How can I reblog this a million times? The 1% are master manipulators.
The existence of another poor person is not why you’re poor.
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if i look back, i am lost

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@opaltruth
How can I reblog this a million times? The 1% are master manipulators.
The existence of another poor person is not why you’re poor.

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Santa is on strike due to global warming. All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger. Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.
“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”
“Yes good”
“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”
“Wait no”
“EAT THEM”
“sasha no”
@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching
She is making a list
It is not easy with her paws but she is making it
shes almost here
Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT
SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!
Y’all better behave, you have two months
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
being in stores that look like this and play this kind of music always makes me hyper-aware of aging and the inevitability of death
so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count
holy f uck jane
its a serious question
well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.
new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing
no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.
you gotta digest it.
so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?
huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?
Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”
“you what now”
i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic
now that u said it im really surprised as well
what the fuck did i just read
Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?
I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.
I’m not convinced by this, actually!
Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”
But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:
“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”
Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.
The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.
(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)
Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.
And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”
Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years.
Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”
“you what now”
This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.
well actually…..
Hey everyone! Read that in John Mulaney’s voice!
I just finished his “new kid in town” skit on Netflix so his voice is still in my head
gonna b real w/u now im unable to read that outside of his tone of voice thanks for that m8

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“this is my custom fursuit, I had 30 neon-green wolves killed for it”
WHAT KIND OF FUCKING MILLIONAIRE IS MAKING FURSUITS OUT OF REAL FUR
“Cruella De Vil is a furry” is not the hot take I expected to see on my dash today, but I think it’s the one I deserve
I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!
Even if I do not receive money or good news, I did smile at seeing this smiling Buddha.
Reblogging again because last time I got positive news immediately, something I had wished for :3 Thank you, and
You know what.
I didn’t even get to reblog this
I already got a new positive news while writing this!
THANK YOU! If possible, I would like to have another good news or money.
petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’
what about alaska
are we then normal canada
canada a bit to the left
What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?
i cried my ass of laughing
WARM CANADA
i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD
I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names
M ILKY E H
IT HAS RETURNED
FOUND IT
IT IS AN HONOUR TO HAVE THIS GRACE MY DASH
reblogging from myself bc i found this when scrolling through my blog
Reblogging again because this is too god for not reblog
this is one of the few posts you have to reblog or else you’ll never see it in a million years besides screenshots
I am so very happy
I die every time this pops up on my dash.
O MY GOSH
@hellabiangelofthelord
YESSSSSSSS
Dying. Milky eh. 🤣🤣 @nuggsmum
Dude. I’m all for this.
I hear my mom shrieking downstairs, shouting up to me about “THE CATS! THE CATS!”
I run downstairs, thinking someone has died or something and see THIS:
I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO PUNCH SOMETHING TO GET OVER THE ADORABLENESS
They look like they’re about to break out in a musical number
hence:
This post got better since I re-blogged it earlier.
This is everything
#chris evans #in where he is actually steve rogers
#when is chris evans not steve rogers though
#when casting is perfect I begin to wonder about Marvel #do they secretly grow these people on farms #let them loose on the world for a while to establish lives #and then cast them as the role they were grown for
I have
no idea
what you’re
talking about
i do believe this is my fifth time reblogging this
apart form sebastian though he goes from this to this
seb’s the weird cousin
@justaweirdthoughtstuff
This is amazing oml
Seb’s the fanboy they grew to connect with the audience
@snowyseba This explains everything!
I’ve only seen this post in screenshots on pinterest. I love it.
I think you missed the other fanboy…
Love this
Everybody says Seb isn’t like Bucky… but he IS. He’s Bucky without a mask on. Bucky’s always wearing some sort of mask. Even around Steve. Seb is what Bucky would be like if he’d had the chance to just ~be~.
UH THIS
Um we’re forgetting someone…
ITS FINALLY ON MY DASH YESSS
Not to forget our “Wizard”:
Aldjaksnana
I’ve found it. I’ve found the perfect post.
it’s on my dash jdnckdmd
these dorks lmaoo
I love everyone omg they’re all so amazing???
Don’t forget
Chris looks so hot in that first gif set
Omg I found THE original post! Holy shit I’ve only ever seen screenshots of this!
This post pops up on my dash every few months and I will never not reblog it.
This is too good to not reblog
Everybody see this, this is the quality trash I came to Tumblr in the first place.
This post is ALMOST perfect, but we’re forgetting someone:
I AM OVERHWLEMED BY MARVELLOUS PERFECTION
Perfection <3

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i am physically incapable of not reblogging this
This makes me happy every time I see it.
I’m about to have a fun afternoon.
So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
This should make for an interesting story.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
What a great day.
This is literally the most beautiful and thrilling tale. Start to finish.
I am almost in tears I am laughing so hard. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you took all the toilet paper. I’m dying. Help. It sounds like the start of a joke: two martial artists, a wrestler, two linebackers and a Navy Seal walk into a Chipotle.
I have reblogged this a dozen times and I will reblog it a dozen more.
This needs reblogging. I’ve read this before, but it’s still priceless.
I don’t reblog this amazing piece of human cooperation, assume I’m dead
Mr Rogers Facts.
Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Follow Ultrafacts for more facts daily.
always share mr rogers facts
I feel like Victor and Yuuri would be the type of new parents who would never want to hire a sitter so their friends just never see them again. But it’s OK because if and when they do get out by some miracle, ALL they want to talk about is the baby. So really… they’re doing you a favor, Phichit.
Nothing can ever change that.
insp.

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Join the Introvert Nation
petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’
what about alaska
are we then normal canada
canada a bit to the left
What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?
i cried my ass of laughing
WARM CANADA
i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD
I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names
I’m so glad that this is on my dash
@windy-scribbles
Where can I sign this petition.