uhhhhh

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

“oh one time my—” (abruptly stops myself from saying the words “tumblr mutual” in public) “overseas colleague”

Tumblr is truly a prison. I’ll be like “I hate the way this website works. Broken filtering, broken search option, shitty moderating, glitches.” and then I’ll try to use any other social media platform and find it is somehow worse.

A BIRD POOPED ON MY HEAD ON THE WAY TO WORK.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THE BIRD WAS ON THE WAY TO WORK?

DONT MAKE ME ANGRIER THAN I AM

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

I've got to find myself more macrophage

Now Hiring: macrophages

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

love the genre of discourse that’s like “the world used to be [thing it never was] but now society is [I’m over thirty]”

early 21st century americans were so modest that they would regularly censor their own feet in video and artistic depictions, and it was considered improper to expose your feet in public — dismissed with cries of "put those grippers away"

Dealing with burnout is sooooooooooooooo easy all you need to do is operate at 40% indefinitely and be kind of mad at yourself the whole time.

*grasping at straws* My straws!

does anyone know how to make a desicion

never mind i figured it out it's like when tracy chapman said leave tonight or live and die this way