Pure Imagination

Here's to every pet-related worker who has to deal with "Her name is BELLA you've seen her before just look her up." You're a real one. May you grow in power for every Bella in your system.

I don't say this to shame owners for their pets names. But please know that if you bring in your goldendoodle Bella, or your black cat named Loki, or your corgi named Ein - Please give staff some additional info to help locate your pet's information. Approximately 1/10th of that database is filled with pets who have the exact same name and breed as your animal, don't get mad if we can't find them immediately please.

Ah, Cat Stevens

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out

#this man gets uncomfortable and overwhelmed when 20 y/o college girls hit on him #but take off his glasses #put on his fedora #and this man is ready to find Atlantis in three to eight business days (via @sansakenobi​)

It’s impossible to argue with anything above.

previous tags are on point: #hat ON archeology APPLIED tits OUT

I mean honestly everything that Arab traveler said lines up with the Arctic areas, except the white hair part, I don't know where that originates from, or if it's accurate

guys, the traveler just wasnt used to blondes

He will not be exiled again

I enjoy all parts of this post. The trans leash, the confusion, the heartfelt display of affection we give to our pets. The biography, the history lesson, and the morality of keeping cats indoors are all bonuses.

wow this is too intimate to share with my close friends or family let me put this on my tumblr blog for hundreds of strangers to see

The wise man, when caught naked in public, covers not his junk but his face.

As a fine dining cook, I found work in a union workplace around a year ago. My 40 hours a week are guaranteed except for Jan/feb/mar when there’s not enough customers, I get paid almost twice what I did at any other restaurant, if I work overtime, (more than 8 hours in one day, or more than 40 in a week), I actually get overtime pay, (and it’s 1.5x my normal rate!). I get holiday pay, and in addition I get to either bank or pay out my holidays if I work those days, (either a paid day off when I want it, in addition to the holiday pay, or I get paid an add’l 8 hours at 1.5x that week). I also get two floating holidays, 4 paid random sick days, 2 paid family sick days, and 4 paid “doctor’s note” sick days, (paid out by our health insurance), as well as general allowance to take as many unpaid sick days as I want without worrying for my job security. (I’ve been told that taking multiple months off is where we start to be concerned about abuse, so if I want to do that, I can go through our leave of absence procedures instead, where I’m allowed three 2-week periods a year generally for whatever reason I want, (If my manager wants to disagree, he has to get the union president’s approval), and after that it’s up to my manager to decide if he’ll accept them). I get two weeks of paid vacation time a year, and an add’l week per year for every 5 years I work there. We get our legally mandated breaks, which, I know that sounds like a low bar, but taking anything other than a smoke break in a kitchen?!?! Unheard of! I get two 15′s and a lunch every shift! I get to sitdown and rest my legs and not get flak for it! I get a bonus at the end of the year, there’s official procedures for if my manager isn’t happy with me or wants to get rid of me, (three meetings, during which my union representative has to be present), (and getting rid of my classification doesn’t work, there’s rules for how someone ‘bumps’ other people if classifications are gotten rid of), and severance pay for when full-time employees that are downsized out of the company, there’s a pension plan, like . . . Guys, I have a 40-page handbook which details all of the rights my union has won me, and believe me, I’ve never had any of these at any prior workplace. And you know what my union dues are? $4 a paycheck. Of course I’m going to pay my union dues for all of those benefits.

i always thought of transphobia as a short hand for bigotry and not an actual phobia phobia, but this guy legit ran away from a child

People in badly written fantasy stories will usually talk about the major historical events of their world and how magic has affected the lives of everyone, but ask a person in the real world to describe the effects of WWI and the invention of the combustion engine on modern life and they’d probably couldn’t tell you.

I like your thinking

really sorry to all my followers but I’m reblogging this every time it’s on my dash

so, did I ever tell you guys about the time my roommate accidentally simulated gender dysphoria in VR?

also yes, of course I tried the game with a male character. I went straight for the mirror and it sounds silly but I was honestly awe-stricken and almost cried. Yet another “yep, definitely trans” moment.