I have no pity to spare for thee...

for @mirellapryce (and anyone else, really!)

this is a small sample of dbda long fics I recommend, because like... if I include all of them the purpose of the list ends up being somewhat defeated. so like. anything on my pinboard I at the very least liked well enough at the time of reading to a) want to have an archived copy and b) plan to re-read at some point. for this list I tried to focus on ones that that either fit into canon or are very close to canon.

I did not include some of the fics that were WIPs when I bookmarked them and have since been completed since uh I apparently need to read those I am so sorry dead boys and dbda authors the hockey gays got me I still love you but it's hard to read both fandoms at the same time y'all are very different genres

N.B. - These recs are not comprehensive and only include completed works. see also my pinboard for more DBDA fics (completed dbda long!fics by wordcount: 30k-50k; 50k-75k; 75k-125k)

Canon or Canon Adjacent

All of @roseganymede95's codependency cup works. Some are longer than others - many are under the requested 50Kish you specified as the lower end but some are much longer, like...

RoseGanymede95 - Like We're Gonna Die Young (Again) Gen, Pre-Payneland, Pre-Series, 85K; part of a series but can be read independently if you MUST

Edwin sighed and unfolded his hands to push his hair back. “I suppose this was inevitable,” he allowed. Charles beamed. “That’s the spirit. Look at it this way — you’ve never been to a house party before, and here’s one that’s right up your alley!” “Ominous and full of peril?” Edwin asked sardonically. “Exactly!” Charles agreed. “This way you get to go to a party you’ll actually like, because it’s actually a mystery. And once you solve the mystery, the party ends. I couldn’t have thrown you a better one myself.”

(Words: 84,979) | Part 5 of Who? You mean your teammate in the Codependency World Cup?

the Best DBD series by the Best DBD writer, the Best and Funniest and Most Heartbreaking Codependent Dead Boys

ft. cluelessly bisexual charles rowland "IT'S THE SQUARE AT WORK"

world_wanderer - a good family Gen, Monty-Centric, Post-Series, 55K; part of a series and you should probably read the first one as well but it's pretty well explained if you do skip it

“Jenny,” said Edwin. “I know Crystal and Niko filled you in on most things before we left Port Townsend. How much did they tell you about Esther Finch?” Monty bolted.

Or, a look at Monty's life in London. (Words: 55,191) | Part 2 of gentle darkness

tragedy_machine - Porcelain Bones https://archiveofourown.org/works/69318231

Haunted by the grief of losing Niko and desperate to find meaning in everything that happened to him, Edwin’s drawn back to Port Townsend. Back to the idea that the suffering of a ghost like him, someone tempered in hellfire, can be forged into immense magical power. And he’d only use it to protect rather than ruin. But magic like this always demands its price. Resisting the pull of his new power proves difficult, and sometimes Charles feels like the only thing keeping Edwin tethered to his old self. Yet Charles isn’t without his own battles to fight and truths to face. As Edwin tries to protect his friends while safeguarding his secret, Charles fights to save Edwin from himself. Soon, the question becomes not whether Edwin is willing to pay the cost, but whether there will be anything left of him when the debt comes due.

OR: Edwin’s corruption arc vs Charles’ feeling realization arc, FIGHT (Words: 48,139)

Canon-Related AU

Luma_az - The Ghost of Saint Hilarion - Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Payneland, 58K

When Charles Rowland arrives at Saint-Hilarion, everyone knows that the school has been haunted by a ghost for about ten years. It is said that this one attacks the bullies and protects the victims. Charles is fascinated by these stories, but without really believing them, until he is invited to a seance to invoke this famous ghost... who has a very personal question to ask him: "Who made these bruises on your stomach?" (Words: 58,272)

-

(I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT THE VICTIMS DROPPING INTO LAP QUOTE, BEFORE REALISING. I WAS THE ONE WHO FUCKING SAID THAT. OOPS?)

The students all take turns telling him about themselves, what they like, what they want to do, who they are, and Grace in turn tells them about the names they make him think of, and the stories (fictional and real) that go with them, and the kids get to pick the ones they like.

It’s a beautiful exchange of cultures and personal experiences, and every class is unique (one class ends up entirely named after niche Star Trek characters after requests from multiple students result in “Earth culture storytime” devolving into Grace infodumping about his favorite show and everyone becomes obsessed). 

half the wishes, double the trouble: a pop idol vanessa mystery, ch. 3 [link]

Written by @tumblerislovetumblerislife (with illustrations by @edmcmayonnaise)

“God, I’m so selfish. You’ve probably told me the entire plot before, and I just didn’t listen, because I’m a fucking terrible friend! I know how important this manga is to you, and I still forced my way into it.”

Niko couldn’t keep listening to this. She blurted, “I used to have the biggest crush on Rebecca.”

Crystal stopped. Stared. “Who?”

In Your Heart Shall Burn - The Anchor

And on the one hand I feel really bad for them, because they were clearly really upset and they kept apologizing even though it wasn't really their fault. (Who the fuck puts metal posts underneath a rotating solar panel?!)

Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.

Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:

(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)

Anyway, in brief:

Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances

He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election

He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion

His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.

the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.

and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.