no matter how hard i try, nothing i write will ever be as fucked up as the stuff somebody who thinks they're creating a Wholesome AU with unexamined beliefs will make.
couldn't leave this in the tags

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@oz-man
no matter how hard i try, nothing i write will ever be as fucked up as the stuff somebody who thinks they're creating a Wholesome AU with unexamined beliefs will make.
couldn't leave this in the tags

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important self care tipâget high and ride your vibrator and moan "mommy" into your pillow while cumming
You can begin this process at any time, regardless of how old you have become.
You gotta read and watch some old books and films that arenât 100% modern politically correct. Iâm not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.
Also, more often than you might think, theyâre not actually promoting bigotry so much as âdidnât consider all the implications of somethingâ or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.
Kill the censor in your head.
When we choose to avoid history because it's Problematic or Says Bad Things, we are choosing to divorce ourselves from understanding how we came from that time to this one, which makes it even more likely for the cycle to repeat, with no one but a few people with shelves of old books aware that it's happened before.
and this shit's important. Media from the past tells us how people from the past acted and thought and behaved.
Plus, a lot of these media pieces were socially acceptable and/or progressive for their time. For example, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, while it contains a lot of words and ideas that are offensive now, was very progressive for its time. The book is a statement piece for how a young man who's grown up in a racist environment, with no words to explain himself other than racist and bigoted ones, decides that the whole system is shit and he's not going to follow those rules any more. So not reading or engaging with it because it uses the n-word a lot really misses the point.
i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable
himmelblauerhimmel
ich bin immer ein falsches wort davon entfernt von all den leuten erschossen zu werden die mich erträglich finden
Notes:
In German, when someone is being shot, you have to specify whether they were merely wounded ("angeschossen") or shot to death ("erschossen").
I do like that given the opportunity to specify, you did choose to kill op
I assumed that's what op intended

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girl get off that c.ai and embrace the 'x reader'
Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didnât have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.
And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.
A website of tiny ceramic frogs.
Not for sale. Just⌠all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.
I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.
âThis is your website?â I asked finally.
âYep!â
âYou coded this yourself?â I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.
âYep!â
âSo⌠whereâd all the frogs come from?â
âI made those too,â he says, beaming.Â
And while Iâm processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.
âAnd THIS one,â he says, âI made for you! As a thank you for the interview.â
It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case heâd wash out in 90 days and weâd hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team.Â
And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.
(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,
inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.
can we focus on the gnome for a second
wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat
these are the people i have to share a highway with
Guy eating pussy but he's got one of those Bluetooth earpieces on and on the other end is a lesbian instructing him how to do it.
I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"
One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"
Then they spit roast me
I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

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In my family we've always enjoyed the process of coming up with a bit then overdoing the bit until it dies, and then just powering through with it until it eventually becomes funny again. Resurrecting the bit so we can kick it to death again, over and over. Once it hits its second or third wind it gets funnier than before due to the added layers
These past couple months I've been playing vintage story with my dad and sister and our bit has been any variety of jokes or puns pertaining to Squidward having a lot of gay sex. Any opportunity to make the slightest grasping-at-straws innuendo about Squidward is jumped on. I've become so annoyed at the bit before coming back around on it again multiple times now
That's the spirit!
[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-
DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE
reblog to ruin a law studentâs life
oh hello youâve returned to us
shit I missed my window, next week I guess
Reblog on Tuesday to let your followers know itâs safe to leave the bog

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Luis Camnitzer - The Photograph (1981)
The Screenshot (2014)
The Reblog (2014)
Bahahahaha love this
The Unnecessary Comment (2014)
The Revival (2026)
The âThe original?!â (2026)
@world-heritage-posts @worldheritagepostorganization
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
The âNomination for World Heritage Postâ (2026)
"This story is a tragedy because it didn't have to end this way."
vs
"This story is a tragedy because it was always going to end this way."
I submit for your consideration:
'this story is a tragedy because along the way we got just enough glimpses of alternate timelines and barely-averted prophecies to know that somehow, the way it turned out is the best it could have gone'
Finally, a worthy challenger!
"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true." - James Branch Cabell