The ineffable brainrotting

Damned

"Pass me a book." Crowley says, eyes not leaving Satan.

"Which book?" Aziraphale is trying to think, why does it feel so hard?

"Well, it doesn't matter, they're all blank. Whichever one you give me is the right one."

Does Crowley have to be so short with him? Aziraphale wonders. What is happening to them? He reaches for a book. 'Bleak House' -oh. Fog. Love. Paperwork. Endless disputes. New home, like the old but... He hands it over to Crowley who writes in it.

"But - but that isn't The Book of Life." Something sparkles in Aziraphale's mind. If only he could get a moment to himself. Concentrate.

"It is if we say it is." Aziraphale hears Crowley say.

"What are you two idiots doing now?"

"I want answers." Crowley insists.

"Oh--no, no, you can't do that." Satan looks alarmed Aziraphale notices. But why? Oh.

"Oh, yes, we can." Crowley snarls at Satan. "Do you want to write it?" he asks.

"Give me the pen." Aziraphale sits down at his beloved desk, looks at the page in front of him. Absolutely not he thinks.

Satan' Aziraphale writes in the New Abridged Book of Life, disappeared like a nightmare upon waking, the only thing left after him was a vague feeling of dread and a bad memory.

"What are you doing angel? Did you just disappear Satan??" Crowley turns to Aziraphale sat at his desk, wide-eyed, Satan vanishing from in front of his eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry Crowley, I did try to be nice to him first!" Aziraphale snaps and feels his temper rise. He takes a deep breath. No. He will control this. He really needs some time to himself. "I don't know what you were expecting, reasonable answers? From him?"

"No, that's not- what are you writing now?"

With the universe destroyed, Aziraphale keeps going, hand shaking just slightly, God also ceased to exist, having nothing to control anymore, the two beings that never could be controlled out of Their grasp.

"Aziraphale!"

"Do you have any other ideas darling? Any better ideas?" Aziraphale asks, pouting. “We might not be getting any answers, but we are also not getting tricked by Them!" Aziraphale hisses.

"Um,” Crowley seems to concede, “What about - the books?" he gestures around them.

“You know, as much as I’d like to bring the universe back right this minute, I’d rather have a cup of tea first if you don’t mind and a moment to myself.”

“There’s nowhere I can lea-“

“Don’t be silly Crowley. You don’t count." Aziraphale sighs, looking and feeling so, so tired. "I mean," he gestures, "You don’t disturb my peace. Usually. I like having you around," he raises his voices as he tries to explain, "Haven’t I proved that over the millennia?”

“Well yes, but sometimes you’d still insinuate you have work to do-“

“Introverts have limits even for loved ones Crowley." Aziraphale sighs. "I haven’t had moment to myself in years. Let me get that cup of tea and then we can discuss what to do with the universe. After. Okay dear?”

• On their own side •

Feeling a little nostalgic today because I miss the Seven Sisters so much, so... here we are✨

"In the background Crowley and Aziraphale met on the tops of buses, and in art galleries, and at concerts, compared notes, and smiled."

Aziraphale and Crowley, 1941

inspired by:

There is no way anyone can look at this expression, and say that this is the face of someone who wanted to give up his life for the „real universe”.

Like, I just can’t stop thinking about the fact Aziraphale got coerced by God into commiting suicide.

Because it was the head of that corrupted system that abused him his whole existence the one responsible for the coercion AND the execution.

It's actually way worse than if Gabriel had managed to kill him with hellfire in s1.

If there's one constant in Crowley's heart and soul that was never meant to change, it's his love for Aziraphale. It's so passionate, so indelible and so human.

All he wanted was to walk on earth alongside the one person whom he feels safe with. He wanted to dine with Aziraphale at the Ritz, he wanted to show his angel all about the constellations he created and tell him the meaning behind them, he wanted to spend lazy days inside the bookshop cuddled up on the couch with a cup of coffee in hand while both of them read Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" taking turns voicing the characters dramatically.

Crowley wanted to keep marveling at humans new technological advancements, he wanted to feed the ducks, water his plants and watch them grow, he wanted to see humans do human-y things, and all of this, was something he longed to do with Aziraphale by his side.

He has loved Aziraphale for 6,000 years, there's no way in heaven or hell or the faith of the universe where he would even THINK about giving that up. He loves Earth and is facinated by humans, but Aziraphale by his side is what made his love for these things matter in a much larger scale.

The Crowley I grew to love would not have sacrificed himself, but much less, sacrifice Aziraphale. That wouldn't have been something he would've even dream of considering.

Crowley choices always end up being tied to Aziraphale. That's what his heart wants and has always wanted.

This time for real.