You guys got us here. So many of you, and many of you–I have no idea who you are, and you don’t know me, or us, but you opened your heart and your Paypal and threw money at us so we could escape a situation that was causing crap health and massive stress.
[”And I love YOU, random citizen!”]
And we’re out of there! After having to leave stuff behind that we didn’t want to leave, but…well, it’s done. Also, fuck those two dead drill batteries in particular, because otherwise we’d have Eldest Podling’s bedframe in the UBoxes instead of left behind. Without the drill–well, we were almost an entire day late leaving as it was. Non-refundable hotel rooms ensured that yes, we still left the day we planned. Just late. So very late.
Now we’ve been here for a full week as of yesterday, and had to buy extra days in this place because we still hadn’t found a house to rent.
We looked at two houses today that were both nice. One was smaller (and tbh, nicer) and one was nearly twice its size but it had visible issues that would need to be addressed with the management company. We thought we’d try for the larger house, but as I’m sitting here filling out the form, and realizing what paying first, last, AND the security deposit up front would do to our bank account, I start dwelling on the larger house’s isssues–like the water leak in the ceiling and obvious mold in the bathroom on a fixture, the bad grout in the kitchen and lack of caulking, the fucked kitchen faucet that would need to be replaced…on the surface it was bigger/nicer appliances/yard, but underneath, I worry.
Then I sit back and wonder if I’m only worried BECAUSE of the massive yank on the bank account. I know exactly what it costs to survive even when it’s cheaper.
[”I know this is a trap, but I don’t know how.“]
Actually, no matter which house we choose, it’s going to be a yank on the bank account. Larger house renter company might actually repair all of its issues, no problem! But then we don’t have next month’s rent due to putting up three times the rent up front. Other house has no issues except crap water pressure (what the fuck, St. John’s County, how is this a county-wide issue) and we’d still have the next month’s rent and a bit left over for food and the desks we need back…but it’s next to a busier road with a smaller yard, with frankly crap appliances for all they were shiny on the surface.
[”Five years in space…God help me.”]
I think what it ultimately comes down to is: I’m looking at the bank account, aware of what it takes to set up a new house even if it’s a rental, and fretting. (Maybe panicking, but definitely fretting.) I’m worried about the kids, who have displayed signs of serious stress, or talked to me about it outright because they know this place is temporary, and temporary is wearing on them. Eldest Podling says he feels like he’s under an intense amount of pressure, even though he doesn’t know why. I know why, and it’s not just him being teenager-y.
If I had even just a month’s rent for either property, I’d probably be way less worried. Being able to cover all of the move-in costs would be a major relief so that I could be less anxious. (Less anxiety means I go back to working on the book! Which I need to do. Like, now.) On the surface, the rent seems extremely high, but it costs us more to live in the house in Maine…which we still have to pay for during this month, at least, since the nephew still lives there.
…Fuck, yeah, never mind. I’m going to be a leech, but I’m a leech with podlings and family members and cats and some fish who need a home.
It’s $1700 x 3 to get into the larger house (where I will Happen to them until they fix things). $5100 all told. (Hopefully I don’t need to give the electric company a deposit. Or for cable. Or water.)
Fuck, moving still sucks.
[”I don’t wanna do this!!”]
So here’s what I’ll offer, since I still don’t have my printer or most of my art supplies. Every time I break $1,000.00 USD, I’ll post an extra chapter of OaLC. That’s 5 extra chapters. Every time I break an actual rent amount @$1,700.00, I’ll post one of the finished chapters of Vishakha. I’ll even put them on AO3. That’s three possible shiny book chapters. (I still have a goal for RE chapters but I need to be in a stable environment for that.) But hey, book chapters!
PayPal: deadcatwithaflamethrower @gmail or flammetirar @gmail
Google Pay - same two addresses above or paypal.me/flamethrower
Sending it directly: Mailing address below
Other things: Signal boosting I guess??
Getting the house money means we can move into the house while having the funds to replace what was left behind (fortunately I’m not appliance shopping right now, we have the washer/dryer and everything else is provided), and we’re still eating food, and the podlings are less stressed, and the mate isn’t blaming himself for not having a job yet even tho he just put his hook into the job waters on Monday after we got an official mailing address. (PO Box 4554, St. Augustine, FL 32085!
…What? You can’t find me by PO Box, and you already know I live here. No glitter bombs or mystery powders, please.)
I know it’s been a lot. Hence, feeling like a leech…but I keep getting told that I should at least tell you guys. Love you, you amazing scary wonderful people.
[Cat giving their Human a high-five]
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