Once Upon a Simblr

by Keith Humphreys - May 5, 2014           

When I met my fiance’s African-American stepfather, things did not start well. Stumbling for some way to start a conversation with a man whose life was unlike mine in almost every respect, I asked “So, what do you do for a living?”.

He looked down at his shoes and said quietly “Well, I’m unemployed”.

At the time I cringed inwardly and recognized that I had committed a terrible social gaffe which seemed to scream “Hey prospective in-law, since I am probably going to be a member of your family real soon, I thought I would let you know up front that I am a completely insensitive jackass”. But I felt even worse years later when I came to appreciate the racial dimension of how I had humiliated my stepfather-in-law to be.

For that painful but necessary bit of knowledge I owe a white friend who throughout her childhood attended Chicago schools in a majority Black district. She passed along a marvelous book that helped her make sense of her own inter-racial experiences. It was Kochman’s Black and White Styles in Conflict, and it had a lasting effect on me. One of the many things I learned from this anthropological treasure trove of a book is how race affects the personal questions we feel entitled to ask and the answers we receive in response.

My question to my stepfather was at the level of content a simple conversation starter (albeit a completely failed one). But at the level of process, it was an expression of power. Kochman’s book sensitized me to middle class whites’ tendency to ask personal questions without first considering whether they have a right to know the personal details of someone else’s life. When we ask someone what they do for a living for example, we are also asking for at least partial information on their income, their status in the class hierarchy and their perceived importance in the world. Unbidden, that question can be quite an invasion. The presumption that one is entitled to such information is rarely made explicit, but that doesn’t prevent it from forcing other people to make a painful choice: Disclose something they want to keep secret or flatly refuse to answer (which oddly enough usually makes them, rather than the questioner, look rude).

Kochman’s book taught me a new word, which describes an indirect conversational technique he studied in urban Black communities: “signifying”. He gives the example (as I recall it, 25 years on) of a marriage-minded black woman who is dating a man who pays for everything on their very nice dates. She wonders if he has a good job. But instead of grilling him with “So what do you do for a living?”, she signifies “Whatever oil well you own, I hope it keeps pumping!”.

Her signifying in this way is a sensitive, respectful method to raise the issue she wants to know about because unlike my entitled direct question it keeps the control under the person whose personal information is of interest. Her comment could be reasonably responded to by her date as a funny joke, a bit of flirtation, or a wish for good luck. But of course it also shows that if the man freely chooses to reveal something like “Things look good for me financially: I’m a certified public accountant at a big, stable firm”, he can do so and know she will be interested.

Since reading Kochman’s book, I have never again directly asked anyone what they do for a living. Instead my line is “So how do you spend your time?”. Some people (particularly middle class white people) choose to answer that question in the bog standard way by describing their job. But other people choose to tell me about the compelling novel they are reading, what they enjoy about being a parent, the medical treatment they are getting for their bad back, whatever. Any of those answers flow just as smoothly from the signification in a way they wouldn’t from a direct question about their vocation.

1. Request a mail-in ballot.

2. Do not mail it.

3. Google your supervisor of elections to see where you can drop off your mail-in ballot. It’s usually NOT THE POLLING PLACE.

All states allow this! Here is what you’re accomplishing by doing this:

1. Your ballot gets in on time no matter what happens to the USPS.

2. You don’t have to worry about standing in long lines and risking infection. You’re just stopping by to drop it off.

3. You voted! Hooray! I have no doubt Trump and his supporters are doing to try to call into question the legitimacy of mail-in voting (which is more enthusiastically embraced by Democratic supporters, especially now.)

Also, when you drop it off, find out how to track it online to make sure it is verified. California, Oregon, Washington, and Colorado have systems that can track your ballot just like tracking a package from Amazon.

All CA vote centers (which are open for weeks to a month before election day) have ballot drop-off boxes too! Many government buildings have them as well, so there’s no need to wait until election day when it’s crowded to drop them off. The list of drop-off sites is always posted on each county’s voter info website.

All States - Vote Save America and Vote.org have powerful tools to help you register and apply for an absentee ballot online, no matter what state you live in. They also have resources for people whose right to vote is being threatened and ways to help compromised states.

California - Register to Vote Online | Ballot Drop Off Locations  | Note: Per an emergency order from Gov. Gavin Newsom, the state of California will mail absentee ballots to all voters, so make sure you are registered!

Connecticut - Register to Vote Online | Request an Absentee Ballot | NOTE: In order to protect citizens from COVID-19, all voters can vote with absentee ballots this year. Make sure you are registered and request a ballot (check the COVID-19 box in the application)! Connecticut does not have early voting at the moment, but this could change. Contact [email protected] to request more information.

Illinois - Register to Vote Online | Register for an Absentee Ballot (mail-in only) | NOTE: There are restrictions on who can register for absentee status, email. You can find information on how to contact the State Board of Elections here.

Maine - Register to Vote (mail-in or hand-deliver only) | Request an Absentee Ballot Online | Absentee Voting Guide (includes information on registration and where to drop off ballots) | NOTE: Maine has both in-person absentee voting (ballot drop-off) and early voting.

Massachusetts - Register to Vote Online | Early Voting Information and Application | NOTE: All voters are eligible to vote early in Massachusetts, make sure to apply! There is no early voting, but ballots can be delivered by hand to your city or town clerk (find more information here) if you show valid ID.

Michigan - Elections Info

Minnesota - Register to Vote Online |  Request an Absentee Ballot Online | County Election Office Contact Info | NOTE: Every Minnesota county is required to have at least one drop-off location, email your local Election Office to learn your location(s) and request they post this information online!

New Hampshire - Register to Vote (mail, fax or in-person only) | Request an Absentee Ballot (mail, fax or hand-deliver only) | NOTE: COVID-19 is considered a valid reason to request a ballot! Make sure you do so! New Hampshire does not have early voting

New Jersey - Register to Vote (mail-in or in-person only) | Vote By Mail Application (mail-in or in-person only) |  NOTE: Contact your county clerk’s office for drop-off locations.

New York - Register to Vote Online | Early Voting Information| NOTE: All voters are eligible to vote early in New York.

Ohio - Register to Vote Online | List of County Offices Where You Can Drop Off Ballots Starting October 6 | NOTE: All voters in Ohio can cast absentee ballots. Lucas, Miami and Summit counties have separate drop-off locations listed here.

Pennsylvania - Register to Vote Online | Apply for a Mail-In Ballot Online | Drop Off Mail-In Ballots At Your County Election Office Starting 3-5 Before the Election

Tennessee -  Register to Vote Online | Absentee Voting Information | NOTE: you must have, at minimum, a medical condition that makes you susceptible to COVID-19 to be an absentee voter | Email SOS Tre Hargett ( [email protected] ) requesting that he post drop off locations

Texas - Register to Vote (you can only register by mail!) | Email SOS Ruth Hughes ( [email protected] ) requesting that she post drop off locations!

Vermont - Register to Vote Online | Early and Absentee Voting Registration and Information | NOTE: All voters in Vermont can vote early starting September 21st, contact your city or town clerk (pdf of contact info) for information about your area

Did I miss your state? You can google “early voting [your state]” to find out detailed information. From my research, most early voting locations accept paper ballot drop-offs. Feel free to add to this post!

I came across an article from NPR the other day suggesting that unless something changes, ONE-THIRD of museums in the entire country (a loose term that includes certain places like aquariums as well) could be dead before the end of the year (source). A third! Can you even imagine the incalculable loss? And it goes so far beyond the services museums generally provide to the public, like field trips or a place to go on the weekends – not that those aren’t important. But museums do so much more than that. If these places die, where do their collections go? Often there’s no one else who can take them in, and as someone who has spent a significant amount of time in the bellies of museum collections, most people have no idea how many specimens or artifacts would become homeless and in danger of being lost forever. In the case of zoos and aquariums, what happens to their animals? Another friend of mine mentioned on Facebook the other day that the Aquarium of the Pacific is not only in dire need right now, but that a person they know who works with them has said that if they close, they’ll have to euthanize a significant number of their animals. And for the places that do survive, they won’t be unchanged. The science museum I used to work for isn’t in danger of permanently closing – yet – but still had make the incredibly difficult call to do a 39% reduction in staff positions, meaning that even when they reopen, the jobs that I and over a hundred and fifty people held before the pandemic – educating, running programs, engaging with visitors on an extra personal level – won’t exist anymore. Another friend of mine doing a museum studies degree has said that even the Smithsonian (the SMITHSONIAN) had to make a similar call and many of her friends doing work there are now jobless.

Your local museum isn’t getting help from the government. Museums, zoos, and aquariums have had to beg desperately for stimulus money that hasn’t manifested. These are non-profits, that rely on revenue from visitors and memberships for the most part, and as they are responsibly staying closed for everyone’s safety, they aren’t getting visitors. Without some form of help, they are going to drop off the face of the planet, or appear at the other end of this as gutted shells of their former selves. 

If you want to help, you have two options: get money into the hands of these places directly, or put pressure on your representatives to offer museums and other institutions like them some kind of federal stimulus money. If you can afford it, this is a great time to get a membership to a place you love – many of them are even offering special online programming for members, so it’s more than just a donation. Or you could make a donation, if that’s a more practical amount for you to spend, because at this point anything helps. And if you can’t do that (or even if you can), yell at your senators and representatives to do something. Many places even are offering guidelines for the sorts of things to talk about, like this script from the Monterey Bay Aquarium (although repetitive scripts are less likely to have an impact than individual e-mails, something is still better than nothing, and you could even read over it to figure out how to formulate your own message).

American Natural History Museum had to lay people off as early as MARCH.

I know a medium sized maritime museum on the northeast coast that went from 30+ staff members to SEVEN two weeks ago.

Monterey Bay Aquarium started a second round of layoffs two days ago (July 27 2020).

Museums and cultural institutions are being GROSSLY ignored in aid talks in both the senate and the house right now.

Without enough lube (natural or artificial), you WILL end up chafed. It hurts, it burns, and it can cause infection.

Even with enough lube, mucking about in your naughty bits too much–you know, the kind of thing you have to do for several hours a day if you’re a cam girl–can cause yeast infections and UTIs. UTIs can cause scarring that can cause intercourse (and masturbation) to become painful.

The kind of extreme, prolonged sexual intercourse that porn is known for can cause both rectal and vaginal prolapse, which is when your rectum or vagina literally falls out of your body due to being put under too much stress. Also, um. I’m just saying, doing the same motion with your wrists over and over without breaks, the way you’d have to do with a dildo, can cause carpal tunnel syndrome. There’s a similar condition called tennis elbow that can also occur. These women are going to suffer work-related injuries because of this. Some of those injuries will require surgery. And while sex-related prolapse is pretty rare, it does have a higher incidence among sex workers, and higher still among overworked sex workers.

So no, this cam girl is absolutely right. She cannot safely and effectively do her job for hours a day, every day, and the injury she suffers as a result could impair her ability to enjoy sex or, possibly, even kill her. What needs to be happening right now is that cam girls and other sex workers need to have unemployment and/or some kind of stimulus funds available to them, just like people in any other job, so they can work safely without worrying about going hungry.

ALL workers deserve fair wages, safe working conditions, and time for rest.

Pygmy Falcon

Great Hornbill

Wallcreeper

and

Cedar Waxwing

Red Crowned Crane

Brahminy Kite

Green Tree Swallow (I mean seriously - those are metallic teal feathers against stark white. Damn.) 

Bali Mynah

And, last but certainly not least, the cutest fucking puffball on this planet earth:

Hooded Pitta (or as like to call them little olives)

Coua

Mot-Mot

the Golden Pheasant,

and the Oriental Dwarf Kingfisher.

The Pukeko (why so extra for a common bird?)

SSO - SIM SPAWN OVERHAUL

DOWNLOAD: SFS / GOOGLE DRIVE / PATREON

Thank you to all my extremely helpful patrons, whose feedback and support was crucial in the creation of this mod.

This is a project that has been in my mind for more than a year, and I’m happy to finally be able to post it. It overhauls how the game chooses what sims to spawn in multiple situations. There are multiple packages, so check the descriptions below.

The “simspawnoverhaul” and “simspawnoverhaul-pets” packages are merged versions of the mod (one with smarterwalkbys and the other with smarterwalkbys-pets, respectively), meaning they include all other packages in a single one. If you want to download everything, I recommend picking one of them instead, so you won’t clutter your mods folder. Pick only one, according to the version of smarterwalkbys you want!

Check the bottom of the post for details on compatibility

You think your company pays you out of the goodness of their hearts? Or even out of “market pressure?” The “job market” is a myth perpetuated by the capitalists. Corporations would pay you nothing if they could get away with it. And you argue “oh, but if they paid me nothing I’d just go to another one.” Wrong. Because to maximize profits, they all want to pay you nothing. Corporations exist to maximize profits while reducing risk for investors. It’s part of their entire function to find ways to cut costs as much as possible, and that includes finding ways to pay you nothing.

Unions are your defense against that. You think all a union does is strike? If you pay union dues, a lot of that is spent on lobbyists in various governments reminding your lawmakers that you have rights as a living human being that a corporation should not be able to stomp all over. Unions hire lawyers so that if you’re fired for bullshit reasons, the union can stand up for you against your boss. They’re called unions because workers are uniting to pool resources so that they can stand up to these corporate overlords with more money than God. Unions exist because you might not have the words, resources, or time to fight workplace injustices all by yourself. That’s the whole fucking point.

✨banish gatekeepers✨

Man lynched in 2020.

Robert Fuller was murdered and they’re trying to cover it up ESPECIALLY now that lynching is a federal hate crime.

NO JUSTICE NO PEACE

REST IN POWER ROBERT

June 11th, 2020 Palmdale, California

City Manager J.J. Murphy acknowledged, “Maybe we should have said it was ‘an alleged suicide.’” Then he added: “Can I also ask that we stop talking about lynchings?”

our momentum is slowing down. we can’t let our dashes go back to normal when the world is not normal. so, if you are reading this, you are ~legally~ obligated to choose 2 numbers below; you must complete the task of those two numbers today. don’t pretend you didn’t see this. either do them right now or set a reminder to get it done before the sun goes down. the timer starts now. choose two. 

sign some petitions. LINK HERE. if change.org hasn’t accused you of being a bot yet, you haven’t signed enough. 

watch these youtube videos. LINK HERE. do not skip the ads. this is a way to help raise money without having to donate any.

sign up to get daily actions. LINK HERE. after filling out the form, you will receive texts Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays telling you what action to take. 

text or call for any of these victims. LINK HERE. this website is extremely helpful, well organized, and practically does all of the work for you.

donate some money. LINK HERE. if you have any more money to spare, please donate it to one of these funds.

follow every single one of these organizations on social media: blcklivesmatter, colorofchange, reclaimtheblock, showingupforracialjustice, and civilrightsorg

post these important sources to your social media. LINK HERE. you have no idea who it might help. 

read this article and forward it to at least one person. LINK HERE. 

watch this video explaining the racial wealth gap. LINK HERE. it’s really informative and only about 15 minutes long.