all good novelists realize they’re nothing compared to musicians. and all good musicians realize they’re nothing compared to novelists

ALL good novelests and musicicans realize their nothing compared to porno Dvd's

do you jack off ?

Im not feeling good at all right now i need help badly

lets touch our antennae together. i don’t care anymore. i just wanna feel you. i don’t care that it’s not allowed or it’s weird. fuck the colony. let’s go off into the long grass where no one can find us and touch antennae. just you and me

I have a girlfriend she just goes to a different layer of the metanarrative

The bus is never coming because I don’t deserve it

found a baby turtle in my sewer and used AI aging techniques to work out what it would look like as an adult and used google reverse image search to find images of its parents who were in a nature documentary in 2017 and used harsh economic sanctions to encourage them not to lose their baby in the sewer again

2. nothing wrong with me

the left testicle is for logic and forward thinking and the right testicle is for creativity and art

A congenial beast has have been lurking in the pleasant woods.

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

at this point my emoji reactions are more of a sign of my reading comprehension than anything else.

“it’s really raining over here” familiar word spotted: rain! I shall reply appropriately: 🌧️

yesterday i was taking a guest’s order and they were staring at the menu and the question they asked stunned me into silence and has been burned into my brain for life and i will present it to you verbatim today. they looked at the menu and turned to me and asked “so like, the more we get, the more expensive it is? is that how it works?”

man the crazy thing about babies is that like, some people would think that reading a baby a book about farm animals is teaching them about farm animals, but really it’s teaching them about the concept of a book and how there’s new information on each page of a single object, but really, beyond that, it’s teaching them how language works, and beyond that it’s really actually teaching them about human interaction, and really really it’s them learning about existing in a three-dimensional space and how they can navigate that space, but actually, above all it is teaching them that mama loves them.

internet database with the goal of logging every art medium that exists so you can rate sculptures alongside movies and porn and posts and perfume and restaurants and speeches and gardens and so on. generating the worst comments sections conceivably possible

of course the micromontage tourists are votebombing a textile work immediately as it hits the top charts 😂🥱