my seanoning D:

bitches hate me for my earnest whimsy and my pathological degree of avoidant behavior

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

hey guys im making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so i can flip them over

Randy its been five minutes flip your sticks

snnnnzzzzz

we could have a disgusting thing going on if you want

my angel wings just burst from my back in public and sprayed blood everywhere and a small child called me a homosexual

penultimate is such a good word. its like....maybe the second best word

New shoes

unhelpful aubergines

let’s all gain weight and get strong as fuck

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine

"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."

we've all heard about the male gaze in media, but we've yet to explore the equally important sommelier gaze

the only fun addition to this post

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks