[“When a change happens in one area of a system, other areas in the system have to adapt by changing in some way. Before an exile is unburdened, the internal system is kept in balance with managers and firefighters protecting the system and person from the pains of the exile. After unburdening occurs and the exile is transformed, the roles of protectors aren’t necessary in the same way. Just as the exile takes on a new role in the system, protectors can do the same.
A new type of balance is created through integration. The system needs to reorganize to accommodate new roles for parts. Integration occurs by bringing all the parts that were involved in the unburdening process to come and see the transformation of the newly unburdened part. The part that was once called an exile is now simply a part of the system. It is no longer referred to as an exile because it is no longer burdened and hidden away. The protectors of this part, the parts that expressed concerns or fears about Self connecting with the exile, and parts that had to unblend in order for the healing work to proceed are all called together to observe the changes in the unburdened part. This is done to see if these parts have any concerns about the transformation. Most often parts are accepting of the change. They may express surprise that the healing process worked, especially those parts that were skeptical. Protectors may share their concerns about their role now that it is apparent that their previous job is no longer necessary, or they may be concerned that the change won’t last. As part of the integration process, Self will address the protectors’ concerns. When the concerns of protectors are adequately addressed, protectors are invited to take on new roles within the system.
The integration of changes in the internal system will translate to change in the external world, as the person will be less reactive to people and situations that previously caused activation or a trigger response. This happens because the part that was exiled is no longer seeking redemption from people and situations like their trauma experiences. Instead of looking for validation of their worthiness and lovability, they can create genuine connections because they have released their burdens and can express the innate positive qualities they were born with before they became burdened. With the changes in the formerly exiled part, protectors no longer need to respond proactively by controlling our lives to keep us safe from the pain of the exile or reactively extinguishing the pain once it’s experienced. They can embrace their natural essence and take on a role in the system that reflects who they really are. Because the role protectors take on is a type of burden also.”-]
tamala floyd, from listening when parts speak: a practical guide to healing with internal family systems therapy and ancestor wisdom, 2024
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