sillymaxxer

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

i don't really think it's like that at all

Yeah, my biggest fear is not experiencing the found families I’ve read in books, so what?

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

my best friend linen my brother in arms cotton my partner wool my beautiful sister silk

our sick deranged enemy polyester....

the demon lord, prince of lies, "Vegan Leather"...

Stevejob from a guy with glasses and a turtleneck

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it