It's a clusterfuck here

I've seen ones today including photos, dates of birth, place of birth even!

So many women feel the need to mention their young children in their cover letters and CVs. Some young people slip in that they can't drive, a sort of pre-emptive "but it's okay I have a bus pass". So many people go and shove their mental health issues with anxiety and depression in there.

I remember one girl had clearly been told that she needed to explain any gaps in employment in the cover letter (terrible blanket advice), and so had described how she had developed depression after a traumatic miscarriage and spent a year in a terrible spiral getting worse and worse before getting on a new medication that, and I quote, "seemed to be finally starting to work." There are ways she could have written that information if she was desperately wanting to include it (I cannot stress enough that she should not have included a word of it), but the way it was written was almost literally a description of how she would be a horrendously unreliable employee who could dip out at a moment's notice and would never be seen again, while also demonstrating that she cannot determine appropriate professional communication.

(And for the record, the latter is the actual issue. I have no problems at all hiring employees with mental health issues, and did several times hire people in recovery to help them get back on their feet. Only once did that not work out; all others were amazing, and two became some of our best employees - one is now a manager there, in fact. But if an employee can't be trusted not to over share personal information with customers or colleagues, particularly triggering topics... That's a different issue. She did herself no favours at all there, and nor did whoever told her employers will always need employment gaps explaining in a cover letter).

Another guy once wrote in his cover letter "I want this job because after years of messing about I now have a little girl, so I need to sort my life out for her, and if I can't do it even for her then more fool me." Which, like, I admire the drive and passion. But again. Why are you telling an employer that you're a flight risk. Why are you telling us this.

One 18 year old volunteered, unforced, that he was gay. Just right in the cover letter. That he sent to a future employer.

And then, of course, the thousands that send in CVs and cover letters that are horrendously mis-spelled. Again, as an employer, I care dick-all if you're dyslexic or what have you; but I do care that you didn't think it was important to get someone to proofread a professional document for you before submission. That tells me quite a big thing about the level of professionalism I can expect from you in the role. It wasn't massively relevant for the job I was hiring for (escape room game master), but if we'd had slightly different job duties (e.g. writing official soc med posts), that would be the difference between getting an interview or not.

They haven't got the hang of pronouns yet, everyone is a 'he' because that's what they're called even if I just referred to Grandma as 'she' in the previous sentence. They've only recently stopped saying 'Good boy, Mumma!' when I do something like wash my hands. They're pretty good with understanding different biology but, on a social and language level, they've never divided people into different categories based on that or gender identity. They do know that I'm a girl/woman, it's just that the term holds similar weight to saying someone is tall or short or mentioning the colour of the eyes, and they apply the terms inconsistently. Their default setting to people and language has been gender neutral.

It makes sense that they've got a shaky grasp of the whole concept: they're four. They're starting to spell out words and do some addition but also still learning how to correctly say my full not-mum name and understand that their dad was once a little baby in Nanna's 'tummy'. They'll probably keep referring to every human on earth as a 'he' for awhile longer.

But over the last few days they've started insisting that pink is my second favourite colour (it isn't) after purple (which they know is my favourite and will remind me of multiple times a day). They don't do this to their dad.

When I said 'it's a nice colour, but no it's not a favourite' there was genuine confusion from one of them. Awhile later, he asked 'Mumma, you're a girl?' I said I was, and he was quiet and thoughtful.

Later that night he told me pink is one of my favourite colours again. When I asked why he thinks that he could give me no explanation other than a confused 'it's pretty?'

I said 'It is pretty. Do you like it?'

Keep in mind pink was, very recently, one of his favourite colours. But he shook his head adamantly, eyes wide.

His brother thought about it too, and said 'Oh yeah, it is pretty! I love pink!' which confused the newly-pink-disliking twin further and you could practically see the gears turning in his head as he remained silent.

He's four. Last month he loved pink. He still loves cuddling his (very pink) rainbow kitty-cat fluffy toy and telling me how cute it is, so I doubt it's a genuine aversion to the colour. And he seems to be insisting he doesn't like it because it's 'pretty,' and assumes that girls must like it for the same reason.

We think he learnt it from one of the few days they're at kindy, from another four-year-old.

Only four and already being taught that prettiness and certain colours aren't for them, and are only for girls.

Then last night, as we were getting ready for bed, he casually said 'Girls are bad at swimming.' The same way he'll tell me 'Spinosaurus looked a bit like a crocodile,' 'octopuses have three hearts,' or 'a hexagon has six sides.'

I gently asked him what he said, he repeated it, and when I asked why does he think girls aren't good at swimming he said 'because girls aren't, boys are good at swimming.'

I told him that wasn't true, girls and boys can both be good at swimming.

He accepted it easily, just a happy 'Oh!' to receive new information. Smiling at me.

'Am I a girl?' I asked him.

'Yeah, you're a girl Mumma.'

'And do you think I'm good at swimming?'

'Oh, yeah!'

He was actually very excited with this revelation, that I'm a girl and good at swimming. He was happy to know girls aren't bad at swimming, this wasn't some inherent belief. And it definitely didn't form from his own experiences - we're Australian, the twins have never been swimming with anyone who isn't good at it. And I'm the one normally in the pool with them and I'm a good swimmer even by Australian standards.

I don't think it came from their kindy teachers either.

This is something else another four-year-old has said.

They're four. FOUR. And already sexism and toxic masculinity is creeping into their conversations, pressuring them to stop liking certain colours and pretty things, and to diminish the capabilities of girls.

I was worried about the manosphere influence my boys would be exposed to as they got older, and how to talk to them about that and the rising numbers of young men who think women aren't as smart as them and shouldn't be able to vote or work after marriage, etc.

I didn't think it would start in kindergarten.

And if my boys have heard it, the little girls in their class probably have too. Do they disagree with it openly? Internalise it? Will they mention it to their parents and have it corrected? (Did one of them hear it from their parents - it could be a little girl sharing it, this does coincide with two new girls joining the class.)

Just... what the fuck.

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

There's generally going to be rooms dedicated to and build for warmth, the living quarters, both for nobles and their servants. This will be the central living tower, or parts of it called a Kemenate (literally 'room with a stove'), the great hall and work spaces around the kitchen. You can put the Kemenate on top of the hall to catch the big fires' and daily living's heat through the wooden floor, but you often can't put wooden stuff on top of the kitchens (that's a fire risk). If you have the money and space, you build a whole separate comfy place for living because you don't have to stay in the most defensible part of the castle all the time. These separate living buildings are also called Kemenate and are often build from wood, cob, brick etc.

People used to wear much more clothes indoors, including while sleeping, and those clothes were much thicker and sturdier than what we largely wear today. Every time you think of how cold those stone walls are, think about everyone wearing a linen shift + two-ish layers of wool on all body parts except hands and head + stockings and shoes + some kind of head-covering. In Ye Old Middle Ages, women are probably wearing a wimple, which is kind of like a modern Hijab in terms of coverage. People wear shifts, socks, and a head-covering to bed.

I think people used to radiators also really underestimate how much a large open fire/tiled stove heats up a room. Also, middle and northern Europe (as well as parts of Northern China) had and to this day have beds and benches build into tiled and cob stoves. Those fuck.

Beds are enclosed so you stay warm in them, either by curtains, in wall niches or with wood. There's also a type of bed that's inside a chest (like a coffin) so you can stuff your stuff inside during the day and put down the lid to use it as a bench. That's also another reason for people to always sleep in groups. Depending on the era, one of the jobs of a lady's maid or a retainer might literally be warming their master's bed. In early times and among servants, people also sleep in large groups in rooms together in general even outside a farming context, often with animals like pet dogs, too, which further warms everything up.

Walls are not bare, cold stone, but covered with a layer of plaster or cob, tiles or wooden panels, sometimes layered, and believe me, this makes such a difference. Source: I lived in a Ye Olde German Farmhouse with 70 cm thick stone walls and flag stone floor and all that converted to modern flats for a while.

On top of that you hang tapestries on the wall, which are not like modern printed cloth but basically wall rugs, sometimes several inches thick, and rugs or rushes (like a light cover of hay) on the floor on top of stone, tile, wooden panelling or a cob floor cover that goes over the heave flag stone. Pillows and blankets on all sitting surfaces, often on top of panelling (in the case of benches build into the stone). The roof of a room is also tiled, panelled or plastered. Upper stories will generally have wooden floors. Stories in a tower heat each other upwards, so the nicer rooms are further up.

The inner stone walls of a castle, even if stone and very thick, will heat up a few degrees in comparison to the outside walls if the castle is continually heated/lived in, and also trap heat inside, and this will make a difference. Inner walls might also be thinner and made of wood, cob or brick. You're defending against the outside, after all.

You put stuff in the windows. Holy shit. Screens of wood, horn, cloth or leather/hide, often treated for extra insulation. Why are these fantasy castles all so drafty.

recently saw this screenshot in the wild and lost my mind because i knew it wasnt supposed to say girl. its ladykins. its get off the cross ladykins. i know this because ladykins is not something my brain could make up and i remember ladykins. and i was sincerely wondering if someone put in the work to censor ladykins for some inscrutable purposes but then i looked it up and

The greatest, queerest allies in town:

Like I’m sorry but this is a clear attack on trans women and some people’s first reaction is to complain trans men weren’t included? Fun fact, trans men were included in deliberations! Conservative lawyers explicitly argued that trans men being allowed in men’s sports was proof that this ruling was not transphobia. Your ability to participate in sports with your own gender was actually used against trans women to ban us.

One of the only asexual activists is Yasmin Benoit, a Black woman. She has raised so much awareness for the community. She was the first asexual person to lead Pride in London, she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike movement and is THE leading voice for the community.

And you all will celebrate international asexuality day on April 6th but we wouldn't even have that if she hadn't cofounded it.