A flamberged Smallsword with a delicately pierced hilt,

OaL: 39.5 in/100.25 cm

Blade Length: 32.1 in/81.5 cm

Eating while on shift is not permitted, staff are told. “If the system detects no keyboard stroke and mouse click, it will show you as idle for that particular duration, and it will be reported to your supervisor. So please avoid hampering your productivity.”

A training video about the webcam system, seen by the Guardian, says it “monitors and tracks real-time employee behaviour and detects any violations to pre-set business rules, and sends real-time alerts to managers to take corrective actions immediately”.

Step 1: Open Notepad.

Step 2: Copy the following text, line for line, omitting only the --- that caps either end of it. --- Dim objResult Set objShell = WScript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell") Do While True   objResult = objShell.sendkeys("{NUMLOCK}{NUMLOCK}")   Wscript.Sleep (6000) Loop --- Step 3: Save this as whatever.vbs, put it somewhere you can access easily, and double click it when you start your computer.

What does this do?

...that means when you copied that text up there your browser ‘helpfully’ changed the double-quotes to fancy double-quotes with different opening/closing shapes:

See the green-circled bits? Yeah. Change those to simple double-quotes, re-save your vbs file, and you’re good to go.

Also, be aware! 

Once you start this script it will keep running until your next reboot. If you forget and double-click the vbs file again, you’ll have TWO of these things running in parallel. Double-click again and you’ll have three (3) happy busy processes running, consuming Windows resources needlessly. That’s not an emergency or anything, but definitely not optimal.

Keep doing that though, intentionally or not, and Windows may become unstable. If that happens, just reboot Windows -- no permanent damage.

But if you’re comfortable with the Windows CMD line (or PowerShell) and want to stop the script without rebooting, issue this command instead:

   taskkill /f /im wscript.exe

You may need to start your cmd session via ‘run as administrator’ if Windows complains. This also nukes all vbs scripts that may be running in the background, but generally speaking that number should be zero.