A World of Pure Imagination

Every few minutes something within Tori ached. It was only temporary, she knew. Soon enough he would have to leave and they would be apart again as they were forced to be. It hurt, so much so that she found herself sitting up and distancing herself from the man she loved.

"What's wrong?"

His voice was soft, full of concern. She knew trying to push him away like this was stupid when it had taken so long for them to reach this point, but this was just a dream. This would never be their reality.

"Victoria?"

His hand found her cheek and he brushed his thumb against it gently. She hated when he touched her scar. It just reminded her of all the things she hated. She'd argued with the Capitol doctors not to fix it after her Games. She never wanted to forget the sins she had committed and the people she had lost. She would look in the mirror every day and be reminded. It was her cross to bear.

"It's too hard," she finally whispered. The curtains at her back billowed as if echoing her thoughts. "I have so many dreams and yet... how? How could they possibly become a reality?"

Ajax leaned over and pulled her to his chest. "Surrender," he whispered gently.

Tori blinked a few times in confusion.

"Tell me your dreams," he clarified.

She pulled away to find his eyes, searching them for signs of... well... anything. She trusted Ajax, but part of her felt shy under his curious gaze.

"You're asking me to show what I'm holding so tightly. A reflection of my heart."

He nodded his head in confirmation.

"Why should I show you? Does it matter?" Can't you just let me go? she wanted to ask.

Hurt flashed across his face for a second before it was replaced with tenderness.

"I... I dream of many things," she began carefully. "I dream of a better world where my brothers and sister are free to love whomever they please. A world where my sister can pursue her talents without feeling helpless in a poor district that doesn't appreciate them. I dream of being free from the pain of the past. Of being forgiven for my sins. I..." She sucked in a breath, hesitating to go on for a moment. "I dream of us being together freely without borders and miles between us. Our families being able to unite. Little Ajaxes running around screaming with laughter. Hanging your terrible paintings on the walls," she laughed.

Her blue eyes gazed out the window. It was quiet out today, a peacefulness she hadn't experienced in a long time.

"I dream of being together with you until we breathe our last breath." She looked back at him and allowed a silence to fall over them for a moment. "But I can't hold these dreams forever, can I? If I give them to you now, will you take them away forever? Or can I dream again?"

“That’s not a good way to start off the evening.”

His voice dances to my ears. It’s deepened over the years, softened, but still holds that same lilting tease to it. There’s stubble on his face and I have to fight off the urge to reach out and brush my fingers over it. But his eyes, those eyes as blue as the ocean, they are still the same.

I smile at him as I lower myself onto my stomach on the dock. He swims up and props his arms on the wooden edge. Our faces are inches apart, our breaths becoming one in the space between us.

“I missed you,” I whisper to him.

He returns the feeling by reaching up and pecking my lips. Once. Twice. Then he lingers, the kiss deepening until I want–need more. But more will never be enough for us. With the way things are now, we can never share in any pleasure. It’s all take and no give and I can’t live that way. So I drown out the need and settle for this. His salty but oh so sweet kisses.

“You’ve been well?” He asks me as we finally separate.

“Well enough.”

I don’t tell him how I couldn’t concentrate on school because my mind was on returning here. I can’t tell him that I can only think about our secret trysts to the underwater caverns he takes me to. I can’t tell him he’s all I ever think about.

“Will you come in?”

I sit up and scooch to the edge as he moves back to make room. The water is cool against my skin as I slide into his arms and wrap my own around his neck.

We would spend the next month and a half like this. Laughing and loving until our time at the summer house loomed on the edge of complete.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“I don’t want to give you back.”

We rest against the shore of the underwater caverns, staring up at the glowing sea snails on the roof as if they were stars. Our fingers lace together naturally and he pulls me closer to him.

“Victoria,” he breaks the silence. His voice worries me. It’s small, uncertain–nothing like the Ajax I know.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… I just…” He rolls on his side to face me. “What if… what if we could be together. Not just during summers. Not just… like this. But really be together. Would you… Would you like that?”

I feel bad but I can’t hold back the light laugh. “What kind of question is that, Ajax?”

“Don’t laugh, I’m being serious.”

“Of course I would like that. You’re my favorite person… I mean merman. The only other person in my life that makes me happy is my brother. When I’m not here with you, I’m constantly consumed by thoughts of you. I worry about how you’re doing. If being king is wearing you down. If you’ll find a mermaid and fall in love with her and forget about me entirely.”

This time, Ajax can’t hold back his laugh. He reaches over and brushes hair from my face. “If I was going to find a mermaid to love, I would have done it by now. And I better be your favorite merman… I better be your ONLY merman.”

——————————————————————————–

He leans in and kisses me sweetly. We stay that way for some time before breaking apart.

“Come with me,” he whispers. “Come back to my home with me.”

I can tell he’s not joking by the tone of his voice and the way his eyes are locked on me. My heart twists in pain. Leave my home? Leave my family--leave Jack? Forever? As easy as it would be for me to just disappear, my heart screams in pain at leaving them behind. 

I sit up and shake my head. “I… I can’t.”

He props himself up and stares at me. “Why? I thought you said they don’t care about you. They never notice how you’re gone all night every night. Why would you stay with them?”

I can feel tears starting to build up in my eyes. “The same way you can’t leave your people. We love them too much. My family may not love me as much as they could, but it would hurt them so much if I just… left. I can’t do that to them. I can’t just leave them. I’m sorry.”

We are quiet for a bit, neither knowing what to say to the other. We can’t meet each other’s eyes. After years of being together comfortably, the air has suddenly turned stale and cold. 

“Can you take me home? Please.”

He nods and we leave the cavern for what would be the last time. As we reach the shallow shore, he releases me and I turn my back to him, not wanting him to see the tears that have begun to stream down my face.

“I’m really sorry, Ajax.”

I start walking away but I can still hear his voice just above the wind as I head toward the house.

“I’ll always love you, Victoria.”

Summer 40 Years Later

It’s been 40 years since I last visited the beach house. As life would have it, the year after the summer I turned Ajax down would prove to be difficult financially for my family. As they say, all good things must come to an end. That year my parents sold the beach house and we never returned after. 

Though it took some time, I gradually forgot about Ajax. I went to college, actually made some friends, and met a guy. We married and had 3 children. He was 44 when he died from a sudden heart attack. With the kids grown and out of the house, I found myself completely alone. 

It was a photo in a box that reminded me of the old beach house. Perhaps it was luck or maybe fate, but a quick search revealed the place was for sale. 

Three months later, I was back, taking in the marvelous renovations and the new large glass windows. I stood looking out over the water, finding the now old and rickety dock. A smile graced my lips as memories flooded my mind. 

A ripple in the water caught my eye, beckoned me to return to the dock. I pulled on a shawl and worked my way to the once familiar place. The wind tugged at my hair as I inhaled deeply with a smile. 

“Hello, old friend,” I whispered before turning to look at the edge of the dock behind me. 

He was older than I remembered--rightfully so. His eyes were rimmed with wrinkles from years of smiles and laughter. His hair and the stubble on his chin were peppered with small spots of gray, but his eyes--those eyes as blue as the ocean he swam were still the same. 

“That’s not a good way to start off the evening.”

His voice dances to my ears. It’s deepened over the years, softened, but still holds that same lilting tease to it. There’s stubble on his face and I have to fight off the urge to reach out and brush my fingers over it. But his eyes, those eyes as blue as the ocean, they are still the same.

I smile at him as I lower myself onto my stomach on the dock. He swims up and props his arms on the wooden edge. Our faces are inches apart, our breaths becoming one in the space between us.

“I missed you,” I whisper to him.

He returns the feeling by reaching up and pecking my lips. Once. Twice. Then he lingers, the kiss deepening until I want–need more. But more will never be enough for us. With the way things are now, we can never share in any pleasure. It’s all take and no give and I can’t live that way. So I drown out the need and settle for this. His salty but oh so sweet kisses.

“You’ve been well?” He asks me as we finally separate.

“Well enough.”

I don’t tell him how I couldn’t concentrate on school because my mind was on returning here. I can’t tell him that I can only think about our secret trysts to the underwater caverns he takes me to. I can’t tell him he’s all I ever think about.

“Will you come in?”

I sit up and scooch to the edge as he moves back to make room. The water is cool against my skin as I slide into his arms and wrap my own around his neck.

We would spend the next month and a half like this. Laughing and loving until our time at the summer house loomed on the edge of complete.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“I don’t want to give you back.”

We rest against the shore of the underwater caverns, staring up at the glowing sea snails on the roof as if they were stars. Our fingers lace together naturally and he pulls me closer to him.

“Victoria,” he breaks the silence. His voice worries me. It’s small, uncertain–nothing like the Ajax I know.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… I just…” He rolls on his side to face me. “What if… what if we could be together. Not just during summers. Not just… like this. But really be together. Would you… Would you like that?”

I feel bad but I can’t hold back the light laugh. “What kind of question is that, Ajax?”

“Don’t laugh, I’m being serious.”

“Of course I would like that. You’re my favorite person… I mean merman. The only other person in my life that makes me happy is my brother. When I’m not here with you, I’m constantly consumed by thoughts of you. I worry about how you’re doing. If being king is wearing you down. If you’ll find a mermaid and fall in love with her and forget about me entirely.”

This time, Ajax can’t hold back his laugh. He reaches over and brushes hair from my face. “If I was going to find a mermaid to love, I would have done it by now. And I better be your favorite merman… I better be your ONLY merman.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He leans in and kisses me sweetly. We stay that way for some time before breaking apart.

“Come with me,” he whispers. “Come back to my home with me.”

I can tell he’s not joking by the tone of his voice and the way his eyes are locked on me. 

“I… but… how?”

I’m surprised by how easily it could be. I only really have my brother. Aside from Jack, I don’t have many friends that would miss me, and my family would easily believe I had drowned--whether or on purpose or accident. As much as I would miss them, I wouldn’t really miss the world much. But how could a human just turn into a mermaid?

“Do you remember me telling you about my sorceress friend years ago?”

I nod my head.

“She can do it. She can use her magic to change you. I can help you get to her the same way we come here, then she can make the transformation happen. You’d be able to swim well, breathe and talk underwater, your vision and sound would be enhanced. But… But we would be together and you would be my queen.”

I can’t help but stare at him. It’s a lot to take in and I’m not sure how I should be reacting right now. Part of me easily accepted this as truth while part of me wondered if it would be right. 

“Can I… Can I think about it? I still have some time before we leave.”

“Of course,” he whispers gently against my lips before kissing them again. 

Five nights after our talk in the cavern, I’m at the dock. Ajax has just arrived and pulled me into the water. We are quiet for a bit, just wanting to enjoy each other’s company. 

“Ajax?” 

“Mmm?” 

“I-I’ve come to a decision. About your proposal I mean.”

He leans back to look at me. I can see uncertainty in his eyes.

“I… I’ll do it. I’ll go with you.” 

His eyes light up and he presses a kiss to me. “Really?” he asks after brushing my lips with his. 

“Really,” I smile back. I’m nervous, but after thinking and sleeping on it, I’ve made my decision. “Let’s go tonight. Right now.”

He doesn’t argue and nods in agreement. He pulls me to him and begins to swim out to sea. I watch over his shoulder as the beach house gets smaller and smaller. As we get further away, I close my eyes and send out a prayer of forgiveness to my family. 

“That’s not a good way to start off the evening.”

His voice dances to my ears. It’s deepened over the years, softened, but still holds that same lilting tease to it. There’s stubble on his face and I have to fight off the urge to reach out and brush my fingers over it. But his eyes, those eyes as blue as the ocean, they are still the same. 

I smile at him as I lower myself onto my stomach on the dock. He swims up and props his arms on the wooden edge. Our faces are inches apart, our breaths becoming one in the space between us. 

“I missed you,” I whisper to him. 

He returns the feeling by reaching up and pecking my lips. Once. Twice. Then he lingers, the kiss deepening until I want--need more. But more will never be enough for us. With the way things are now, we can never share in any pleasure. It’s all take and no give and I can’t live that way. So I drown out the need and settle for this. His salty but oh so sweet kisses. 

“You’ve been well?” He asks me as we finally separate. 

“Well enough.”

I don’t tell him how I couldn’t concentrate on school because my mind was on returning here. I can’t tell him that I can only think about our secret trysts to the underwater caverns he takes me to. I can’t tell him he’s all I ever think about. 

“Will you come in?”

I sit up and scooch to the edge as he moves back to make room. The water is cool against my skin as I slide into his arms and wrap my own around his neck. 

We would spend the next month and a half like this. Laughing and loving until our time at the summer house loomed on the edge of complete. 

“I don’t want to leave.”

“I don’t want to give you back.”

We rest against the shore of the underwater caverns, staring up at the glowing sea snails on the roof as if they were stars. Our fingers lace together naturally and he pulls me closer to him. 

“Victoria,” he breaks the silence. His voice worries me. It’s small, uncertain--nothing like the Ajax I know. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… I just…” He rolls on his side to face me. “What if… what if we could be together. Not just during summers. Not just… like this. But really be together. Would you… Would you like that?”

I feel bad but I can’t hold back the light laugh. “What kind of question is that, Ajax?”

“Don’t laugh, I’m being serious.”

“Of course I would like that. You’re my favorite person… I mean merman. The only other person in my life that makes me happy is my brother. When I’m not here with you, I’m constantly consumed by thoughts of you. I worry about how you’re doing. If being king is wearing you down. If you’ll find a mermaid and fall in love with her and forget about me entirely.”

This time, Ajax can’t hold back his laugh. He reaches over and brushes hair from my face. “If I was going to find a mermaid to love, I would have done it by now. And I better be your favorite merman… I better be your ONLY merman.”

Five nights after our talk in the cavern, I’m at the dock waiting for Ajax. It’s our second to last night together before we pack up and leave. The sun set an hour ago and the moon is taking its place in the sky, but the water around the dock is still and the air quiet. 

He’s not coming. My mind screams at me. He’s found someone else. He couldn’t handle the separation anymore just like you’ll one day lose your mind because of it. 

I pull my knees to my chest and press my face into them, trying to ignore the nagging thoughts in my head. 

“Victoria?” 

That voice. I look up and at the water, but he’s not there. “Great. Now I’m hearing things.”

“Pfft, ha ha,” laughter echoes behind me. Very real laughter. “You’re seriously too cute,” he whispers into my ear. 

I whirl around where I sit and find Ajax squatting just behind me. Legs. Very real human legs bent up to his chest, arms wrapped around them as he stares with a wicked grin.

“What… What is… Wh-What did you do?”

He points a finger at himself with a look of innocence. “What did I do? You mean what did you do. You made me like this, Victoria.”

My jaw falls open as I move to defend myself, but he’s faster. He straightens his body and wraps his arms around me. 

“I visited my sorceress friend. Do you remember me telling you about her years ago?” He asks, his breath running through my hair.

I nod against him.

“I-I gave it up. I gave up the throne and being a merman to be with you. Don’t be sad or upset for me,” he quickly fills in before I can say anything. “I did this because I want to.”

We pull away and I look into his eyes, searching them. “But,” I begin with uncertainty. “But what if… What if you become human and you find someone else better than me. There’s a lot of cute, pretty girls--”

He captures my lips with his own to silence me and I can’t protest. 

When he pulls away, he smiles. “You’re the only one for me, Victoria. There’s a lot I still have to figure out, but the one thing I know with absolute certainty, is that it’s you. It was always you and it will always be you.”

He kisses me again while his arms tighten around me. Our bodies--both very human bodies--press together before he breaks the kiss.