Obsess and Assess

I like when cats are like busy doing something and not really in the mood to be pet so they like walk past you at exactly the right distance to be just barely out of reach and if you lean forward they very slightly increase their pace to avoid getting caught in the affection zone. Like oh sorry sir I didn’t realize you were in the middle of important business. We can reschedule this for another time

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

i am an ally to all embarrassing and uncool women forever and ever

the 20th century is crazy what do you mean that airplanes didnt exist in 1900 and by 1999 Futurama was airing

I love that opera sits in this limbo where it's extremely well-known but not really beyond a surface level recognition, so you get commercials for makeup or whatever to the tune of the I Hate Women So Much It's Unreal aria

when people defend the “Cis white guy is default” thing like “He’s meant to be an everyman we can all relate to and project on!” kindly remind them the largest ethnic group in the WORLD is Han Chinese and the highest gender percentage fluctuates so if you want an ACTUAL  “default” you want a 40 year old chinese person whose gender changes from year to year.  

#give us the middle-aged gender fluid Chinese protagonist that we can all relate to and project on (via @mr-and-mr-pavus)

*sees two women interacting for five seconds in a show*: c’mooooon lesbians *shaking dice in fist* mama needs a new pair of lesbians