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The Java Ring is a ring-mounted iButton with a Java virtual machine that is compatible with the Java Card 2.0 specification. These were given to attendees of the 1998 JavaOne conference.
Java Runs On 9 Billion Devices Because Of Bullshit Like This
Java Card is one of those things where you learn about it and it burrows into your brain and every time you just try to exist in the world there’s a little voice reminding you that Java Card is real and it’s all around you and it wants to hurt you.
Every single time you see a smart card of basically any kind, anything with those contact pads on the side of a credit card or the SIM card in your phone or really practically any portable cryptographic processor (because that’s what all those are) what you have there is a Java Card. Almost certainly.
(there are other kinds of cryptographic processor OS, including BasicCard which never took off. Java Card is the most common.)
Java Cards are tiny self-contained highly secure cryptographic processors which are intended to be nigh-uncrackable even if you sit down with a vat of acid and an electron microscope. The chips have sheets of iron and copper so that they can’t be x-rayed, they are made of oversized transistors that can’t be influenced with side-channel attacks, there’s almost no RAM to speak of anyways, they are convoluted and obscure and in general while you ~can~ crack them, doing so requires particularly uncommon expertise and a lot of care.
They also run Java Virtual Machines, because of course they do.
This isn’t entirely nonsensical, although of all the languages to choose, Java is a particularly heavy one for such a constrained environment. Java is very portable, and Java is very resilient to leaking even when programmed by relatively incompetent cryptographers. Writing your crypto code in C means you’re very likely to accidentally leak information somewhere, whereas Java can keep that all on lock for you.
But it’s inelegant, and it’s lacking in any romance, like many things in the real world. Java Card enables you to shell out the design of your cryptoprocessor to someone who would not normally be skilled enough to write a proper cryptoprocessor and in the process, moves the responsibility for security up to a higher tier: the Java VM.
Real thing that changed how i write: I started asking "what does this character think is wrong with them" and separately "what is actually wrong with them." Those two things are almost never the same. She thinks she's too much. She's actually terrified of being too little. He thinks he's bad at commitment. He's actually just never met someone he trusted enough. The gap between their diagnosis of themselves and the real thing, that's your character arc right there. you don't have to explain it. just write both.
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Living the Dream: Life is Like a Hurricane...Here in...Quitland...(Part 22)
Start remembered they're supposed to be a demon and tried to look scary...should I be concerned about this...?
Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. That was until the last episode of "60 of the same guy" attacked...
💬 21 🔁 53 ❤️ 279 · Living the Dream: The World ends with Quitland (Part 21) · They can do that because Jo was the first face they saw...(w
Part 23 is out!!!
FINALLY we're back! If you've been following my posts the last few days, you'll know I was real busy and was hardly even able to check Quitland in multiple days. But I was able to squeeze in some time in my stupidly busy week and find some Quitland quontent (trademarked). So let's jump straight into it!
Today's episode has a main character. It's a fan favorite Quit too; you know her, you love her, it's....
Quit 23!!!! She decided that all's fair in love and war...what do I mean? Well...
Gasp!!!! The iconic evil cultist duo of 23 and 40 might become a couple?!? Finally, I've wanted this island to have an evil power couple for ages and we might actually get one! Yippee!
...Wait...what if 23 is only doing this to try and make a new Quitling with 40?!? Using an empty vessel didn't really work how they wanted...perhaps they thinking a living vessel is the only way to REALLY bring in the Anti-Quit...? Uh oh...
We saw the love, now it's time for the war...
23 got into a fight with her numbered-seatmate, 24! Is this conflict related to the church...? Is 24 making her angers with the evil doings of 23 known and now they're fighting...? Or is it unrelated? Maybe 24 stepped on 23s foot or something.
Either way, whatever it was...
23 wasn't having it! She's seriously pissed. This actually happened like 10~ minutes ago so we'll have to wait and see the thrilling conclusion to this clash of ideals in the next episode...maybe...
Speaking of fights, I may have made an oopsie.
So I've made the fact that I was busy this week very clear, and usually not being able to check on Quitland doesn't have many real consequences. But...I think it may have this time.
A few days ago, a fight broke out:
13 and 41 started beefing. I had taken this photo in the morning right before I had to leave for work...so I wasn't able to sit around and wait for either Quits to try and make-up.
...and then I was gone for a few days after that because I wasn't home and I didn't have my Switch with me...and...well...
Yeah...I guess this is kind of my fault. Had I been able to check on Quitland more, I could've potentially avoided this...but I guess what's done is done. At the very least I don't think 13 or 41 were ever a compelling friendship duo, but maybe one of you guys will correct me on that.
With that out of the way, let's go to the obligatory Start segment:
I've had a few people tell me I should give Start the black sheep costume because they are literally the black sheep of the island. I think that's really clever...but sadly the other colored sheep costumes have yet to appear in my clothing shop. So...I may have compromised:
The bunny costume enhances their power. It gives them a +5 magic stat.
Oh I also turned them into a fairy.
...and they loved it. How can they reach such maximum goobage?!?
We also had a new ability of Starts happen today:
So I guess Start has slight psychic abilities. This is somewhat terrifying to think about.
They might've already been using this power...because...
17 and their partner 51 are not getting along. Maybe Start has been whispering things into their non-existent ears while I'm not looking...they may be a cute little goober, but they ARE a spirit-demon possessed doll thing. They can be a little evil. As a treat.
But wait...! When I checked on 17 and 51 a day later...
Huh?!? NOW they're getting along?!? Start your psychic powers are wearing off...c'mon little guy be you gotta be MORE evil if you're gonna bag 17!!!
Oh also the interaction thing ended up just being them talking about random stuff so who cares
Next: A long-awaited Harper update?!?
What the hell?!? 54 also showed interest in Jo...and now they're curious about Harper too?!?
I always thought 54 was a weird Quit, but now I'm even more suspicious. 54 is the only non-roommate Quit to even try and interact with either of the Quitlings (besides 35)...and they interacted with BOTH?!? What's your angle 54?
Maybe I'm being too judgemental though. Maybe 54 sees that these kids need guidance and is trying to be their friends to make their lives better. Maybe 54 can be the key to Jo and Harper finally becoming friends...? They're like the Quitlings monkey-shaped fairy godmother...
(Insert a super awesome scene transition here)
Romance time!!!!
A new crush formed related to 59. I'm pretty sure the Crab Crews costumes all give them Quit pheromones or something because they ALWAYS show up in new romances...
...but I guess 59 took a shower and the pheromones wore off, because just a day later:
And [The Coin] decided...
...that the island needed a new mutual crush duo! That's nice.
Finally...after over a month of playing and having almost the maximum amount of island residents...
...We FINALLY had our first all-time favorite food! I cannot believe it took this long. And the fact that I did that whole experiment with burgers only for a veggie-burger to be what ends up being the first all-time favorite food is even more funny.
And that's everything! Sorry again for the long period between Quitland episodes, everyone was so supportive when I made posts about it it brought a tear to my eye. Thank you everyone! I love the small little Quitland community that's sprouted up, I would've never expected this to end up this way but I couldn't be happier!
Alright alright I'm done being mushy, let's see some funny images and then I'll be off to bed. I'm seepy...
^ how the entire communities brains looked when Start joined the island.
Seeing 8 members of a house all come together to hype up one resident is awesome. I lost my shit when Jo showed up on the tv...
I'm...I'm gonna choose not to think about what this implies.
Oh no! The Dark Lord stole 17s face...! Start, you're gonna have to go on a journey throughout Miitopia to get it back!
Quitting...Starting...are the two things really as separated as 23 seems to believe...?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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