Because I need a little fun in my life

Shane x Ilya

But let him lie awake at night staring at the ceiling, wondering what Hydra is doing to Bucky right now, a pit forming in his gut because he knows just how powerless he is to stop it.

Let Howard Stark invite him over to hold baby Tony for the first time. Let him hold that peaceful little bundle, and let him count down the days. Every breath, milestone, birthday, until that baby inevitably sacrifices himself.

Let him have some days where he can't even look his own wife and children in the face. Where he feels like a bird smashing around in his cage, wanting to claw out of his own skin because that itch to fight is still there. Primal. The kid from Brooklyn he took out back and killed is haunting him as a ghost and won't lay to rest.

Let him be a firefighter, his only relief. He needs to throw himself straight into the flames, he's gasping for air but its the only time since he came back he can truly breathe because he actually feels like himself again. Not someone's husband or father, but Steve Rogers. Fighter for the little guy.

Golden hour ☀️

I've talked about this in tags but I need it to be a full post. There's something about Ilya wearing long sleeves here that kills me. I love that Shane is in a cozy hoodie, too, but it doesn't grab my attention as much because he's not dressed that differently from his usual wardrobe.

But Ilya? He's constantly showing off his body whenever he has the chance. This man is allergic to sleeves. He usually rips his shirt off at the first opportunity.

Ilya's usual wardrobe (or sometimes lack thereof lol) reflects the way he views his body as a commodity, like it's the only thing he has to offer, so he's constantly showing it off.

But then we have this beautiful montage showing the ways that Shane and Ilya have slotted into each other's lives in a pretty regular routine. It's a hot montage, but it's also creeping toward a feeling of domesticity, especially in this moment.

Wearing this shirt to a hookup shows that Ilya has reached a new level of comfort with Shane. He doesn't feel the same pressure to play the seduction game. Shane is going to kiss him the same way regardless of what he's wearing.

That plus the fact that Shane is taking control and pushing Ilya against the glass. Ilya's whole demeanor reflects the way he feels comfortable and taken care of in this moment and it does something particular to my heart.

I don't think Ilya is consciously thinking about why he dresses all comfy cozy for this hookup. He still has a while before he internalizes the truth that Shane wants him just as he is. But Ilya also tends to act based on feeling before he fully understands the subconscious behind those actions.