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@notyourdeliveryservice

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T shirt that says âI â¤ď¸ getting laidâ & then on the back it says âto RESTâ with a photo of a coffin + the name & phone number for a local cemetery. Please follow for more advertising ideas
I saw a lady today holding a kitten really high up so artistic rendition of it because it made my day. The lil guy was just okay with it
boring dot com forward slash bullshit

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The tailors at Colonial Williamsburg made a suit for their cat
The best part is that they were inspired by a diary entry from 1775, written by a 12 year old tailorâs apprentice who had been left unsupervised all day and decided to make a suit for a cat. Hereâs a link to the blog post about it, but Iâll just paste the whole diary entry here:
âI had been at work about two months when Christmas came on â and here I must relate a little anecdote. The principal [the tailor] and his lady were invited to a party among their friendsâŚwhile it devolved on me to stay at home and keep house. There was nothing left me in charge to do, only to take care of the house. There was a large cat that generally lay about the fire. In order to try my mechanical powers, I concluded to make a suit of clothing for puss, and for my purpose gathered some scraps of cloth that lay about the shop-board, and went to work as hard as I could. Late in the evening I got my suit of clothes finished; I caught the cat, put on the whole suit â coat, vest, and small-clothes [breeches] â buttoned all on tight, and set down my cat to inspect the fit.Â
âUnfortunately for me there was a hole through the floor close to the fireplace, just large enough for the cat to pass down; after making some efforts to get rid of the clothes, and failing, pussy descended through the hole and disappeared; the floor was tight and the house underpinned with brick, so there was no chance of pursuit. I consoled myself with a hope that the cat would extricate itself from its incumbrance, but not so; night came and I had made on a good fire and seated myself for some two or three hours after dark, when who should make their appearance but my master and mistress and two young men, all in good humor, with two or three bottles of rum. After all were seated around the fire, who should appear amongst us but the cat in his uniform. I was struck speechless, the secret was out and had no chance of concealing; the cat was caught, the whole work inspected and the question asked, is this your dayâs work? I was obliged to answer in the affirmative; I would then have been willing to take a good whipping, and let it stop there, but no, to complete my mortification the clothes were carefully taken off the cat and hung up in the shop for the inspection of all customers that came in.â
âI was hoping theyâd beat me and forget about it but to my horror they stuck my work up on the fridgeâ
Not just any fridge-
The public fridge
Your future self will guide you through this.
This was definitely worth drawing
I just ate one
You can lie when you name things

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I can tell you donât have one
whatever it is i actually have three
realised this was meant to be transphobic and i didnt wven know
@i-like-reblog-maps I heard you like large maps ^â _â ^
what the fuck
that thing is eldritch
acquired a dark mode version just to see what itâd look like. oh my god. this map is gorgeous
i have never seen a hub that large. iâm?? stunned
Didn't realise it was a reblog map at first,thought somebody was drawing the visual effect that accompanies casting Testicular Torsion.
âToymakerâ as a job description in fairy tale fiction is one of my favourite bullshit occupations. âDollmakerâ is fine, âcarpenter who makes wooden toys as a side hustle between jobsâ is fine, but so many stories have a character whose entire occupation is described as âtoymakerâ and is heavily implied if not explicitly confirmed to have made all of the toys in their shop, from wood boats to plush animals to porcelain dolls to music boxes to tin soldiers, all made under the tiny hammer of one person.
And itâs not impossible for one person to be at once a highly talented seamstress and tinsmith and carpenter and clockwork engineer and every other talent in the world that would allow you to build everything from china dolls to rocking horses, but to be all that and then single-handedly supply the whole stock of an entire toy store? In a rural whimsical little fairy tale village?? By themselves???
#toymakers are in many ways the van helsings of whimsy. (via @mordredsheart)
imagine a park bench underneath

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Letâs all actually do this
posted in 2015 and then every single world event for the next 11 years has just felt like this exactly
letâs all stop doing this now
Ok, pit time is over, time to go home
why are you not filipino
I'm not sure of the steps to take