KILLjoys make some noise!

hand hurts from jacking off

inside thought!! inside thought!!

outside thought!!!!! outside thought!!!!! my hand is sore from jerking that thang asunder!!!!!!!!

They mean the world to me... 🥹

your attack pattern is annoying. and your soundtrack is mid

recently my elderly shattered-up phone started letting me charge it to 107% which I've been using to get let's just say a little bit extra out of it on long days

added benefit that this makes it crazy warm and soft so I use it to warm up my coat when it's cold outside

Swollen batteries are incendiary explosives.

this one's just a phone

respectfully, ma'am, phone and bomb are not mutually exclusive descriptors

I'm not gatekeeping I'm just speaking from my presently lived experience

When you start speaking from your formally lived experience, be sure to let us know!

I already live every day with undue formality and noble grace

I genuinely can't tell if you're being stupid on purpose

when you feel that way it's a sign that I'm being smart

OP your phone is literally about to explode.

we've been over this, it's just puffy and I poke it with twigs when it gets too hot

Oh god it's the shark post all over again, but this time OP COULD FUCKIN DIE OR BE MAIMED HORRIBLY

that's really not on the table

Hey, I’ve worked in IT longer than anyone else, and it’s totally fine to keep using your phone this way! This is because phones are not bombs so they can’t explode.

as someone who doesn't work in IT, I agree, which creates a consensus across the full spectrum of possible human experiences

My phone nearly exploded (the battery was so swollen I could see the inside of the phone.) you should get your phone looked at

But its a phone those don't explode

They do when the battery is swollen

you're thinking of bombs, easy mistake to make, but I addressed this earlier in the thread

OP do you have a will or any assets to even need one?

my will is frankly tremendous and I'd go as far as saying it's one of my strongest assets

You should substitute your phone insurance for health insurance

we have universal telephone insurance here so that's not strictly necessary

You know I prayed that this is just a Tohsaka Rin RP blog but it isn't and OPs phone is about to go off like a Mappa Animator.

several studios worked on fate but mappa is not one of them

outing myself in the men's restroom by washing my hands

spending $10 ten times should NEVER EVER equal $100

Looks thru a glory hole n sees a lovely meadow

i am so bewitched by yoshiki tsujinaka. imagine losing the person you’re closest to in the world, who knows you better than anyone. you literally find his dead body and feel so sick over it that you pass out for days and then you wake up and he's back. he's back and for six months you know he's not the same but you're too scared to say something. he’s dead but he’s also right next to you, living, walking, talking. still playing video games at your house and leaving his homework in your bookbag and you can't help but love him on instinct. he's the only person who's ever understood you and you want it to be enough and secretly, sometimes, it almost is. after all, he loves you, right? maybe even more than before, or different than before. but then sometimes you wake up crying from dreaming of him, or you walk into his bedroom and it's torture, the way that it's still exactly the same, and the only person you want to talk to about it died alone and scared on top of a mountain. every day is a nightmare, it feels unreal, and you can't sleep or breathe right and maybe you think you deserve it, for how twisted up you are inside–how broken. and you're the only one who knows, the only one who can grieve him, this boy that was so bright and strong and loved.

The fattest kitten at work hates humans SO MUCH. He doesn’t want to get picked up, he doesn’t want a cuddle. we’re all like, you should have thought about that before you decided to be the fattest little baby in existence. You think we’re not going to pick you up? You think we’re not going to kiss you? You’re so fat

do you have a picture of the little guy

REBLOG IF IT YOUR ACCOUNT IS A SAFE SPACE FOR SWAPPINATORS🏳️‍⚧️

Ah, Perry the platypus. I see you're wearing a deboobinator (binder), I didn't know you were a swappinator.

sure, i'll drink the pink swirly potion that released a little heart shaped cloud when you uncorked it. what's the worst that could happen

#[you slug it and nothing overt changes but now your pronouns are she/her]