do you know how I can adopt cooper out of twin peaks the return

Cas was raised in a white room with only. Saltine crackers for thousands of years and then he was let loose on the. World discovering he was not. Only autistic but gay and his only. Point of reference for human behavior was dean winchester oh my god I’d be so mad. castiel was born in an AirPod case yesterday and his sister was going fall from heaven! Do it! You can kiss men if only you spurn everything you’ve ever known! And everyone he knew was calling her a traitorous wretch. Except for dean winchester who slept with her. AND then dean licked his lips called them thelma and Louise then sauntered directly into cas whil e he squinted into the middle distance trying to figure out what the hell that meant because he’s never seen a movie or experienced desire . So he has to decode dean winchester sentences of ALL things. While figuring out that hes gay and autistic. Dean winchester. Hammers. Now.

We need to recentre the Scott Hunter virginity hoax because I'm now thinking about the amount of proposals he would have been getting in his DMs and through actual mail that his agent had to sort through and the amount of Christian housewives who told their daughters they needed to find a "nice boy like Scott Hunter", who does charity and is waiting for marriage, while secretly flicking their bean to his ad shoots after their husband failed to find the clit for the 20th year running, and the deep sense of betrayal these women would feel when they find out that he is not the Lord-loving-boy he claimed to be and is, in fact, engaging in sodomy (gasp)

In like 2013 or so, word gets out that Scott Hunter is a virgin and he’s waiting for marriage (this is absolutely not true, it’s a rumor he started to explain why he isn’t having sex) and a week later Ilya Rozanov (an established womanizer) tells the press that he’s also a virgin, and won’t someone take pity on him and take him to bed? And then he winks at the camera. And then he texts Shane a link to this clip on YouTube

thinking david corenswet is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles dark hair and blue eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think superman is hot? fucking superman? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god he’s tall should we tell everyone he’s tall and his jaw is nice wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SUPERMAN is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. “hear me out” and it’s a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed

oh my god just found out this is from a j2 fic

it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That

They put drugs in this show, and this edit is the closest I've come to being able to snort it like cocaine. Excluding binging the entire show in 6 hours after first turning on episode one to see what all the fuss was about.

what if orpheus looked back at eurydice and then orpheus got fucking decked to the ground because they were playing a hockey game and you have to look where you’re going