Fuck You, Nintendo Fans!
If you're a dumb enough asshole to play a Mario Party clone this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to Dokapon Kingdom!
Cheating AI!
Spells that don't work!
Thieves!
If you think you're gonna have fun playing Dokapon Kingdom, you can KISS MY ASS!
It's our belief that your such a stupid mother fucker, that you'll fall for this bullshit.
GUARANTEED
If you find a better game: Shove it up your ugly ass!
You heard us right:
SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!
Bring your friendships!
Bring your good controllers!
Bring your Dad; We'll fuck him! That's right; we'll fuck your Dad! (With RNG)
Because in Dokapon Kingdom, you're fucked six ways from Sunday!
Take a hike! To Dokapon Kingdom! Home of the Destroy Friendship Any% Speedrun!
How does it work? If you can play with another human being for 30 minutes and not be at each others throats, you get no bitches!
Don't wait!
Don't delay!
Don't fuck with us or we'll rip your nuts off!
Only in Dokapon Kingdom! The only game that tells you to FUCK OFF!
Hurry up asshole!
Story Mode ends the minute you write us a check, and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!
In Dokapon Kingdom! Nintendo's filthiest, and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in the Nintendo Expanded Universe!
GUARANTEED!
WHAT!?
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
I still think about this post sometimes because last year they released a Dokapon: Sword of Fury port (an earlier game than Kingdom) and if you thought Kingdom hated you, your family, your dog and existence itself then HOOOO BOOOOOY okay Swords of Fury will make Kingdom seem like a peaceful stroll through the park.
But you get to kill God at the end and that's nice!
