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The Java Ring is a ring-mounted iButton with a Java virtual machine that is compatible with the Java Card 2.0 specification. These were given to attendees of the 1998 JavaOne conference.
Java Runs On 9 Billion Devices Because Of Bullshit Like This
Java Card is one of those things where you learn about it and it burrows into your brain and every time you just try to exist in the world there’s a little voice reminding you that Java Card is real and it’s all around you and it wants to hurt you.
Every single time you see a smart card of basically any kind, anything with those contact pads on the side of a credit card or the SIM card in your phone or really practically any portable cryptographic processor (because that’s what all those are) what you have there is a Java Card. Almost certainly.
(there are other kinds of cryptographic processor OS, including BasicCard which never took off. Java Card is the most common.)
Java Cards are tiny self-contained highly secure cryptographic processors which are intended to be nigh-uncrackable even if you sit down with a vat of acid and an electron microscope. The chips have sheets of iron and copper so that they can’t be x-rayed, they are made of oversized transistors that can’t be influenced with side-channel attacks, there’s almost no RAM to speak of anyways, they are convoluted and obscure and in general while you ~can~ crack them, doing so requires particularly uncommon expertise and a lot of care.
They also run Java Virtual Machines, because of course they do.
This isn’t entirely nonsensical, although of all the languages to choose, Java is a particularly heavy one for such a constrained environment. Java is very portable, and Java is very resilient to leaking even when programmed by relatively incompetent cryptographers. Writing your crypto code in C means you’re very likely to accidentally leak information somewhere, whereas Java can keep that all on lock for you.
But it’s inelegant, and it’s lacking in any romance, like many things in the real world. Java Card enables you to shell out the design of your cryptoprocessor to someone who would not normally be skilled enough to write a proper cryptoprocessor and in the process, moves the responsibility for security up to a higher tier: the Java VM.
Real thing that changed how i write: I started asking "what does this character think is wrong with them" and separately "what is actually wrong with them." Those two things are almost never the same. She thinks she's too much. She's actually terrified of being too little. He thinks he's bad at commitment. He's actually just never met someone he trusted enough. The gap between their diagnosis of themselves and the real thing, that's your character arc right there. you don't have to explain it. just write both.
Living the Dream: Life is Like a Hurricane...Here in...Quitland...(Part 22)
Start remembered they're supposed to be a demon and tried to look scary...should I be concerned about this...?
Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. That was until the last episode of "60 of the same guy" attacked...
💬 21 🔁 53 ❤️ 279 · Living the Dream: The World ends with Quitland (Part 21) · They can do that because Jo was the first face they saw...(w
Part 23 is out!!!
FINALLY we're back! If you've been following my posts the last few days, you'll know I was real busy and was hardly even able to check Quitland in multiple days. But I was able to squeeze in some time in my stupidly busy week and find some Quitland quontent (trademarked). So let's jump straight into it!
Today's episode has a main character. It's a fan favorite Quit too; you know her, you love her, it's....
Quit 23!!!! She decided that all's fair in love and war...what do I mean? Well...
Gasp!!!! The iconic evil cultist duo of 23 and 40 might become a couple?!? Finally, I've wanted this island to have an evil power couple for ages and we might actually get one! Yippee!
...Wait...what if 23 is only doing this to try and make a new Quitling with 40?!? Using an empty vessel didn't really work how they wanted...perhaps they thinking a living vessel is the only way to REALLY bring in the Anti-Quit...? Uh oh...
We saw the love, now it's time for the war...
23 got into a fight with her numbered-seatmate, 24! Is this conflict related to the church...? Is 24 making her angers with the evil doings of 23 known and now they're fighting...? Or is it unrelated? Maybe 24 stepped on 23s foot or something.
Either way, whatever it was...
23 wasn't having it! She's seriously pissed. This actually happened like 10~ minutes ago so we'll have to wait and see the thrilling conclusion to this clash of ideals in the next episode...maybe...
Speaking of fights, I may have made an oopsie.
So I've made the fact that I was busy this week very clear, and usually not being able to check on Quitland doesn't have many real consequences. But...I think it may have this time.
A few days ago, a fight broke out:
13 and 41 started beefing. I had taken this photo in the morning right before I had to leave for work...so I wasn't able to sit around and wait for either Quits to try and make-up.
...and then I was gone for a few days after that because I wasn't home and I didn't have my Switch with me...and...well...
Yeah...I guess this is kind of my fault. Had I been able to check on Quitland more, I could've potentially avoided this...but I guess what's done is done. At the very least I don't think 13 or 41 were ever a compelling friendship duo, but maybe one of you guys will correct me on that.
With that out of the way, let's go to the obligatory Start segment:
I've had a few people tell me I should give Start the black sheep costume because they are literally the black sheep of the island. I think that's really clever...but sadly the other colored sheep costumes have yet to appear in my clothing shop. So...I may have compromised:
The bunny costume enhances their power. It gives them a +5 magic stat.
Oh I also turned them into a fairy.
...and they loved it. How can they reach such maximum goobage?!?
We also had a new ability of Starts happen today:
So I guess Start has slight psychic abilities. This is somewhat terrifying to think about.
They might've already been using this power...because...
17 and their partner 51 are not getting along. Maybe Start has been whispering things into their non-existent ears while I'm not looking...they may be a cute little goober, but they ARE a spirit-demon possessed doll thing. They can be a little evil. As a treat.
But wait...! When I checked on 17 and 51 a day later...
Huh?!? NOW they're getting along?!? Start your psychic powers are wearing off...c'mon little guy be you gotta be MORE evil if you're gonna bag 17!!!
Oh also the interaction thing ended up just being them talking about random stuff so who cares
Next: A long-awaited Harper update?!?
What the hell?!? 54 also showed interest in Jo...and now they're curious about Harper too?!?
I always thought 54 was a weird Quit, but now I'm even more suspicious. 54 is the only non-roommate Quit to even try and interact with either of the Quitlings (besides 35)...and they interacted with BOTH?!? What's your angle 54?
Maybe I'm being too judgemental though. Maybe 54 sees that these kids need guidance and is trying to be their friends to make their lives better. Maybe 54 can be the key to Jo and Harper finally becoming friends...? They're like the Quitlings monkey-shaped fairy godmother...
(Insert a super awesome scene transition here)
Romance time!!!!
A new crush formed related to 59. I'm pretty sure the Crab Crews costumes all give them Quit pheromones or something because they ALWAYS show up in new romances...
...but I guess 59 took a shower and the pheromones wore off, because just a day later:
And [The Coin] decided...
...that the island needed a new mutual crush duo! That's nice.
Finally...after over a month of playing and having almost the maximum amount of island residents...
...We FINALLY had our first all-time favorite food! I cannot believe it took this long. And the fact that I did that whole experiment with burgers only for a veggie-burger to be what ends up being the first all-time favorite food is even more funny.
And that's everything! Sorry again for the long period between Quitland episodes, everyone was so supportive when I made posts about it it brought a tear to my eye. Thank you everyone! I love the small little Quitland community that's sprouted up, I would've never expected this to end up this way but I couldn't be happier!
Alright alright I'm done being mushy, let's see some funny images and then I'll be off to bed. I'm seepy...
^ how the entire communities brains looked when Start joined the island.
Seeing 8 members of a house all come together to hype up one resident is awesome. I lost my shit when Jo showed up on the tv...
I'm...I'm gonna choose not to think about what this implies.
Oh no! The Dark Lord stole 17s face...! Start, you're gonna have to go on a journey throughout Miitopia to get it back!
Quitting...Starting...are the two things really as separated as 23 seems to believe...?
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Living the Dream: The World ends with Quitland (Part 21)
They can do that because Jo was the first face they saw...(wait, all the Quits have the same face anyway...)
Weewoo weewoo! Yeah I'm gonna have to see your license and last episode of "60 of the same guy".
💬 4 🔁 37 ❤️ 192 · Living the Dream: Life or Bath for the Quitland (Part 20) · They've literally only been here for a day and Start has gon
Part 22 is out!!!
So I ended last episode saying I would hold a poll on what to do with Start and Harper, and the results came in: you guys wanted me to introduce Start to Harper but go no further then that, so let's start with how that went!
Harper started by immediately attempting to attack Start.
Which, y'know what...fair.
and then...um...? I don't think Start understands the concept of reproduction because they just seem to believe Harper is some alternate universe Quit. So I guess this gave us an important lore fact: Start has never heard of sex.
After that someone suggested I introduce Start to 35, their love rival. And I liked that idea, so I went ahead and did it!! We don't need to make a poll for everything...right?
Keeping on the "Start" theme, today I decided to give Start two new pieces of clothing (since I kinda forgot to yesterday, it was a long day lol).
First were these cute little suspenders (which they ended up loving????)
and next was this pretty stylish getup that I thought they'd look good in. If you guys have any costume suggestions for me to give to Start, let me know (of course I can only give them the items the clothing shop gives me, though...so it may take a while for them to actually get them if they never show up in the shop)
After introducing Start to Harper and 35, they didn't interact much. But you wanna know who they DID interact with?!?
That's right!!! The current fandom OTP!!! Funnily enough I was just about to bring Start over to 17 to have them do their daily interaction, but 17 just did it himself!
And...well...I also gave Start a new little quirk...so let's just post the video so you can hear their new voice and see how the attempted friendship went.
Yup. I gave them the "speaks creepy" quirk. So now they sound even more weird.
But yeah! Unsurprisingly they became friends, and 17 even showed interest in a Start uprising...which probably made Start fall even harder for him.
...so let me talk about something real quick I don't think I've ever actually given focus to: nicknames.
Throughout the whole series, if any Quits became friends, I'd have the nickname between the friends just be the Quits number spelled out. For example, when 28 and 48 became friends, 48 would call 28 "Twenty-Eight" and vice versa with "Forty-Eight". The exceptions to this were Quit 1 and the Quitlings, friends with 1 would just call him "Original" and friends of the Quitlings would call them by their names without the "Quitling" part (so just "Jo" and "Harper").
...But as I've made abundantly clear; Start is no Quit! So they don't abide by these rules...and the Quits don't fully understand Start either. SO after an amazing suggestion I got in my asks...I've decided to be a little silly with Starts nicknames:
Nicknames for Quits that are friends with Start will be custom and based on Starts interactions with that Quit. Here, because Start loves 17, they lovingly call him "Seventeeniekins".
But for the nicknames the Quits give to Start...they cannot truly comprehend Start, so they accidentally say their name wrong. 17 accidentally says "Slarp" whenever he attempts to say Starts name. Like some kind of mental-block is preventing him from truly comprehending Start. And this will bode true for all Quits except the ones who live within the Church of Anti-Quit, since those Quits can understand Starts existence perfectly fine.
OK, I think that's everything relevant with Start, let's move on to the Quits shall we?
Today TOIR (The OTP Is Real) finally, after a long while, had its eighth member.
The Quit in the green hat is 33, or "Ninja Quit". The one married to 30. She had asked for a new hat so I gave her something that was green like her old hood.
It was...whichever Quit had a crush on 13, that did the honors. This means TOIR is the first house on the island to hit the max house size of 8 members! Hope this doesn't prevent the two married couples inside from having kids...
Oh...also...
FINALLY!!! DEMON QUIT WILL OFFICIALLY JOIN THE ICSS HOUSEHOLD!!!...but of course...things don't always go the way we want...
Ugh!!!! What the heck Demon Quit?!? Are you officially out of ICSS or something?!? Did you move over to the Crab Crew while I wasn't looking?!?
I was absolutely devastated when this happened. I guess it was because Demon isn't currently getting along with Biker, so hopefully they get on better terms and Biker asks again. Sigh.
A bit random, but for the first time in ages another Quit actually showed interest in one of the Quitlings:
And it was Mushroom Quit?!? Now Jo's non-roommate relationships include Monkey and Mushroom...who are both members of the Crab Crew...man they have been sneakily taking over the island, haven't they?
OK, romance time!
I'm not gonna lie, I'm a massive fan of this first pairing...
27 previously had a crush on 51 (who, by the way, is currently dating 17...everything goes back to 17...), but I guess she felt like flipping the number around because now she wants to crush on 15. And [The Coin] even chose for 27 to start crushing on 15 instead, so that works out.
Why do I like this pairing, though? Well...
Quit 15 is just really cute!!! He's the one who started the hair style revolution, and he has this big red bow and red outfit...ugh, I'm a sucker for the "bad girl x cute guy" pairing...so I want them to start going out!!!!! But sadly for 27 a few other Quits also have a crush on 15, so they've got pretty big rivalries to deal with. Maybe 27s mean girl persona will make them all run away in fear?!?
OK next:
Mutual crushing!!!...
...Wait a minute, this pairing is crazy perfect. 24 swapped is 42. They're both wearing kinda fancy black outfits. I did not do this on purpose. What the heck? I kinda love it...
And finally:
45 crushing on 53. I'd say this is another nothingburger relationship, but everything with 17 was once "nothingburger relationship" territory until it suddenly became the talk of the town. So who knows? Maybe 45 is actually secretly super relevant and I just forgot what they did. I can never know anymore.
Alrighty, I believe that's everything of relevance today! So we're onto the funny images as foretold:
Start has 17s back...c'mon 17 dump 51!!!!!!!!
Slightly evil-looking brunch.
30 and 33 continue to be in a loving relationship. Which is crazy if you remember how they started dating...
I...uh...kinda forgot about this Quit and their depression...whoops.
I've got a really busy week coming up, so I don't know how active I'll be these coming days. But just know I always find time to check this blog...even if I'm not making a daily Quitland post...!!!
