WanWan

I want die feeling like I meant something, to anyone.

I want to die knowing that even after I pass, this field will thrive off of me and become more beautiful and vibrant.

Maybe if I grow a couple inches, people will see me less like a brat and more like a threat!!

Credits to OP on TikTok

You guys see the way that when MARI comes on screen, the light in his eyes move with her?!

Do you know what I’m about to say?!

…

Our Wanderer has a slight British accent when angry…

Where did it come from? Haha I don’t know. Perhaps Victorian children?

Anyways, I want him to stop yelling at me. He’s Lucky I’m so docile, otherwise, I’d be triggering the things I know about you right now.

…This is fine.

I shouldn’t even be here. If I were back, simply asking me to do useless, mundane chores like “washing dishes” would’ve gotten you slapped across the face?!

So why do you ask me?! I should have the right to slap you until you bleed and until you beg me to stop!

Good song. I wish I could say the same thing with the same confidence. I’d be lying about most of it, but at least I have the confidence

—🎮🍕, He/It

CLICK ME <- links to a private post on the account, if it doesn’t work, let me know. I’ll either cry or have to fix it. Probably both.

Partially trained internal handler… we discovered him and he took on a form. Okay, cool!

It’s been a lil bit since we found him and?? He doesn’t do the handling???

Genuinely, despite the fact he complains of headaches/dizziness/nausea and sometimes hallucinations when he refuses to do the role, he just doesn’t???

Says that he has better things to do than to babysit a bunch of traumatized teens ??!!

I mean, yay! One less handler!

But also?! Is this just… a thing? Are you allowed to do that? Is this just?? Okay???? 😭 I’m so???

Like genuinely, I’m confused? Is this just allowed and he can get away with this for sure ?!

Answering both in one post, hopefully that’s fine with you, anon. Just to not spam the account with posts .

The music I usually listen to varies. I have a similar music taste to a lot of the other headmates. I’d say indie pop / Japanese shoegaze / Japanese indie alt are my top three right now.

I’ll link some songs below under the cut, ones that I enjoy personally.

And I appreciate you trying to relate. I’m glad that I can provide that sense of relatability for you. My memories still are really scattered so I honestly don’t remember exactly why we lost contact.

Even though I speak about her the way I do… we all know deep down inside, she’s probably gone. Especially living where we used to and being so young.

Not to get sad or anything, I just suppose me being delusional is better than me spiraling in my own depression, right?

I monster mentioned! I love a lot of their songs, I enjoy “Lust for a vampyr” the most! Who is she is also a pretty good song, I’m surprised it reminds you of me though. I’m curious about the thought process behind it?

I listened to the song you suggested before, it’s good. Adding it to my playlist, I like the ladies’ voice. Something about it gives… “to kill a mockingbird”. Maybe that’s just me, but I get that vibe.

And I’ll be listening to the two you just suggested as well. Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to respond and share some of your songs.

I genuinely don’t think I can do anything right.

I keep forgetting what I went through was abnormal. Weird. Illegal.

None of it was NORMAL so when I talk about it, people look at me like I’m crazy. And that’s just the worst. I hate feeling like the outcasted freak. That’s not supposed to be my role and somehow, here I am.

I genuinely don’t understand.

I can logically understand that death, murder, cannibalism, all of it is morally taboo.

But shit, that was my everyday, man. What the hell?

Maybe I’m a freak.

I should

I should just go back to the cult. I know it’s a bad thought but they’ll be the only ones to accept me, I know that.

They trained me so I would never be accepted by normal people. Normal society. Even though I long for it, I’m not normal. I never will be.

If normal is what I want to be, I’ll never get it. Not unless I’m with them.