It's stupid but it came to me in a dream… (Not a joke, I literally had a dream like this. I had to draw it)
art blog(derogatory)

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
we're not kids anymore.

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@nurgletwh
It's stupid but it came to me in a dream… (Not a joke, I literally had a dream like this. I had to draw it)

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<screaming silently into the abyss>
It's kind of tragic how homophobia affects insecure men.
Like sometimes they want to experiment with a bit of anal and instead of just buying a sex toy and some lube like a normal person, they instead shove random objects up their ass that inevitably get stuck and then they try to get them out by themselves which makes things worse and then they lie to doctors about it and like this all leads to all kinds of extra complications like internal damage, risk of infections, bleeding, the fall of Yugoslavia, etc.
Come on guys, just buy a dildo. It's way safer and it leads to way fewer problems.
"i have no idea what this is."
Swiss Cheese Mono Font by Heirloom

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Once I was doing fieldwork with someone from Europe and said “careful, there’s a rattlesnake over there.” And she rushed over like I’d said there was a quetzal.
I said “Ma’am please, we’re three hours from a hospital!” and she said
1.) I don’t understand how that can be
2.) But I’ve never done fieldwork from a car before (!!!) so I’ll take your word for it.
3.) Did you just call me ma’am? Like a cowboy?
We drove through the Los Angeles megacity together — and at one point were stuck in traffic.
“Heeeey”, she said, like someone gently broaching a topic I should have noticed, “Why does the lane next to us have diamond shaped symbols on it?”
That is! A subtle and friendly way of asking why we’re sitting in traffic when there’s a carpool lane Right There! I laughed and pulled into the lane and started driving.
Unfortunately. That isn’t what she was implying, she was genuinely asking. So we were stuck in traffic, she asked about what was clearly a breakdown or emergency access lane, and I laughed and started driving in it. She was Alarmed.
“Hello! Excuse me! We can’t drive in this lane! No one else is driving in this lane!!”
“Oh! I should have said — this lane is for people with more than one person in their car.”
“That is RIDICULOUS. You are lying. You are lying about what this lane is for and we’ll get arrested! (ma’am it’s fine but if it weren’t it would be more of a “ticket” situation) we’ll get a “ticket”! (Ma’am again it’s fine but were it not I alone would get the ticket) because that IS NOT the purpose of this lane. That is a RIDICULOUS lie.”
“I’m sorry, I should have said — I thought you were being subtle about my oversight. Please observe the carpool sign.”
“I don’t know what a carpool is and I don’t believe you.”
“How about you look at all the cars stuck in traffic and see how many have more than one driver, and if there are at least five I’ll get back into the traffic jam.”
“FINE!”
<a pause>
(With dawning horror) “none of these cars have more than one person in them.”
“I know.”
“None of these cars have more than one person!!”
“If you weren’t here I’d be right there with them.”
“OK but there was no train to where we needed to go.”
“There’s no train to where they needed to go either.”
“HOW.”
Later that day:
“I know McDonalds and Burger King sell Burgers, but what does Wendy’s sell?”
“Burgers”
“And Sonic?”
“Burgers.”
“Jack in the Box?”
“Burgers.”
“In’n’Out?”
“Look, It’s burgers all the way down.”
She hopped off a plane, went camping on Catalina with her husband and his lab, and then I showed her a rattlesnake, dragged her through heavy brush, took her (food) shopping in Beverly Hills, illustrated American car dependency and love of burger, and threatened to shoot someone trying to break into our hotel room. (I did not have a gun) She speed-ran the US American experience in eight days.
I actually checked what the major american fast food chains are for this and 99% of the field is burger, pizza, fried chicken, or mexican.
Don't worry, I got you!
The most tonally incoherent movie night ever.
I have never understood people who understand what's happening with their bodies. Like, I was talking to a friend once and she was explaining that she'd swapped the salad greens in her usual lunch from like a romaine mix to kale and "could really feel the difference it was making" ??
and meanwhile I am over here with the logic puzzle of: yesterday I drank eight cups of coffee and fell asleep at one am (normal) and today I drank two cups of coffee but it is now three am and I am still awake" and let me tell you. whatever the little machines inside my body are doing, I do not understand it
Yes of course I have adhd why do you ask
I think one of the biggest reasons I enjoy jjba is because I envy this level of confidence and sincerity in storytelling. See, I would not have just said something as fucking stupid as "bullet-deflecting oil." I would've come up with some kind of Watsonian bullshit magic-science explanation that at least squared with the logic of the story instead of just saying "Oh, it's an oil that deflects bullets" and moving on to the next thing. But that is not because I am a better storyteller, no, quite the opposite. It's because I'm a coward.

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Jacek Yerka, Eruption
www.artsytoad.tumblr.com
i like tumblr because occasionally i’ll be recommended a 12 year old post that depicts something so absolutely my shit that it makes me believe in art again
i don't WANT to drink water I WANT a bard to draft a eulogy for me to criticise!!!!!!!
me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth
fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))
me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!
fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*
normalize flopping. it’s ok to fail baby. sexy even
the amount of people saying "i thought you meant flopping on the ground". target audience
normalize flopping. it's ok to flail baby. sexy even

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tumblr post made by a 27 year old woman frustrated bc her boyfriend leaves her with the burden of household chores: god I wish men would stop "forgetting" to do the dishes
15 year old with adhd in the replies who has just been yelled at for forgetting the dishes: what if he's neurodivergent and you're bullying him
mra blogs, by the dozen: this is why Matriarchy has failed our most vulnerable men
This is actually such a good point. 100% of posts I make with an opinion are things I made while a bit pissed off that don’t stand up to any scrutiny and should not get more than 2 notes
The Coffeyville Daily Journal, Kansas, April 30, 1896
before neil banging out the tunes there was czar scraping the strings