is back; 'tis all the same. God will find all, as easy over a card table as swinging from a tree.

roman: oh yeah let’s celebrate kendall’s dick finally falling off from all the coke and now he can apparently only fuck other weird-looking lesbians.

connor: there’s nothing wrong with being a weird-looking lesbian. in fact, some forecasters are saying that after the climate collapse—

shiv: okay but they’re obviously not a lesbian if they’re dating kendall. right? it’s very possible to be non-binary and also attracted to men.

roman: oh fuck off with your little love is love pussy-eating hats whatever the fuck. did you learn that from rupaul?

shiv: rupaul? seriously? is that the one gay person you can think of? rupaul?

roman: i can think of another. your husband.

tom, laughing uncomfortably: sorry to disappoint, roman, but i am in deep unquenchable lust for my wife, who happens to be a beautiful woman.

(after an awkward silence, jokingly) but i do identify as ‘metrosexual,’ right, kendall?

kendall, extremely high: what the fuck are you guys even fucking talking about