are you writing from the heart?

cigarettes and list of maritime disasters on wikipedia on a cool summer night

matt neurotically admitting to things when he's stressed out during an interview generates so much sickly pathos material for me to energy vampire off of. "yeah so my mother told me i was ugly and unlikable and untalented as a child. i'd go to school and everyone would treat me like a little boy genius but then i'd come home and my mom would be like '🙄 the autist is back' haha. anyway happy to be here success feels amazing. i'm getting married the day after this piece of shit premieres so i don't have time to process anything. it will be on my best friend's (picture the words radiating a sickly green glow) birthday."

The reason the Beatles are the greatest band of all time isn't because they revolutionised music or whatever it's because they wrote a song about Killing People With Hammers

the detached brutality of all these “women need to have more babies” thinkpieces man

split your body wide open for the stock market

Mommy doesn't get it. Explain the joke. Explain the joke for Mommy.

at the met off a 20 bag like allen take my photo

Gimme 1 margarita and I saw off my leg!