idk man i just work here

*flick him in the eyeball*

Oh shit I didn’t even read that this bitch is suicidal my bad *flick both eyes x2*

the phrase "this machine kills fascists" has gone through enough layers of meaning that I think it's come all the way back around to where the funniest thing you could put it on would be a gun

i just went to play this video and it made me click a box saying i wasnt gonna kill myself and then it gave me a 15 second ad for granola bars

it's not natural for candy to be $3.49. candy is supposed to be one dollar

candy should cost a nickel and we should all wear little propeller hats when we eat it

she butterfly on my effect til i (gravely serious) everything could have been different

there's been a robbery at the lourve???? please tell me they nicked the mona lisa it would be so fucking funny

i'm talking proper heist movie backflipping over lasers and cutting holes in the ceiling to slowly descend on a wire i want this shit to be FUNNY

@theshitpostcalligrapher

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HELP

nothing leaves an imprint on your psyche quite like early 2000s girl game websites