✨️I'm so depressed I act like it's my birthday✨️

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

This post reminded me that I have green beans in the fridge, thank you!

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

you're not making enough of stone fruit season. that's another thing you're fucking up. a few dozen stone fruit seasons you get your whole life. you need to take a hard look at your peach and mango consumption.

love the phrase "but I digress." yes I temporarily got lost in the moors I wander in my mind but don't worry I'm self-aware about it

medieval backstreet boys: you are… my friar

the one... dear squire

having anxiety is like being given permanent unwanted custody of a halter arabian. like okay buddy is it panic time again. cool you probably need more exercise and an apple and then maybe you'll calm down.

thoroughly enjoying the notes on this post because it's equal parts people with anxiety going "yeah that's what it's like" and people with arabians going "yeah that's what they're like"

Girls will be like Idk why im so unproductive recently and then you ask whats going on in their life and they list eight lifestopping crisies and then say 'yeah but i should be fine :/ '

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

genuinely one of my favourite details about Bram Stokers Dracula that isn't really transferred to the pop culture is that vampires have irridescent eyes, they appear brown at a glance, however when light is reflected on them they seem to go red!

also like the cowboy part can we please stop omitting the fact that there is a real ass cowboy in Bram Stokers Dracula and hes from real ass Texas and he has a fucking gun and he tries to fucking shoot Dracula

i think too many people operate under the assumption that emotions are some frivilous fantasy of the mind and have no impact on the physical world, which is a cute thought when Humans are an animal that can die from being kinda stressed out

Sometimes I get the "I can fix him" urge for a fictional character but like not in a sexy way. I can fix him with the power of friendship. I look at him the way a 12 yr old horse girl looks at an abused stallion that has injured its last 3 riders but she knows that it will sense her good vibes and she'll be the first person to show it kindness. That man is a skittish horse to me.