Another hilarious thing I feel we should talk about more is the fact that *film* Aragorn and Arwen break up right before Aragorn leaves Rivendell……. meaning that film!Aragorn spends most of the quest in an “oh my god my relationship of 50 years just ended what do I even do with myself????” depression haze.
It explains so much…..
Like. Externally Aragorn is on an epic quest to save Middle Earth, internally he’s crying on the couch in his sweatpants eating a tub of the Middle-Earth equivalent of Ben and Jerry’s
Legolas: Aragorn?
Aragorn: Arwen used to call me Aragorn…..
Legolas: Because it’s your fucking name
To be clear I actually love the film’s version of Aragorn/Arwen’s relationship, there’s a lot of Dramatic Potential/ angsty meta you could write on it, but–.
BUT
It’s also like– you think Aragorn has to put up with Legolas and Gimli’s annoying romance antics? Legolas and Gimli have to deal with Aragorn spending half the quest staring wistfully into the distance and sighing dramatically about What Can Never Be™…with how often he sings the Lay of Luthien, basically the Middle Earth equivalent of Adele’s Someone Like You….
Gimli: You haven’t washed your hair in MONTHS. We’re staging an intervention.
Aragorn (lying flat on the ground with his face in the dirt): aweralwkerjwae
Legolas: You’re only 87– you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You can find love a second time!
Aragorn: I did. Boromir died.
Legolas: Maybe three is your lucky number!
#for me film Legolas’ main character trait#is that he’s incapable of reading the room (tags via @overthinkinglotr)
Aragorn, any time he gets a moment to himself during the quest:
Gimli: This lovely Rhohirrim woman is clearly into you. She’s a fighter. You’re a fighter. She loves horses. You love horses (also you smell like one). Give her a chance!
Aragorn: *flashbacks to him and Arwen making out in Imladris while the elvish version of “when somebody loved me” plays in the background.
He literally did this. (and then imagined Arwen kissing him before getting woken up by his horse)
At least he managed to wash himself AND his hair
