Pretty Glasses Girl

call that a bear market

I hate that that statement is actually correct.

lion roars are not as powerful as some guy named frank with a trash can

I’M FUCKING WHEEZING

I liTERaLLY CAnT BTeAtHE

an array of supremely unsexy happenings

a number of goings-on that just werent very cash money

reddit is continually full of men explaining why, actually, they don’t need to wash their hands after peeing because their penis really is very clean, and i am genuinely so sorry for straight and bi women everywhere. ladies. we don’t deserve this.

like, imagine picking that as your hill to die on. imagine being a whole-ass grown man and still insisting your pee-pee is actually so magically clean that washing your hands would be dumb and a waste of your precious time that you could better spend, i don’t know, playing hearthstone or whatever. sometimes when i say ‘i hate men’ i mean ‘i hate pervasive sexist norms’ and sometimes i just mean holy FUCK please wash your fucking HANDS

mike’s hard bubble tea

Bro….

😂😂😂

Not sure if we can pull this off, but in addition to all public schools having a fully comprehensive sex ed, the class should also cover personal hygiene and the importance of dental health, because like sexual education these are topics of body safety with huge personal and social consequences that aren’t always sufficiently covered at home

Did y'all know as kids that poor dental hygiene causes heart failure? What about brain damage? Were you taught that makeup can give you breakouts? That your skin can absorb both nutrients and harmful chemicals, and your nails do too? This is important stuff and I had no idea when I was in school, kids need to know this

Poor dental hygiene can cause what now???

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

When you introduce two different groups of friends to each other, it’s like your own life’s crossover episode.

Capitalism.