I'm him! I been him! I will continue to be him!

me personally i just don't think anyone needs headlights powerful enough to light up twelve miles of road at a time

Okay I’ve made fun of my cats before for being bad at catching bugs but they’ve been honing their skills apparently because I’ve seen them take down three houseflies this evening

Previously they have chased the same exact bug all damn day with no progress but today they were on a roll. Fly caught in midair. Eaten. Full body leap to catch it mid flight.

all movies are for children because the moving image is inherently juvenile. to be entertained by it even moreso

sorry but once you notice how often ppl use a southern accent as shorthand for being unintelligent you can never unsee it. classism is baked so deeply and why are you acting like anyone who talks the way my grandfather talks is stupid.

Okay, if you are tired then you won't be able to read. There I say it. No one else want to say it. It is strange. If you are tired, if you cannot finish a book that's a given. That's why you need to read...at work. You need to steal your reading time from your employers.

See a young lady gnawing ineffectually at the plastic carapace of her morning Dunkin and, wishing to do her a solid, I draw the collapsible knife I keep on my person at all times. It's important to be nonthreatening, so I offer it to her hilt-first. Then I remember what's on the hilt, and I panic, and I flee, leaving her holding my (very precious) knife with the naked trans woman scrimshaw

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.