o shit

that one post of mine on this blog has over 121,000 notes now

(tw for a tiny bit of nsfw talk)

honestly anon, i feel you a lot. Like I’m 100% asexual, in the sense that I have zero interest in actually being in a sexual relationship with someone. I can’t imagine myself ever actually doing that. But also I’ll sometimes see people and.... kinda feel sexually attracted to them? Or at least physically attracted to them... its hard to explain honestly. A few years back on tumblr I saw a term that, i forget what the term was, but the definition was something along the lines of “when you identify as asexual, but still get sexually attracted to people/sexually aroused, but you have no desire to act on it”. something like that. The way I describe it to my friends is “vaguely horny” lol

I cannot define your sexuality for you, at the end of the day it is ultimately up to you to make the call, but yeah I’d say you can still identify as ace! Asexuality is a spectrum after all! My personal definition of asexuality for myself is “disinterest in engaging in sexual acts with another person, regardless of gender”, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find someone else physically attractive, or even get “vaguely horny” and, occasionally masturbate. Its the fact that I have zero desire/intent or need to ever have sex with another person that kind of, solidifies my asexuality for me.

(2) i don't know. shit's confussing, tbh. sometimes i think i'm a lesbian because i barely feel sexual attraction to men but like ??? i do feel other kinds of attraction ??? and i don't know, i'm just confused as hell and i don't know much about asexuality or demisexuality, and i don't know if i might fall somewhere in the spectrum. it honestly scares me because it seems like nowadays it's impossible to have a romantic relationship without being sexually involved. i'm sorry i just needed to vent

hey. you’re 100% not alone. i get confused myself sometimes too! and i honestly kinda relate, im asexual and biromantic, but sometimes i do find myself feeling sexual attraction but only towards women. romantically i prefer men (i.e i get crushes on guys more often). its confusing a lot of the times. just keep in mind that labels aren’t always everything, and its ok that you feel confused and unsure of what to label yourself at the moment! like you said, asexuality is a spectrum, and there are so many variations of it that people can fall under. 

i dont want to just say “theres someone out there for you!” bc it sounds silly, but i do also legit believe there is. I completely understand ur frustrations about feeling like its impossible to have a romantic relationship without sex. there are times when ive met people ive been kinda interested in, but find out later that nothing could ever happen bc they would be unwilling to compromise. its tough and it sucks and it can get annoying. but dont make yourself do anything you dont 100% want to do, and there WILL be someone you find that will be an amazing match. im 22 and ive never had a romantic partner, and while relationships aren’t my highest priority i sometimes get a lil down about it. it happens. just remember that its ok to be confused, its ok to not know exactly what label you best fit under, and its ok for your interests to change!