The Hot Flashes Come For Us All, Eventually

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

This is my new favourite post in the world

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

The window visual did me in I’m wheezing

NO

WELP

I haven’t seen this in years and yet it is burned into my memory forever.

This is on the short list of Eternal Reblog because it’s fucking legendary.

An honourable candidate for the @hellsite-hall-of-fame

"oh I only like collecting pretty rocks" every rock is beautiful. every single one. even the grey ones. shut up

At that point I think I too would name a character Quattro Bajeena

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

please eat enough and drink enough water and get enough sleep. this is so that you have enough energy. because we need you to be writing and drawing porn on the internet

i spent $32 on this fucking bowl at the moma and at first i felt bad buying it bc it was so expensive but ive had a terrible day today and every time i look at my lil bowl im like :o) you know what. i can get through anything with this bowl by my side

World Heritage Post

formative years? aren’t they all?

Every day I get a little closer to saying fuck it and becoming an apprentice in some at risk heritage craft or profession.

#people who want a return to the mythical prior era #when women did not work #do not want women to stop working #they want them to stop getting credit and pay for it

domming is great until you hit a decision fatigue wall likeeeeee i think youre a fucking grownup and you can decide whether to cum or not on your own. be proactive for once

disturbing amount of people being like “you’re a bad domme you don’t deserve to domme” girl ur a bad comedy audience you don’t deserve to heckle get outta here

do you really think im in the middle of sex going “actually you know what? figure it out for yourself.”