i am a person, thats all you need to know

crafters often refer to this collection as a "stash" or a "hoard."

it's normal to have, but sometimes comes with a certain awkwardness.

the problem is that it takes a very long time to make things from textiles - and it is extremely quick, fun and easy to get more materials.

Presents, impulse purchases, leftovers from other projects, things you bought FULLY intending to make something that you changed your mind about...

Another problem is that you genuinely DO have a plan for the materials! your intentions and desires are THERE!

and admitting that it isn't going to happen - or that your mind has changed, or you're no longer able to do them - can be really painful!

it's incredibly hard to say: "we are not the people who can do these things. we are not the people who WILL do these things."

but sometimes you need to.

it's a natural part of life. it might feel painful to let go of things that you really want to use, but won't. But clearing them out - and the attached guilt and shame - will make room for a lot more things in your life. Room for things you'll use. Room for the projects you'll do.

Room and space - not for hanging on to the shades of the ambitions and intentions and people you aren't - not being held for lives you don't have - but room and space for who you are today, and who you'll be tomorrow, and for the things you'll do.

Room and space to grow.

-client with tiny yorkie tucked IN HER BRA and his foot got stuck and she absolutely could not get him out and he was scratching her and she started crying so yeah...I unhooked the dog's hock from her bra

-my tech was holding a big somewhat aggressive rottie who was, unfortunately, only actually handleable if the client was holding her head. client proceeded to fart. in my tech's face. I felt so bad

-too many cats that velcro onto their human or the tech when you try to examine them so you have to either examine them with their tiny needle claws dug into the human's shoulder (inevitably copping a feel) or having to peel the poor kitty off the person while getting in REAL close and often pulling clothing in very awkward ways

then there's the unfortunate times you need to provide canine sex ed to clients who are not breeders, have no interest in breeding, and had no idea that their neutered dogs could still have sexual reactions. this means I've had to:

-inform one client that his dog was, in fact, sucking himself off (I said it nicer than that; the client's response was, "Oh. oh I'm rather proud of him actually.");

-another that yes, prostate stimulation will cause erections when I was doing a rectal exam and she was really confused about that and then had the revelation about how anal penetration works for men in real time in the exam room;

-and just today, that yes, neutered male dogs will still hump other dogs and can in fact get erections and sometimes you need to lube those penises up and stuff them back in if they won't fix themselves or your dog needs to come in for urgent care. she sighed, looked at her husband, and said, "well, I guess we need to go buy some KY."

Which she did! She did do that, but with one hand and the other was more on his flank. Which was against my chest. And she was rubbing her fingers up and down his side to calm him so I got a very gentle, accidental tit massage.

"Ma'am? That's my arm. That's my arm? You have my arm? Can you let go that's my arm?"

Hey husband had to tell her that she had me and not the dog and she was so embarrassed but good natured about it.

The guards mock her. She's never getting out of here. What's she counting down for?

But for someone who's imprisoned for life, no parole, she seems remarkably at peace. She doesn't cry, she doesn't plead. She reads. She sings sometimes. She counts off her days.

Beyond the walls, the wars are blazing. People are fighting, and starving, and dying. But there are also people helping. People risking everything to save who they can. They still believe in the Hail Mary.

In 2037, Stratt crosses off the last day. This is the day she will escape, when the team who have been working in her stead will meet her outside the prison and whisk her away to her place as the head of operations where she belongs.