sillymaxxer

just saw the funniest thing on twitter where someone was broken up with bc they ate 7 croissants im CRYINGGGG

you can experience life altering devastating emotion and then your cat will throw up next to you & look at you like does this help ?

Hey man. Not my mountain not my eagle not my liver. Not my problem

i assumed this was porn

If you are attracted to a girl it's important to show her sinister artifacts and relics

hey i felt you right click me just now. are you seriously viewing my properties? pervert

The difference is that a fetish is bound to the floor while a kink is suspended from the ceiling

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

truly an honor and a privilege getting to witness everyone's first time in public ever every single time i go grocery shopping

I got an alert for an abducted baby this morning, which is obviously terrible and I hope they find it safe and sound, but they described the baby as having "blue eyes and Bald hair" and i can't stop thinking about it

while you were busy jacking off & cumming hard. it rained outside beautifully

what do you think i was jacking off to...?