rare and sweet as cherry wine

AITA i have been attacking and killing all humans from the moment i was born

the problem with personality tests and other similar quizzes is that they assume you know things about yourself. Which is simply not true

every time my hair is greasy it’s like you might as well just take me out back and shoot me honestly

could I interest you in intertwining your soul with mine for the rest of eternity?

“why do you rb and add to your own posts” i’m talking to myself

I would love to unclench my jaw one day

The thing about how you will talk like a tumblr user for the rest of your life is that usually people won’t clock it but sometimes you’ll meet someone and you’ll actually be able to see a look of painful recognition in their eyes when you say some tumblypoo bullshit while everyone else just thinks you had an epic original thought. And it’s gonna make you a little bit sorry you were born

getting new followers and especially a new mutual is so scary i gotta hit reblog extra good for a bit as to not scare them off

sorry im not giving into the cutting out sweet treats propaganda. life is hard enough

sometimes an american will be talking to you and they start throwing around numbers like 70 or 90 when talking about the weather and you just have to smile and nod

whenever I confess to people that i feel like I am just roleplaying as a normal person they're always like noooo you don't strike me as someone who's roleplaying as a normal person at all!!! :) and every time internally im like well yes that's because I am excellent at it

no bc if there is a god he really will have to beg for my forgiveness 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂