"Pass me a book." Crowley says, eyes not leaving Satan.
"Which book?" Aziraphale is trying to think, why does it feel so hard?
"Well, it doesn't matter, they're all blank. Whichever one you give me is the right one."
Does Crowley have to be so short with him? Aziraphale wonders. What is happening to them? He reaches for a book. 'Bleak House' -oh. Fog. Love. Paperwork. Endless disputes. New home, like the old but... He hands it over to Crowley who writes in it.
"But - but that isn't The Book of Life." Something sparkles in Aziraphale's mind. If only he could get a moment to himself. Concentrate.
"It is if we say it is." Aziraphale hears Crowley say.
"What are you two idiots doing now?"
"I want answers." Crowley insists.
"Oh--no, no, you can't do that." Satan looks alarmed Aziraphale notices. But why? Oh.
"Oh, yes, we can." Crowley snarls at Satan. "Do you want to write it?" he asks.
"Give me the pen." Aziraphale sits down at his beloved desk, looks at the page in front of him. Absolutely not he thinks.
Satan' Aziraphale writes in the New Abridged Book of Life, disappeared like a nightmare upon waking, the only thing left after him was a vague feeling of dread and a bad memory.
"What are you doing angel? Did you just disappear Satan??" Crowley turns to Aziraphale sat at his desk, wide-eyed, Satan vanishing from in front of his eyes.
"Well, I'm sorry Crowley, I did try to be nice to him first!" Aziraphale snaps and feels his temper rise. He takes a deep breath. No. He will control this. He really needs some time to himself. "I don't know what you were expecting, reasonable answers? From him?"
"No, that's not- what are you writing now?"
With the universe destroyed, Aziraphale keeps going, hand shaking just slightly, God also ceased to exist, having nothing to control anymore, the two beings that never could be controlled out of Their grasp.
"Do you have any other ideas darling? Any better ideas?" Aziraphale asks, pouting. “We might not be getting any answers, but we are also not getting tricked by Them!" Aziraphale hisses.
"Um,” Crowley seems to concede, “What about - the books?" he gestures around them.
“You know, as much as I’d like to bring the universe back right this minute, I’d rather have a cup of tea first if you don’t mind and a moment to myself.”
“There’s nowhere I can lea-“
“Don’t be silly Crowley. You don’t count." Aziraphale sighs, looking and feeling so, so tired. "I mean," he gestures, "You don’t disturb my peace. Usually. I like having you around," he raises his voices as he tries to explain, "Haven’t I proved that over the millennia?”
“Well yes, but sometimes you’d still insinuate you have work to do-“
“Introverts have limits even for loved ones Crowley." Aziraphale sighs. "I haven’t had moment to myself in years. Let me get that cup of tea and then we can discuss what to do with the universe. After. Okay dear?”
This is fix-it four I think, you can find three here, two here and one on AO3.