This is something that can and does hurt people within the community. I think it can be a little invisible to those within the online community that our terms, our way of talking about these terms, and the terms we define as outdated or inaccurate, can change very, very quickly. Online discussions, and especially decentralized online discussions like tumblr or twitter that rely on spreading a post through a network of connected individuals rather than a centralized discussion space – these don’t reach everyone at the same time. 

Why is this bothering me?  I recently wound up in a discussion about older trans folks who use the term ‘transsexual’ to describe themselves. 

Now, ‘transsexual’ is a depreciated term. It’s not current.  Someone who uses it is probably going to get a side-eye from any queer folks within earshot.  But it’s also an identity term for people who have fought long and hard for their identities. And those people are still here, still with us. Who are we, younger and more online, surrounded by our communities, to tell older trans folks, the ones who didn’t have the internet to answer their questions and connect them with others, who had to risk it all to visit each other in person or forge their way in painful solitude for years or decades, what they can and cannot call themselves? 

I think it’s good that there is online discussion.  I think it’s great that we can continue to refine our language and the way we think about our identity and our community. Adding to the language we have to define ourselves is no bad thing.  

My plea, instead, is that we not subtract from that language. If someone feels that ‘transsexual’ is the term that best describes them, let them have it! If a trans woman feels that “MTF” is the term that most accurately describes her life journey, who am I to crawl up her ass with a lecture about how that language invalidates people who feel they never were their AGAB and don’t have a ‘to’ of any kind?  It’s not about them! She’s talking about herself, and telling her that her own self-chosen term is outdated or even transphobic (!!!!) is bullshit of the highest order. 

The weakness of progressivism is the tendency to turn on each other, and to spend so much time fighting amongst each other over minor details that we lose sight of our goals that, ultimately, align. Fighting over the precise connotations of different terms blinds us to the fight for genuine freedom to be ourselves. 

Terms for the broad community are likewise never going to sit exactly right with the entire community. Some terms are going to be better than others, of course, and get wider acceptance – but there’s no universally accepted, universally identified-with language. We do the best with what we have, and it’s important to remember that not everyone has access to the exact same information – the same tumblr posts, the same twitter feeds, the same subreddits, the same Facebook groups – that you might have seen. And that does not make people who haven’t seen those exact same posts/discussions/etc ignorant, misinformed, or malicious.

We do the best with what we have. Language is an imperfect tool, and all the more imperfect for its uneven transmission. If a person says “transman” when you feel they should be saying “trans man” – does correcting them further the movement? Does attacking them strengthen our resistance against the legions of people who want to see us crushed down and forced to conform to the M or F slapped on our birth certificates? 

Accept that there is a broad, diverse range of ways to talk about our experiences, our identities, and our struggles. There is no one right way to be trans, no universal lesbian experience, no single bi or pan definition that covers everyone precisely. There is no official measure of gay. 

#5

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#1

"Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma" doesn't contain a slur, but "What are you, some kind of fag?" does.

"Queer studies", "the queer community" and "I'm queer"? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a "dirty queer"? Slur.

"Be gay, do crimes" and "He's gay" ≠ slur, but "Ew, that's so gay" = slur.

Why are you singling out "queer"?

Hi, I'm queer and I don't like being called gay. Why is it always "don't call people 'queer' if they don't like it" but never "don't call people 'gay' if they don't like it"? Or just "don't call people words they are uncomfortable with"?

Why is it only ever "queer" that gets singled out?

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SUMMARY OF THE CONFLICT: https://fuck-you-hypocrites.tumblr.com/post/630868261533368320

SUMMARY ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/TAETAEline/status/1284651022976049154

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Not-at-all-casual-reminder that she left Reddit in 2015 after being forced to resign because Reddit lost its collective shit at her when the site banned 5 subreddits for harassment; not-at-fucking-all casual reminder that Ellen Pao was the CEO of Reddit when it banned revenge porn after The Fappening.

One of the subreddits that was banned that led to her resignation was r/fatpeople hate. The others were transphobic and racist.

In her time at Reddit Pao did more than the site had ever before done to fight harassment from its user base and for that someone started a subreddit calling for her firing and trying to make nazi and ISIS imagery come up in searches associated with her name.

If *anyone* in the tech industry knows what the blackpill subculture is like and how vile and toxic groups spawned in subreddits can be it’s Ellen Pao.

This isn’t someone who’s oblivious to the fact that her former company is a source of the problem, this is someone who is speaking from personal experience with online harassment campaigns orchestrated by people who want the freedom to post celebrity nudes who were *enraged* that she made it harder for them to do so.

The US, like a week later:

cishet was coined to mean cisgender heteroromantic heterosexual

aces can’t be cishet, as they are asexual

aros can’t be cishet, because they are aromantic

aces and aros deserve to be loved, accepted, and understood

aces and aros don’t deserve the nasty things aphobes say they deserve

troll blogs love demonising ace and aro people by pretending to be one and y’all fall for it every god damn time

aces and aros aren’t confused, incomplete, or broken

aces and aros aren’t cringy

Some takeaways from the research:

1. You can have and transmit Coronavirus without symptoms.

2. A person can be asymptomatic– i.e. carrying Coronavirus but never fall ill, or presymptomatic– i.e. someone who is infected with Coronavirus but has not yet started to show symptoms.

3. Average symptom onset is around 5 days, though it can be as long as 14 days.

4. !!!Carriers of Coronavirus shed viral particles MOST AGGRESSIVELY BEFORE THEY FALL ILL!!. It is not just the ‘sick’ who are contagious! In the 72-48 hours before a presymptomatic carrier falls ill they are MOST contagious, with viral shed lessening as a person becomes sicker.

5. Therefore, plenty of ‘healthy’ people may be some of the most contagious.

6. This is why the wearing of masks is being pushed again and more strongly: Not to keep you from getting Covid– but to keep you from SPREADING it.

The Covid-19 virus is 0.1 microns large. Researchers at Cambridge University tested various household materials for the effectiveness against 0.02 micron Bacteriophage MS2 particles (5 times smaller than the coronavirus).

Even just wrapping a scarf around your mouth and nose will eliminate 49% of microscopic bacterial and viral infectious material. If you make a double layered mask using a cotton blended material, the protection is significant.