just a city queer

High key the nut vids use to be crazier. Wjht happened?

Nobodys busting hard no more

He’s got a point here, you just don’t see it anymore.

can you not play with his nasty ass corpse please.

In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter

@theoutcastrogue

People always focus on the "lockpicking" part of his name and ignore that the lockpicking lawyer is, indeed, a lawyer, and can tell you exactly which crimes you committed in getting this lock to him

your 20s are about elves, your 30s are about continued meditations on the elf

once you hit your 40s it's time to find an elf

Fuck I hate elves god damm it

you've got 2 years left of that but then you have to make some changes

the urge to write is like a cat meowing for dear life for someone to open the goddamn door, who then shows utter disinterest in said open door

@putting-swears-back-in-images

it is funny to hear that wikipedia is apparently losing site visits to AI because let me tell you wikipedia is not losing site visits from me I am all up in that bitch 24/7 I am reading her down like an enemy I am on wikipedia like white on rice

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

I don’t understand why people who cannot accept any moral grayness or complexity decide to join fandoms for the most emotionally complex stories and then try to shame everyone there who actually is able to understand the material.

louis du pointe du lac if he was born in the 90s: it was the two thousands... a new age, not only on the calendar, but across the ramshackle collage of fields and mountains and strip malls we somehow had the gumption to call a country. the era of the glossy Seventeen magazine, pilfered from a friend's older sister, the secrets of a womanhood we could only imagine grasping spilling out from its pages in a private, sordid puddle that we wished desperately to drown in. the siren call of claire's, a klaxon of childish hedonism, luring us with its gauche, sparkling fuschias and and royal purples and ever-present ocean deep ceruleans... an era of bedazzlement, not only on our clothes but on our TV screens, our magazines, the pulsating paisleys of the deLiA's catalogue promising us a future where a beaded curtain could bring a touch of Bohemian mystery to our banal, suburban homes...

For years, sci-fi has asked, what if aliens were wetter than us. Project Hail Mary posits a new, daring question. What if we are the wet aliens