Commence the trifle!

To answer normally. Speak normally. Smile normally. Continue conversations normally. All while your mind feels unbearably loud underneath it all.

And after a while, there can be this desperate feeling of wanting someone to finally see it. Not because you want to be dramatic or difficult, but because trying to explain intense emotional pain calmly over and over again while nobody fully understands starts becoming exhausting in its own way.

Sometimes you start thinking, “would people only realize how bad it is if I completely fell apart in front of them?”

And then immediately comes the guilt for even thinking that.

The shame.

The “am I just attention seeking?” thoughts.

But honestly, I think a lot of people only call themselves attention seeking when what they actually mean is:

“I want someone to notice I am struggling without me having to reach a breaking point first.”

And that is such a deeply human thing to want.

Human beings are not meant to carry emotional pain completely alone and silently forever. Wanting comfort does not make you manipulative. Wanting to be understood does not make you selfish.

Sometimes it just means you have been holding too much inside for too long.

And if you relate to this, I really hope you know your pain does not need to become catastrophic before it deserves care.

You do not have to prove how badly you are hurting in the most visible way possible before you are allowed softness and support.

You are already deserving of gentleness while you are still holding yourself together.

You are already worthy of someone listening before things become unbearable.

DETAILS?

by 2月// iwol2g

Instead of seeing the house as clean/not clean, it helps a lot to see cleaning as a constant upkeep of your environment. Taking care of your home, and of yourself, is a good thing!

kyoshi: sometimes some murder is OK

kuruk: just punch people that disagree with you

Roku regretted not killing Sozin specifically because it gave him the opportunity to come back and kill him, then the Air Nomads. His lack of decisive action led to a lot of tragedy, and so his advice was to make sure whatever he did, make sure it was permanent, or Ozai would come back.

Kyoshi regretted not moving sooner on the threat of Shin the Conqueror and waiting until he was at the very edge of Kyoshi Peninsula before actually doing anything. She allowed a lot of destruction on the continent because she didn't move fast enough. Her advice is to move swiftly instead of allowing Ozai more time to act.

Kuruk basically did nothing as Avatar by his own admission and basically just said that Aang had to do something, and not to back off of his responsibilities because it was hard.

Yangchen is complicated because, well, she isn't talking about one of her own regrets. She's the one trying to give the 'Violence is sometimes necessary' talk to Aang, because she's the best person to tell him his duties as Avatar have to outweigh his duties as an Airbender. Arguably she is the one telling him to murder Ozai, but personally I read that as more 'you need to do what's right for the world, and I am giving you permission to break our cultural rules to do that. Because I am the only person you can ask for absolution.'

he did not disregard any of the advice he got. in the end, Aang met the challenge head on instead of avoiding it, he acted with confidence and resolve instead of hedging his bets or being wishy washy, and he succeeded in finding a way to defeat Ozai that safeguarded the world and its peoples, gave them all the best possible chance for peace moving forward, AND did not compromise his own morals or the ethical teachings of the culture that he is the last remaining practitioner of.

because that's the part a lot of people, the other avatars included tbh, don't take into consideration enough. that Aang is not just an airbender and a monk, but the last airbender, the last monk, the last person alive who practices the culture that he was raised in. the culture that Ozai and his line intentionally wiped out, the one that Ozai continues to malign throughout their fight. Ozai says that Aang's beliefs make him weak and that weakness like that doesn't deserve to exist. to have betrayed those beliefs by killing Ozai would have served to finish Ozai's work for him.

Aang had an extra responsibility, as the survivor of a genocide and the carrier of his people's memory and legacy, that the other avatars never had. that was an experience about which that they could never advise him. they gave him advice from their own perspectives, and Aang heard that advice, took it into consideration, synthesized it with the reality of his own unique experience and position, and came to a conclusion that respected all of them at once.

HEARTACHE OF CHAOS - MARES IN THE SKY

The warmth of the sun could not reach the shadows; it wallows, knowing it cannot say "You did your best."

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