They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.
this reply deserves to be here.
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macklin celebrini has autism
we're not kids anymore.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Not today Justin
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@pandaspwnz
They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.
this reply deserves to be here.

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So, uh
Sam Neill passed away.
A lot of people know him as Dr. Grant from Jurassic Park, but Sam Neill has an incredible catalogue of film and television, stretching back to 1975 on the big screen, but he cut his teeth in university productions of Shakespearean dramas.
All this to say, Sam Neill never let himself get pigeonholed as an actor. He was an incredibly versatile actor with a plethora of roles and genres to his name.
And that's not even touching upon his interests outside of acting. He was a passionate vintner (of the Two Paddocks winery) and an outspoken environmentalist who frequently spoke out against political policy that negatively affected indigenous peoples in Australia and New Zealand.
Jurassic Park is an incredible film, and I know many people have fond memories of the original trilogy.
But Sam Neill was more than just Dr. Grant. And I think that should be remembered too.
Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Ooh coming up we should celebrate
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY
moon day is 20th July!!!
Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!
Happy moon day to all who celebrate
This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.
this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this
im never leaving this hellsite
i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone
FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

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hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset
the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years
taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult
at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)
'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65
it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age
it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.
you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.
young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!
there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big
height check. how tall are you people in my phone
I thought about just tagging this 'nuff said, but it's not.
I want to say something to all of the women under 50 on this site. Ready? You do not have to be over 50 to start taking up space.
Can I make that blink? Is that a thing Tumblr can do? Because, seriously. The sooner you believe you are allowed to take up space, the better life will be.
hey real quick can anybody help me find this image that I’ve seen before here on tumblr. it looks like this
the button doesn’t necessarily say “Elucidate the Rapture” but it does say something that’s kind of lengthy and has religious connotations. the woman pushing the button has an expression of indescribable smugness. there might be other buttons on the machine (?) she is pressing.
FOUND IT
Oh this is only the first image in the Eschatron 9000 Series
and the finale, because of the Tumblr image limit
thanks this is part of an even grander incomprehensibleness than I could have expected
I cannot believe that this is a website where you can ask “hey i think i saw a weird image once” and put a bad stick figure drawing of it and someone will be like “oh yeah that’s the first installment of a 12-part post-ironic apocalypse fever dream photoshop series” and just hand you a dozen of the most unhinged images you’ve ever seen in your life, that still have a better three act structure than most modern cinema
I dont think thats the whole photoset…. I found one more
But from what i can gather thats Crystal Thierry, also known as page73girl. Who seems to have been a model for the now defunct biggestletdown.com…
But i have no idea when the eschatron 9000 pictures were made or for that matter the original photos that were used to make it
this is far more than “random person in 2005ish creates surreal visual narrative” - let’s go deeper down the rabbit hole, shall we?
to Immanentize the Eschaton means to bring about utopian conditions and create heaven on Earth
the phrase is first cited in the Discordian religious text, Principia Discordia (1963), for whom Discord (aka Eris) is goddess:
the first line of Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea’s 1975 The Illuminatus! trilogy: “It was the year when they finally immanentized the Eschaton.”
in Frederik Pohl’s The Eschaton Sequence (1997 - 1999), the human race is caught up in a galactic war between two alien races attempting to immanentize the eschaton
in Ken Macleod's The Stone Canal (1997), one of the chapters is “Another crack at Immanentising the Eschaton”
Crystal Thierry’s (aka the modern Discordia / Eris) narrative lives in esteemed company
here’s what the warning in the image says btw because i wanted to read it but it was too blurry so i had to spend several minutes hunting for a version with better resolution, so I’m posting it here so nobody else has to make that same journey
“DO NOT OPERATE THE ESCHATRON 9000 UNLESS YOU’RE REALLY, REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT DESTROYING THE WORLD”

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tbh a lot of my advice boils down to “hey you know that terrible horrible looming thing you’re doing your best to avoid and distract and escape as much as possible but no matter what you do it just keeps looming and looming and ruining your life”
“just, fuckign, run straight at it screaming.”
i needed this as a background
thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her
it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit
𝖂𝖊𝖑𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖙𝖔 "𝕻𝖔𝖕 𝕻𝖘𝖞𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖞 𝖆𝖎𝖓'𝖙 𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖞!"
Welcome back to "Pop Psychology ain't shit and here's why!"

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RIP to the legend
we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious
i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny
&also it allows you to experience the joy of talking like an autistic vampire, which i highly recommend