PhoenixIsAZebra's Blog, Art, and Writing

How our purchases have the potential to fund destruction. Watch until the end.

Boycott to save Palestine.

Humans are only capable of projecting their own selves which means every single thought and perception we have is a reflection of ourselves. Without fully realizing how true this is, I was not taking accountability for my life in the ways I understand I was lacking now. Taking accountability for my shame, guilt, anger, sadness, or any other thing that was causing me to keep repeating the cycles of true despair and isolation in my life is inevitably what has been setting me free.

Life completely changes when you can just be honest with yourself and be who you are to the best of your ability in every moment you have with Love being the guiding force behind everything. Love allows for compassion, understanding, empathy, kindness, patience, forgiveness, grace, and what truly connects us all on a universal core level.

I am mentally ill, physically disabled, have a lot of trauma, and my life is a mess in so many ways but I accept who I am in every form I may be. When I can do this with myself, it allows me to do this with others and form true connections with the life around me no matter what condition I may be in and ultimately, this allows others to have more authentic relationships with themselves and others too as it is modeled as being safe to do so.

This is how I am healing.

I don't know what, if any, kind of expectations you have but I know I'm not the kind of person people keep around because they actually want to spend time with me.

I'm a broken human that can't even always offer sex.

I know you've been ok with that not happening, so I know that's not the only reason you invite me back. I just ask myself what I'm doing sometimes.

I don't think I know who I am anymore a lot of the time, except for a list of problems.

When I moved in with one of my best friends this past winter, it was hard to see all of the garden decorations that had been left behind by the previous owner of the house due to all of the snow on the ground and how faded they had become from many years in the sun. As the snow began to melt, the treasures began to appear and they became my muse for creative inspiration.

This wooden bird house had a green and brown faded metal roof, peeling and chipping natural wood throughout, and no color aside from the faded metal embellishments on the front. I used acrylic paint for color and modge podge to seal and will likely get some UV resistant weather sealer as well for extra protection.

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"Rippled Moonlight" Made using Procreate on iPad. 😊

Considering my name is PhoenixIsAZebra, I figured I would explain what the significance of the zebra is to me and why I have them all over the place since I've been asked a number of times in my life now. 😆 I copied and pasted this from the Ehler's Danlos Society's website since they say really do say it best:

Why the zebra?

People with the Ehlers-Danlos syndromes (EDS) and hypermobility spectrum disorders (HSD) often identify themselves as zebras.

Medical students have been taught for decades that, “When you hear hoofbeats behind you, don’t expect to see a zebra.” In other words, look for the more common and usual, not the surprising, diagnosis.

People with rare and chronic diseases spend years searching for answers:

“But you look normal”

“You’re too young to have so many problems”

“You’re too old”

“You can’t have that, it’s too rare”

“No one knows what that is”

The zebra became our symbol because those with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and hypermobility spectrum disorder are the unexpected. “Sometimes when you hear hoofbeats, it really is a zebra.”

When you see a zebra, you know it’s a zebra—but no two zebras have identical stripes just as no two people with an Ehlers-Danlos syndrome or HSD are identical [and] we have different symptoms, different types, and different experiences."

So there you have it! As someone who suffers from Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and a vast number of comorbidities, that is why this Phoenix is a Zebra!

Zebra hand drawn by Phoenix on iPad app, Procreate.