Palms of Our Hands

I’m also in art college. And even if I wasn’t, I’ve been doing art for almost a decade now. I’ve been disabled the whole bloody time.

AI, isn’t art.

There are many disabled artists and we have adapted our own ways of dealing with how we create. Fuck you, we have been doing this forever.

Vincent Van Gogh had temporal lobe epilepsy; Henri Matisse became a wheelchair user after surgery for cancer; Michelangelo had osteoarthritis, limiting mobility and causing pain in his hands and feet.

Paul Smith had a severe case of cerebral palsy and created art using typewriters.

Peter Longstaff has no arms due to Thalidomide, and paints with his feet.

Frida Kahlo not only had polio that disabled her as a child, but of course as we all know was injured in a bus accident at the age of 18, which caused her lifelong pain and medical problems.

Fuck, you want a personal annecdote? I knew a girl (we have lost touch since) who was paralysed from the neck down and she painted with her mouth and there are other artists who do so too! And with eye tracking technology I’m sure disabled artists will be getting more and more tools as the years pass. But we do NOT condone AI art. All that does is put us, real disabled artists, who exist and need support, out of jobs and commissions.

hi, another disabled person here for more personal anecdotes! here is an art piece i made entirely with my non dominant hand 1 week before my most recent shoulder surgery on that same arm. i also wear splint rings to keep my fingers from dislocating while painting (or playing bass guitar cause i do that too). i make most of my income off hand painted art despite having hand tremors, frequent wrist dislocations/subluxations, and migraines.

my friend and her wife also make their incomes off wig making, leatherwork, and digital collage prints. both have chronic pain as well.

Mine isn't as drastic (yet) but I've been having to wear wrist braces and finger splints since childhood off and on because using my hands in a repetitive motions causes them to be in pretty excruciating pain.

What is my art medium of choice? Knitting. You know, that thing where you have to do a repetitive motion over and over again. I hold my needles a bit strange, I knit through the pain, I sometimes have to give up working on it for weeks at a time. But I will not stop because it's what makes my heart sing.

Disabled artists don't need your pity, we've been getting by, doing what makes us happy despite the pain and hardships for thousands of years, probably longer, I bet there were neolithic disabled artists.

No actual real artist wants or uses AI, including disabled artists. AI is for losers who are scared of the extremely important phase in art where you suck and want to skip it by stealing and not even in a cool "I'm emulating your style because I wanna learn from it" way.

" Disabled artists don't need your pity, we've been getting by, doing what makes us happy despite the pain and hardships for thousands of years, probably longer, I bet there were neolithic disabled artists.

No actual real artist wants or uses AI, including disabled artists. AI is for losers who are scared of the extremely important phase in art where you suck and want to skip it by stealing and not even in a cool "I'm emulating your style because I wanna learn from it" way.

It's a toll free service with people who will help you find programs in your community to pay those bills, find food, and find housing! They will give you numbers to call so you can get help.

It is not 100% foolproof. Their job is to direct you to a program they believe will help your current issue, but it's still a step up from praying random strangers online will give you enough cash before a deadline! The added benefit of these community programs, which get funded by the local government most of the time, is if there are more people using them then they can get more money to help more people.

You're not taking resources from other people if you use your community services. Your taxes pay for them. Use them.

Dial 211 first to see if they can help, and if for some reason they can't, then make your donation posts!

I can't speak for all 211's but most should also have a website detailing all the agencies in their database. if you don't like phone calls, this can be something to reference instead.

If you don't have health insurance but you need to see a doctor, reference 211! We list clinics that provide free or discounted general care, vision, and dental services to low income households and people without insurance! Many hospitals also have financial aid policies that can severely reduce your bill if you had an expensive procedure!

If you're stuck in a dead end job or need educational resources reference 211! There are a lot of programs focused on providing basic adult education as well as trade skills or other high demand fields! State governments are generally more interested in funneling people into work than providing benefits, but you can still use this to your advantage especially if you have some form of disability but are still able to work. That includes if you're neurodiverse or have mental health issues! Most of these programs are extremely underutilized.

If you believe you qualify for public benefits but the bureaucracy of the process is in your way, reference 211! There are agencies specifically geared towards helping people obtain the benefits they qualify for- for free!

If you need help with your taxes-

If you need help finding a pro bono lawyer-

If you need help finding affordable housing/section 8 housing-

If you need help finding food pantries-

If you need help paying for your prescriptions-

If you need help obtaining disability aids or assistive technology-

If you need help finding transportation options-

If you need help following a natural or personal disaster (like a home fire)-

If you need help repairing a home you or your family owns or it needs modifications to be accessible-

If you need Queer resources-

Reference your 211!!!!!

I had no idea what 211 was before working for it but I wish I had. I've learned so much about what resources are actually available to the community even in a ho hum area of the country like my state. I've saved my partner literally thousands of dollars just from the medical resources I've gathered.

Not enough young people know about or utilize these services but they are there for you!

P. S.

What would you say to someone who's afraid of making mistakes and is always caught up in the details of preparing before hand with multiple back up plans and usually ends up severely panicking when confused or when a slight thing goes sideways?

I'm aware it's impossible to avoid making mistakes but dumb anxiety bird brain seems to think that it justifies avoiding it entirely and moving on, or desperately trying every other possible alternative when the real solution could be as simple as opening the window. What say you, Chicken?

I'd say,

what a lovely opportunity to explore this facet of yourself.

Perhaps presumptuous of me but I doubt that this tendency begins and ends for you at witchcraft.

It seems as if your natural inclinations create for you a complex spiderweb of ever-vibrating strands, and when the moment comes you have trouble knowing which line to walk down.

There is nothing wrong with that. Imagine having so many strands in a web! A lovely gift, perhaps. Maybe less so, if it seems that there are too many to navigate.

We all know the first answer is "get therapy," which is a boring answer because it's tantamount to "fix your anxiety," which yes, we all know that would be best. That being said:

Consider working with spirits which have a keen sense for navigation. Animal saints, we might call them, because that sounds cool. No need for two-way communication; veneration and asking for help will do. Helpful figures might include Salmon and Spider.

Reframe

When I was a kid I went to church, and churches are big on how to church, do you know what I mean? What the sermons should be like, what worship should be like, and so on.

Church first taught me about the art of performative spirituality. My first church was a really big one. The worship team had rehearsals with an AV guy. Coordinated choir outfits, a full band on stage. The reverb fades out and the pastor is ready with the first prayer. They practiced all week. It was a religious set - DJing the Holy Word.

Polished, smooth, pretty. And embarrassing when someone got it wrong. I still remember when the guitarist's sheet music was out of order. Thirty seconds of social agony up on stage while the bassist helped him figure out the order of songs. Awkward smiles from the rest of the band. The pastor politely folded his hands. Twenty years later I remember this - he messed up the performance.

At that time, I didn't know there was anything different. I don't mean that I didn't understand that there could be smaller bands, or no band. Or different kinds of sermons, or smaller stages - or no stage!

I mean that I didn't understand that worship could be nonperformative. I didn't know that there was a way to do it that wasn't about what was being presented.

Do you ever feel that watchful eye of judgement on you, anon? Are you ever the guitarist fumbling with sheet music, with three hundred souls politely waiting for you to get on with the show?

Their show, not yours - you are the performer.

Yes, I think many people feel this way when it comes to magic. I think many witches perform spells, and feel judged and watched when they fumble.

When I was still young - but a little older than when the guitarist had his music out of order - I heard some men of the church talking.

"When I grew up, all the churches were really slick. Not a second of time in-between the acts. You could tell they practiced. The first time I went to a worship group and the leader stopped to tune his guitar, I got whiplash."

I asked my dad what that meant. He explained to me that some worship groups are more casual, like a conversation instead of a show.

You'd think that such a little comment so many years ago wouldn't mean much. But now, to me, these words still ring true.

I get caught up in the performance of spell work, sometimes. I'm not alone, after all. I call the spirits. I'm the worship leader, really. I'm the bottleneck, the gatekeeper. The experience moves with me, though me. I've called you all here today -

Called them here for what?

Not for the intent of the spell. The decision that comes before that.

I've called them here for what?

So they can be an audience staring at me on stage? So I can display my practiced performance? So that they will get a show?

Or, have I called them to me to be my fellowship? To participate in a conversation? To whisper loving affirmations to each other as I stop to tune my guitar?

Have I invited them because my performance is worthless without them to observe it, or because my worship is enriched when they participate in it?

Sometimes I get befuddled. I work spells with a lot of content - things need to happen in a certain order. Too many thoughts hit my head at once, and for that I have one cure:

Whiplash.

I stop, and sit, and gather my thoughts. If I'm anxious about the spell, I tell them. If I don't know what to do next, I tell them. If it doesn't feel right, I tell them.

They didn't come because they're my audience. They came because they're my fellowship, my friends. My family.

And whiplash creates beautiful cracks in the performance for their love to seep through.

Reframing spells from performances to communication doesn't cure anxiety. But from time to time, I think it's worth challenging the foundational perspective upon which we have built our craft. Is witchcraft a series of actions, a mechanical toy which will go off the rails if you are not a perfect engineer? Or is it taking time to tune the guitar?

Don’t let yourself be pressured to define yourself or your path. Not now. Not ever. ( It is perfectly okay to have a type you do identify with or an identity, but it is also perfectly okay if you don’t know how to do more then describe your interests and what you are currently learning.)

When you consider yourself a witch, you are one.

That said, be prepared to experience some helpful hints if you’re being inappropriate (in an appropriation sense, or otherwise, being a danger to yourself or others).

Don’t be AFRAID of mistakes. Instead, make sure you learn your lessons that you can from the inevitable happening of them in your practice from time to time.

Be careful of what herbs, incense, candles and what ever else you burn, ingest, infuse, etc. (Some of these can be poisonous in certain uses, or cause miscarriages, skin allergies, etc. Make sure you read up on them, and know you’re body. Practice proper measures when consuming or using them. Know their properties. Know the side effects if something were to go wrong. This is for your own SAFETY and the safety of those around you.)

Practice, darn it. If you don’t use your newfound knowledge, you will not grow.

If you are low on energy, do simple things. Read up on your favorite new crystals, light a good smelling candle, take a herb infused bath, make a cup of tea, etc. Do things that will help you feel good and raise your energies.

Take breaks. Breathe. Go for a walk. Pet your favorite animal. Walk away from your studies for a bit. It’s okay to recharge. It’s healthy. You need to take care of your body and your mind, just as much as your spirit.

Don’t be ashamed if your interests change over time. That is okay too. It just means either you’ve found something new to be passionate about, perhaps your needs are different, and more.

ASK questions. PLEASE DO THIS. DO not let people scare you off from doing so. I encourage this so much. Yes, it may be discouraging to be told to research certain topics more, but sometimes, the other person can at least point you off in a direction they’ve experience with. Maybe give pointers or advice.

Some friendly animals (+ a ghost) to boost your motivation meter! :D

Hephaistos, God of the Fire, Volcanoes, Blacksmiths and Craftsmen, this is an offering for you. I thank you for protecting me this day.

I will try to make more digital offerings.

Yes! Seven was a significant number for the Mesopotamians, as well as twelve. The Sumerian numerical system was base twelve (as opposed to ours, which is base ten). Sixty, being a multiple of twelve, was also significant.

Incidentally, this is why we have weeks with seven days, days with two periods of twelve hours, hours with sixty minutes, and minutes with sixty seconds. Much of our time-keeping systems were adopted from Mesopotamia, and the seven-day week comes from the creation of the world in the Bible, a story which was heavily influenced by its Mesopotamian environment.

The Sumerians and subsequent cultures mathematics used Base 60 not Base 12…. also they don’t use zeros that would make it too easy for us.

I would attempt to give a giant math lesson because it would be cool as Base 60 is barely discussed. But I’ll save us a headache.

🔶

Seven in Math

In order to explain the holiness of the number seven. I have to explain division in the Mesopotamian sexagesimal system— it doesn’t exist. You never divide numbers in this system. You multiple by the number’s reciprocal. Example, using the table below if you want to divide something by 3:45 you would instead multiple it by 16.

This table is crucial to why 7 became important. Reciprocal of 1 is 1 | 2 is 30 | 3 is 20 | 4 is 15 | 5 is 12 | 6 is 10 | 7 is ???

Seven does not appear. Seven is the first natural number in the Base 60 system where everything goes haywire. Instead of going from 6:45 to 7 just like all the other its goes 6:45 to 7:01:52:30. Of course mathematically other number will fall into this exact trap but seven is the first to fall into the trap.

Reciprocal Table:

Therefore the first number to escape human rationale is seven. If it escapes human ability who could it be attributed to? The Gods or mysticism in general. Or at least thats the best analysis as to why seven became so important outside the realm of mathematics.

Some will argue about the positional vs non-positional numerical systems between the earlier Mesopotamian cultures and the later (specifically the Babylonian) but I’m not going to get into that rabbit hole. There is no clear theory as to why they used Base 60 to begin with anyways— it’s discussed in one of the math links if interested.

Take it out of the realm of pure mathematics and the Mesopotamian cultures used both Base 60 and Base 10. Base 10 was an auxiliary usage and Base 60 had vestiges of Base 10 within it. Additionally, even though zero was not used in the actual cuneiform tablets it was infered by the reader. In the same manner vowels may be inferred and not written depending on the writing system.

Sources and more info to read for the math:

https://mathcs.clarku.edu/~djoyce/ma105/reciprocals3600.html

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/roots-of-unity/the-joy-of-sexagesimal-floating-point-arithmetic/

http://mathshistory.st-andrews.ac.uk/HistTopics/Babylonian_numerals.html

http://it.stlawu.edu/~dmelvill/mesomath/Recip.pdf

https://www.mt-oceanography.info/science+society/lecture4.html

The Sumerians By Samuel Noah Kramer available on my library page has math on page 91- 93. A debunk-y opinion of his identity of the Seven Gods Who Decree: https://michi-izkur-ereshkigal.tumblr.com/post/176704160878/kramers-hypothesis-seven-who-decree (slightly embarrassed that I didn’t give the source for Leick’s comment but eh)

🔶

Religion & Culture

Three is also an important number, you’ll notice in hymns that the same sentence may be repeated 3 times or the same idea may be said 3 times in slightly different ways. When I write my prayers/words in regards to Sumerian practice a lack of repetition is extremely strange— repeating 3 times is a good benchmark.

Seven is everywhere as is six. Six things might happen in a sequence with the new event happening on the 7th such as in the myth of Nergal & Ereškigal. Human men had sex with Ištar but could never go past the “6” mark while Ištar could go past contrasting their ability as humans and her superiority as Divine.

I mention that idea of 6 human 7 divine in this post: https://michi-izkur-ereshkigal.tumblr.com/post/176883972483/you-are-not-your-gods-friend

https://arxiv.org/pdf/1407.6246.pdf

This link has a HUGE collection of examples of the number 7 you should really check it out. Please ignore the BS part where he says “The mystical number 7 was, so to speak, born in the rational mind of the Sumerians and grew in the irrational mind of the same people” for some reason certain academics feel the need to insult the ancient people they study. But it still has a massive list and commentary.

Gods Demons and Symbols by Jeremy Black and Antony Greek available in full PDF on my library page

There are numerous examples of Seven to read on pages 162-164

Seven Demons

Seven Dots

Seven Gods

Seven Sages

It also mentions numbers on page 144-145 and gives numbers associated with deities:

20 - Šamaš

30 - Šin

40 - Ea

50 - Enlil

🔶

Aside from this information (especially check out the last link) I have personally not researched numerical meanings enough that would allow me to provide you detailed info with actual sources and some level of certainty on my claims.

7, 6, 3, 4, 15, and some others are what I know off the top of my head but I can’t write out explanations for all of them. I won’t try until I think I’ve actually got enough reliable information— hence the post on numbers rotting in my drafts. Though this was a decent chunk of it.

instant oatmeal packets with fruit in them - $3 probably and this can be breakfast all week and maybe even a lunch or dinner too since you usually get 10 packets

bag of rice - $2-3 depending on size. 1 cup dry rice makes enough for about two meals depending on what you add in. if you get cheap rice, rinse it before cooking

canned beans - usually under $1 per can - mix the can with your rice and you have a meal. chili-spiced beans will make bean tacos. Rinse non-spiced beans before adding to anything.

Tortilla - usually around $3 but you get like 8-10 of them. Tacos, wraps, and quesadillas are all fair game here

lettuce - $2 max around here, either a head of something or bagged precut depending on preference, use as a salad or on tacos

protein other than beans of some sort - probably $5-7 for meat, $2-3 for eggs. sometimes I can get bags of frozen chicken breasts in this price range and each is usually 2 meals if I add in a bunch of veggies. fry/scramble eggs and add to any of the options. 

your favorite stir fry sauce - $3ish

vegetables - $5ish. literally anything that you can 1. fry in a pan and 2. you’ll eat. fresh carrots are usually pretty cheap. get frozen if it’s cheaper and you’re strapped for cash/prep time on this part. 

alternative to stir fry:  pasta (~$2), fresh tomatoes (~$2), cheese (~$3). 

Adding also: the single most nutritious food on earth is potatoes in their peel. Potatoes + some milk and butter = everything you need. They don’t last all that long, but they’re fairly cheap and the quickest cheat to “How do I not fuck my body up.”

(Cooked potatoes’ll last a while in the fridge. Potatoes nearing the end of their useful lives? Cook them to half-done first, figure out what to do with them later.)

Easiest baked potatoes: slice thinly but not paper-like, spread like cards, brush with oil (a silicone baking brush is totes worth the little it costs), spread salt and pepper (a little less than you think you’d like), cover with foil, stick in oven or toaster-oven at 150C for 40min. (If you have the patience, at that point click up to 180C, remove the cover and add 10-20min.) Reheats well, lasts in the fridge longer than it’ll take you to nom.

Dead-Animal-Free Whole Protein: some legumes + some grain. AKA rice and lentils, or rice and beans. (Maybe some fried onion for flavor; onion’s cheap and stays good a descent while. Fried onion makes everything taste better and keeps forever in the freezer, so frying up a bunch and keeping portions is not a half-bad idea.) (If going for the beans option - lentils are cheaper around here but fuck if I know what it’s like in your area - dump some tomato sauce and oil in; canola or soy are best health-wise, and far cheaper than olive; avoid corn.) Oh, what does instant couscous go for in your area? It keeps for fucking ever, it’s usually cheap, and it takes well to any and all added taste.

If you get to choose, black lentils taste the best and need the least soak-time (0-20min), green lentils are best for cooked stuff and red lentils are best in soups. (Red lentils + potatoes + root vegetables of choice + spices; cut into small pieces, cook, run through the blender if you wanna [stick blender’s awesome], freeze in portions.)

When possible, get instant soup mix. Get the good instant soup mix. (The kind that’s not made primarily of sugar, yeast or both. The rest is optional.) Dump 1/2tsp (or more, but start on the low end) into couscous, or chicken, or sprinkle over potatoes being stuck in the oven. Whatever. It’ll make most cooked-food-type things taste better. And again, lasts forever on the shelf.

And speaking as someone who is also living off oatmeal, beans, and brown rice, if you need recipes, I have them! 

Today I made 16 bean soup with chicken sausage and it was crazy good and I got 8 servings out of the one batch (froze half). I usually get the cheapest beans I can find, and GOYA bags of beans are usually $1-2. I soaked them overnight,rinsed them, and threw them in a gallon lidded saucepan with 2 boxes of chicken stock (also on sale for $2), two bay leaves, sauteed green pepper, onion, and celery, some garlic from a jar, about two tablespoons of dried herbs de provence,and the “fancy” bit was adding $6 bourbon and apple chicken sausages. You can actually sub veg stock for chicken and skip the sausage and make it vegan and it would still taste great.

Oh and I’ve been doing steel-cut oats. I don’t buy the name brand ones, I just pick whatever store brand/generic I can get for less than $4. They take about ½ an hour to make, but they’re super tasty and I make 2 cups of dried oats at a time with dried cranberries and that’s breakfast for 4 days at least. 

“From here rose the first written letter, (finding its way) to every point on earth”

Do’s and Don'ts of Designing for Accessibility

Anxiety

Autistic Spectrum

Dyslexia

Physical or Motor Disabilities

Low Vision

Screen Readers

Deaf or Hard of Hearing