I think we need to have higher standards as transmascs. Yesterday I saw someone saying "my friends told me T is poison but it's not like they discouraged me from transitioning" and friend, I think telling you that the HRT you want is poison counts as discouraging you from transitioning
"my boyfriend says he still loves me and sees me as a man but won't use my pronouns and says I still have to wear lingerie in bed and won't let me look into top surgery"
"everyone at work is supportive but they still say I'm one of the girls and they went to HR when I corrected them on my pronouns"
"all my friends love trans men, they said I was their sweet bean, but now that I have facial hair and I've started working out they're getting distant".
Real takes and real experiences I know of. I am begging trans men to work on their confidence in a world that only pretends to tolerate us.
Also trans men let people infantilize them way too often (“sweet bean” comment being an example). Its insane the shit people get away with because “theyre not hatecriming me so its fine”
You got to stand up for yourselves. This applies to all marginalized demographics, not just trans men. Stop letting people treat you like an other.
And if you know someone who’s being treated that way but won’t find their voice, encourage them and help them. Listen to what they say, because everybody’s situation is slightly different. And also just… treat people the way you’d want to be treated for fucks sake.
The thing you're missing is that trans men "let people infantalise them" because we're severely punished for not doing that. Like the sweet bean example is about the person's friend group dropping them once they stopped allowing themselves to be infantilised. You can't just tell us to stand up for ourselves without looking at how we're punished when we do it.
If you know someone who's being treated that way I think the best thing to do it make it clear to them that you'll support them no matter how masculine they get, make good on that promise when the rest of the group tries to drop them, and to stand up for them when it happens.
