Pink Butterfly Migration is a blog dedicated to my thoughts on gender, especially in relationship to being female. A diary of my thoughts. Class, race, and disability may also be mentioned but it is not the focus.
Here's a little bit about me:
Am I a radfem? Not sure. I agree with most of the things they say regarding sex oppression, and ideals about being pro abortion, anti pornagraphy, anti prostitution, etc. I question my stance on the idea of "transgender," not because I think gender is innate and that female = woman and man = male, but because I think gender ISN'T innate. In fact, I don't even think I believe in it as a natural, biological/psychological concept. I guess "gender critical" is a good way to describe me. I'm still learning about radical feminism, and because I take feminism as a movement seriously, I'm not going to just slap the label onto myself because of surface level agreement.
I'm same sex attracted (bi but uninterested in men), in my 20s, and I was involved in the wider queer movement and queer ideology for about a decade, becoming involved as a child. I am interested in the gender critical and wider LGB movement and learning more, and documenting my thoughts along the way.
I'm looking to learn from everyone, especially other female people, women, and also other transmascs (as I identified that way for a few years) but anyone is welcome to have discussions with me or give their input. On the topic, I should put emphasis on DISCUSSION. If you use slurs towards me, use personal insults, intentionally argue in bad faith in a way that is obvious, or anything else stupid I'm gonna delete your comment and block you. If you do that to someone in my replies under my posts, I may or may not do that depending on the severity and if I think the person on the other end would want that. It's up to my feelings in that moment.
Anons are on, submissions welcome. Stories and anecdotes, sources, corrections, etc are welcome. Anon hate that's thoughtless will be immediately deleted, but if you seem genuinely curious I'll be more than happy to engage :)
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i wish i could act unbothered when i see the term "pregnant person" but i literally can't.
i think trying to use sex neutral language is admirable on some level to make us all feel equal to one another, but when you use the term pregnant person when talking about the risk of violence and abuse during pregnancy, it's literally about women who are murdered or beaten by their male partners.
Gen Z and are so funny to me (another gen z) because they're like "we are against CAPITALISM ! we are the rebel generation !" but they'll defend porn (a capitalist industry based on the exploitation of women), prostitution (a capitalist industry based on the exploitation of women), makeup (a capitalist industry based on women's insecurities and sexist beauty standards), cosmetic surgery (a capitalist industry based on women's insecurities and sexist beauty standards), transition surgery (a capitalist industry based on using the issues of dysphoric and gender non conforming people to make money), fashion industry (a capitalist industry based on the exploitation of thousands of people and that's harmful for the planet) and like thousands of other capitalist shits. it isn't an anti capitalism generation. it's a very pro capitalism generation. they just use all these capitalist things (porn, prostitution, makeup, surgeries, fashion) to paint an anti capitalism aesthetic, an illusion, a look (based on their appearance, their content on social medias) to look anti capitalists, but they are not. if they were, they wouldn't think it's okay to traffick, exploit and sell women as objects, they wouldn't think it's okay to maintain and spread sexist beauty standards to push women to buy your products/surgeries because now they feel insecure about their face and body, they wouldn't keep supporting and industry that exploits other people and hurts their planet, they wouldn't support an ideology that tells you to alter your body by selling you lies about how you are born in the wRoNg one and need to pay to be your true self.
it's an aesthetic for them, they want to look cool and rebel and revolutionnary, but they support capitalism. and misogyny. (but but but it's EMPOWERING)
Yup, a LOT of Gen Z kids have drunk the capitalist Kool-Aid. I didn't think it could get worse than my generation (Elder Millennial here). Like, now you can BUY a gender identity, it's absurd.
It's a shame your a terf. You'd be so much cooler if you were a cute lil enby like me, you could be spending your time getting kisses and cuddles and headpats from other enbies, and resisting capitalism, and sacrificing to ancient gods, and covering your body in cool tattoos and piercings, and maybe getting top surgery or nullification, and never having what society considers a real job. Instead you're stuck living the miserable life of a conformist, becoming angry at those more free then you are.
“It’s a shame [you’re] a [woman]. You’d be so much [more palatable] if you were [to assume a performative, trend-driven identity] like me, you could be spending your time [seeking validation] from [others], and [prioritising superficial aesthetics over meaningful action], and maybe [undergoing unnecessary, invasive medical procedures to disassociate from the reality of being female], and never having [financial independence]. Instead you’re stuck living the miserable life of [an adult], becoming angry at those [who choose to live in fantasy].”
This post by @radfem-alt-clothes reminds me of this thing where sometimes people will tell me "TERFs just hate anyone who's ugly" (TERF being effectively a catchall for anyone who's GC especially if they're female ofc, as always) or just implying we "hate" transfems because "we think they're ugly." For starters, most radfems and radleaning and GC people in general literally do not hate transfems. Hating gender doesn't mean hating those that identify with it, especially those trying to escape by identifying and whatnot, and also wanting marginalized people to have spaces isn't hatred either. Yes, there's a section of radfems that literally do hate all transfems, but also there's sections of every group that hate groups. There's a section of Christians that hate all muslims, there's a section of straight women that literally do hate all lesbians, etc etc. That's not some kind of gotcha on it's own IMO, especially using Tumblr as a solitary source.
BUT, on the other hand of this topic, I literally do not think most transfems are ugly at all. I have dated transfems. I have found many, including ones I don't personally like, attractive. My criticism of transfems (or anything related to gender identity) has nothing to do with how they look, and I feel stupid for parroting the exact "radfems just hate transfems because they think they're ugly" shit when I was younger because now that I think about it for more than two seconds it's untrue on multiple levels IMO.
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Hey so since slinger's harassing minors we need to stop with the "staff needs to do something" schtick and actually report this to the proper authorities. Like this has escalated into an actual crime.
it actually is insane that cockslinger has directly told multiple people to get raped and that they themselves want to rape these people and one of them was a kid and nothing is being done. what kind of website are we even using here guys
I don't understand the whole "oh you have to fight super hard to transition" thing being framed as a worldwide standard rather than a nation by nation or state by state basis. Where I live, the only thing that stood in my way was money, that's it. There were places willing to give me hormones for an upcharge if I didn't get my insurance to cover it, and there was a nearby (actually, multiple, but I had a favorite option) surgeon who was completely ready to do (very cheap actually, compared to a lot of other options) top surgery with just "informed consent," which mostly just consisted of being over 18. Which yes, money is definitely a barrier and a valid one at that, but the idea that everywhere you need a million forms of paperwork and it takes years and years and a lot of therapy to just start your transition literally isn't true for some places and IDK I think those places and those circumstances are worth mentioning and talking about.
The problem with giving advice to angry and suffering people is that rather frequently the thing they need to know to improve their position is the last thing they want to hear and not something they have the capacity to internalize or accept
Unfortunate truths you can tell people that would help if they could hear what it means and not just what it sounds like
You were the victim, and it wasn’t fair, but it’s over now. Nobody came to save you, and I’m sorry, but it’s too late for anyone to go back and do it different.
You’re suffering over something that cannot be resolved. You’re allowed to feel angry, or outraged, or betrayed, but there will eventually come a time that you don’t feel that so violently anymore, and you’re going to want to have something good left to go back to.
You can’t make anyone love you the way you need to be loved. That’s how a lot of good things end. Not with a clear sign, something blocking the road that says “do not proceed”, just a splitting of the path that’s still moving somewhat in the same direction.
You can’t fix them. Nothing you can do will fix them. And if they fix themselves, they can’t do it for you- they have to do it for themselves as well, because otherwise a day may come when they’re alone, and as long as they live, they are their only true constant. So you can support, and you can encourage, but the hardest part is up to them. And sometimes they can’t do it even with your help.
Sometimes letting go of someone feels like mourning at their funeral before they’ve died, and every time you see them after it’s like talking to a ghost that doesn’t know it’s dead. Sometimes that happens. You’ll both still wake up tomorrow anyways.
I understand that you’re afraid, and that you’re afraid for good reasons. And I understand that being brave isn’t as easy as just turning that fear off, and you would if you could in a heartbeat. But the thing is, as long as that fear is able to dictate your choices, it will have power over you. If you don’t believe you can try to fight it, if you accept that it will always be in charge, you let the frightening thing stay present in your life. It will exist as long as you stay paralyzed. And that sounds cruel, but it isn’t something anyone can fix for you.
The person you may let yourself become after experiencing the terrible thing may very well grow into a much bigger, much more terrible thing, and someday it will swallow the first terrible thing whole. And all that will be left is something far worse for someone else. And you will not be able to shrink it down by explaining where it came from, because terrible things that are dead and gone are never as terrible as terrible things that are alive right now in front of you.
No matter how much or how little I love you, I still do not have the ability to help you the way you need to be helped. I might be the helper you want, but I am not a helper you can get. If you are to be helped at all, you will need to accept that it will come from someone else.
"How much it warps my self image" you fragile little peanut you're fantasising about shooting someone who used accurate pronouns
Your self image is fucked alright but it has NOTHING to do with the people around you and EVERYTHING to do with you crashing out when you are unable to consistently control the perception other people have of your female form.
Stop trying to control how others percieve you, accept being a masculine woman, and grow the fuck up.
Misgendering literally IS an accident a lot of the time. I'm guilty of it by mistake myself. Most trans people literally just do not pass well enough to trick the natural human ability to pick out the sexes. Trans people are always going on about "less than 1-2% of the population!" which is true! But a consequence of that is that sometimes, most of the time, people won't be thinking about you as a group. Some people DO do it on purpose but some also don't..
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Adding it this way because I'm not directly giving this person the reblogs that they want.
It is never just sex, and sexual assault in porn cannot be separated from nuclear bombings, nor can it be separated from war (even in film, because i suppose that only happens in movies) when real people are assaulted daily in real life wars.
Jan Villarubia: "I was given drugs and alcohol before being filmed and then porn producers would record me saying that I was NOT under the influence of any drugs or alcohol prior to filming.
I gladly accepted the drugs and alcohol because I didn't want to feel the pain of penetration from an over-sized man or from being told to hold poses for still camera shots while being penetrated and choked."
Aaron Crowley: “There came a point where [my talent manager] unzipped his pants and pulled out his penis and sat in a chair and said, ‘If you want to be a part of this industry, this is a part of it.’
And what he was doing there was basically seeing if I would be comfortable with exactly what was gonna happen to me in porn, where I was no longer in control of my body. Was I going to submit and do what I was told? Was I going to acquiesce to the demands of the producers and everyone else on set?
That’s sexual assault. But because it’s porn and because sex is the nature of the industry, sexual assault is the nature of the industry. It’s normal. This is exactly what goes on. He was right there, saying sexual assault is a part of this industry.”
Felicity Feline: “I worked for a site called Facial Abuse…it’s basically a site that is extremely degrading and rough. It promotes explicit, horrible acts onto women…mainly to vomit…and be called names and to do really awful things on camera…I was 21 years old and confused so I agreed to do it.
I wish more than anything that I never shot for that company.
So the scene starts off with an interview type of thing…They start asking me questions like have you ever been molested as a child or touched by family members? They start asking these weird questions to dig for information that they can use against me… They wanted to break me.
c: exoduscry
A snippet from Aurora Snow's interview with The Daily Beast, that shines a light on the real abuse and real exploitation in the industry.
" But stopping was not in her contract. Snow says someone grabbed her and tried to forcefully penetrate her anally with one of the approved devices, but she did not consent to extras utilizing them. She dodged him just in time and yelled at him, but he laughed at her.
“He was laughing like I was a joke, saying things like ‘But you’re Aurora Snow, you can take it.’ But I could not take it. I was shattered—my nerves so frayed I was entirely unable to explain how what I consented to turned into something I never imagined.”
Snow said she was not in a scene she agreed to. No one came to her defense. The cameras kept rolling."
"For example, one study found that 1 out of every 8 porn titles shown to first-time users on porn home pages described acts of sexual violence. And according to studies analyzing the content of porn videos themselves, it’s estimated that as few as 1 in 3 porn videos (33.9%) and as many as 9 in 10 videos (88.2%) show acts of physical aggression or violence, while 48.7%—about half—contain verbal aggression. These studies also found that despite the levels of violence and aggression, the targets were almost always portrayed as responding with pleasure or neutrality."
"But that’s not all. This study from 2011 found that women are more likely to watch porn—especially the more hardcore categories—when they have suffered sexual assaults and psychological violence at the hands of their families. Just read this personal account, and this personal account to see personal experiences that back this up. Also, not surprisingly, more research has shown time and time again that there is a direct connection between pornography and sexual assault."
Fight The New Drug
Lastly, comparing fetishized sexual assault to war is not only tone deaf, but disingenuous at worst and ignorant at best. There are thousands, maybe even millions of testimonials from the families of women and little girls who have been raped during real life wars, and from the women and little girls themselves. There are testimonials directly from the men who have committed these sexual assaults, who are proud of it, who keep photos and diary entries as trophies.
c: wikipedia
"Rape, among other acts of wartime sexual violence, was frequently committed against female Vietnamese civilians during the Vietnam War. It was an aspect of the various human rights abuses perpetrated by the United States and South Korea, as well as by local Vietnamese combatants. According to American political scientist Elisabeth Jean Wood, the sexual violation of women by American military personnel was tolerated by their commanders. American professor Gina Marie Weaver stated that not only were documented crimes against Vietnamese women by American soldiers ignored during the international legal discourse that occurred immediately after the conflict, but modern feminists and other anti-war rape campaigners, as well as historians, have continued to dismiss them."
c: wikipedia
"Comfort women were women and girls forced into sexual slavery by the Imperial Japanese Armed Forces in occupied countries and territories before and during World War II. The term comfort women is a translation of the Japanese ianfu (慰安婦),[6] a euphemism that literally means "comforting, consoling woman". During World War II, Japanese troops forced hundreds of thousands of women from Australia, Burma, China, the Netherlands, the Philippines, Japan, Korea, Indonesia, East Timor, New Guinea and other countries into sexual enslavement for Japanese soldiers; however, the majority of the women were from Korea."
Here are some testimonies from the last survivors of the Nanjing Massacre in 1937. The Nanjing Massacre was led by the Japanese military during the second Sino-Japanese war, who invaded Nanjing, China and engaged in a campaign of mass killing and mass rapes.
Well, for one, Superman is not real. Godzilla is not real. Real people are incapable of having superpowers, and giant lizards that destroy entire cities do not exist.
Nobody died in the creation of Fight Club, nobody died in the creation of Friday the 13th or Terrifier (though there are other criticisms about movies like these, such as the exploitation of women). Real life people are raped in pornos. Real life people are raped outside of pornos, in war, in back alleys, in breakrooms at work, and in their own bedrooms by people that they know.
This isn't a conversation about fiction vs reality, this is a conversation about real life people being raped on camera, footage of those rapes being sold and spread across the internet, and real life people being raped yet again because it is now profitable. Real life people will get raped because someone has seen these videos, and now believes that it is okay to do.
It's a shame your a terf. You'd be so much cooler if you were a cute lil enby like me, you could be spending your time getting kisses and cuddles and headpats from other enbies, and resisting capitalism, and sacrificing to ancient gods, and covering your body in cool tattoos and piercings, and maybe getting top surgery or nullification. Instead you're stuck living the miserable life of a conformist, becoming angry at those more free then you are.
Gender does not make you free. Gender is a social construct that oppresses people and puts them into boxes. I used to identify as trans and it was exhausting I was constantly questioning my gender, my expression my pronouns what j was wearing, if I was valid enough etc. Now I wear whatever the fuck I want because you can be a women and wear whatever, be whoever.
It's a shame your a terf. You'd be so much cooler if you were a cute lil enby like me, you could be spending your time getting kisses and cuddles and headpats from other enbies, and resisting capitalism, and sacrificing to ancient gods, and covering your body in cool tattoos and piercings, and maybe getting top surgery or nullification, and never having what society considers a real job. Instead you're stuck living the miserable life of a conformist, becoming angry at those more free then you are.
I thought it was a bit until I checked the profile. The proship enby who talks to women like they're pets and didn't even read my pinned thinks I'd be happier like them. Oh I'm sure.
Do any radfems want to talk about neo/xeno pronouns and other weird gender stuff like that? More specifically, what is the issue with it? I know a lot of radfems have issues with it, (as well as gender critical people in general so feel free to comment even if you're not a radfem) and I'm not sure how to feel on it. I have plenty of people for it in my life, but I'm wondering what those strongly against it think.
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